"Everything that humans can imagine, is a possibility in reality." -Physicist Willy Karen.
Something I found worth remembering while reading a manga.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
NTS
This shows how much I have no life, but I need to write it down or I might lose track of them.
TV Shows-
House
HowIMetYourMother
BigBangTheory
Bones
NCIS
Fringe
Dexter
Manga-
Fairy Tail - UTD
Mirai Nikki - UTD
FullMetalAlchemist - UTD
Naruto - UTD
One Piece - UTD
Zetsuen no Tempest - UTD
Monster Soul - CH XX
Yu Yu Hakusho - CH 10
Flame of Recca - CH XX
Law of Ueki - CH XX
Mahou Sensei Negima - CH XX
Ayashi no Ceres - CH XX
Bleach - CH XX
Darker Than Black - CH XX
I'll add more once I remember them.
* UTD = up to date
TV Shows-
House
HowIMetYourMother
BigBangTheory
Bones
NCIS
Fringe
Dexter
Manga-
Fairy Tail - UTD
Mirai Nikki - UTD
FullMetalAlchemist - UTD
Naruto - UTD
One Piece - UTD
Zetsuen no Tempest - UTD
Monster Soul - CH XX
Yu Yu Hakusho - CH 10
Flame of Recca - CH XX
Law of Ueki - CH XX
Mahou Sensei Negima - CH XX
Ayashi no Ceres - CH XX
Bleach - CH XX
Darker Than Black - CH XX
I'll add more once I remember them.
* UTD = up to date
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Double Poems :)
Seeing as I haven't updated in a while, I present you with TWO poems :)
Enjoy !
To Be Human.
To be human is to be imperfect, little quirks and flaws.
To look past the imperfection, and portray patience.
To be human is to error, make mistakes, and take the fall.
Or place blame on someone else, and sneak around the truth.
To be human is to lie, exagerate the truth, alter what it really is.
Adjust it, tamper it, adapt it, turn ignorance into bliss.
To be human is to understand, see past the walls insecurity put together.
Because judging one's insecurities is like disregarding a well thought out letter.
To be human is to feel the emotions set free regardless if it's sincere.
Regardless if it was faked, isolation is what humans really fear.
To be human is to protect what one holds dear.
To throw their life away to keep their loved ones away from fear.
To be human is to love, and feel that love given back.
To know guilt, regret, pride, lust and whatever you lack.
To be human is to smile, ear to ear, regardless of the pain.
To be human is to smile, ear to ear, to hide away the pain.
To be human is to feel guilt, and repentance when you've done wrong.
To be human is to break apart, lose pieces, only to come back up, strong.
To be human is to give away your heart, regardless of the future up ahead.
To be human is to take risks, regardless of the future bleeding out red.
To be human is to grow up, living the adventure of the real world.
Fill out dreams and goals, and find that perfect girl.
Raise a family, grow old and pass away.
Live life to the fullest and still live with regrets of that one day.
To be human is complicated, and simple at the same time.
But I don't want to be human, because they never have enough time.
The Monster Inside Me.
I was walking in the depths of my mind.
I came across this room with a cage inside.
I saw a figure in the cage before me.
He was bound by weights on his shoulder.
He turned his head and his eyes shined red.
He growled at me and muttered a few words.
I must've misheard and he walked towards me.
Stood right in front of me.
He smiled at me and my body shuddered at the glance of his crooked grin.
As I stared into his dark, shallow eyes, I could feel my body trembling at the thought that this monster is inside of me.
You could feel the evil seep through.
I wondered what created it and how could I undo this monster from being born.
But its like I was staring into a mirror.
Except every scar, bruise, pain and thorn was visibly present.
And in the abscenece of acceptance, this evil in front of me was born.
I could see the events that made him stronger flash before me.
Every time I felt alone.
Every moment I faced depression.
Every night where I am left alone wtih thoughts.
Every opportunity my heart was crushed before my very eyes.
Every brick that I covered myself with.
Every soul that abandoned me.
Every smile that was faked.
Every word that inspired deciet.
Every tear that drops
Every line I write.
Every poem I compose.
Every picture I capture.
Every breath I take.
I gave life to this monster.
I shuddered once again at the thought that this monster is inside me.
No, this monster is me.
Enjoy !
To Be Human.
To be human is to be imperfect, little quirks and flaws.
To look past the imperfection, and portray patience.
To be human is to error, make mistakes, and take the fall.
Or place blame on someone else, and sneak around the truth.
To be human is to lie, exagerate the truth, alter what it really is.
Adjust it, tamper it, adapt it, turn ignorance into bliss.
To be human is to understand, see past the walls insecurity put together.
Because judging one's insecurities is like disregarding a well thought out letter.
To be human is to feel the emotions set free regardless if it's sincere.
Regardless if it was faked, isolation is what humans really fear.
To be human is to protect what one holds dear.
To throw their life away to keep their loved ones away from fear.
To be human is to love, and feel that love given back.
To know guilt, regret, pride, lust and whatever you lack.
To be human is to smile, ear to ear, regardless of the pain.
To be human is to smile, ear to ear, to hide away the pain.
To be human is to feel guilt, and repentance when you've done wrong.
To be human is to break apart, lose pieces, only to come back up, strong.
To be human is to give away your heart, regardless of the future up ahead.
To be human is to take risks, regardless of the future bleeding out red.
To be human is to grow up, living the adventure of the real world.
Fill out dreams and goals, and find that perfect girl.
Raise a family, grow old and pass away.
Live life to the fullest and still live with regrets of that one day.
To be human is complicated, and simple at the same time.
But I don't want to be human, because they never have enough time.
The Monster Inside Me.
I was walking in the depths of my mind.
I came across this room with a cage inside.
I saw a figure in the cage before me.
He was bound by weights on his shoulder.
He turned his head and his eyes shined red.
He growled at me and muttered a few words.
I must've misheard and he walked towards me.
Stood right in front of me.
He smiled at me and my body shuddered at the glance of his crooked grin.
As I stared into his dark, shallow eyes, I could feel my body trembling at the thought that this monster is inside of me.
You could feel the evil seep through.
I wondered what created it and how could I undo this monster from being born.
But its like I was staring into a mirror.
Except every scar, bruise, pain and thorn was visibly present.
And in the abscenece of acceptance, this evil in front of me was born.
I could see the events that made him stronger flash before me.
Every time I felt alone.
Every moment I faced depression.
Every night where I am left alone wtih thoughts.
Every opportunity my heart was crushed before my very eyes.
Every brick that I covered myself with.
Every soul that abandoned me.
Every smile that was faked.
Every word that inspired deciet.
Every tear that drops
Every line I write.
Every poem I compose.
Every picture I capture.
Every breath I take.
I gave life to this monster.
I shuddered once again at the thought that this monster is inside me.
No, this monster is me.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Christmas Wishlist !
Okay, normally, I'm not the materialistic type. It's quite rare that I want a bunch of things all at once. But I thought I'd indulge my greedy nature and show my readers what kind of things I desire. But some of them aren't that materialistic. So...here we go !
HIMYM Seasons 1-5
No Country For Old Men DVD
Nikon SB-400 Speedlight Flash
More enthusiastic and not busy models
Borderlands (PS3)
A great part time job
Better photography skills
More photoshoots
Better sleeping habits
Better educational habits
Better writing skills
Commitment, dedication and motivation to my stories
A new video card so I can dual screen
XBOX 360 ELITE (With HALO 3)
;)
Inspiration
That wish that I wish for every 11:11 to come true.
And, that's it, I suppose.
kristine, dianne says (11:18 PM):
kinda miss your voice
just a tad bit
^ :P
HIMYM Seasons 1-5
No Country For Old Men DVD
Nikon SB-400 Speedlight Flash
More enthusiastic and not busy models
Borderlands (PS3)
A great part time job
Better photography skills
More photoshoots
Better sleeping habits
Better educational habits
Better writing skills
Commitment, dedication and motivation to my stories
A new video card so I can dual screen
XBOX 360 ELITE (With HALO 3)
;)
Inspiration
That wish that I wish for every 11:11 to come true.
And, that's it, I suppose.
kristine, dianne says (11:18 PM):
kinda miss your voice
just a tad bit
^ :P
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Oh.
Toothless
To dream that you are toothless, signifies your inability to reach your goals and advance toward your interests. Gloom and ill health will be part of your setbacks.
I dreamt that I was the one pulling my own teeth.
What's wrong with me.
To dream that you are toothless, signifies your inability to reach your goals and advance toward your interests. Gloom and ill health will be part of your setbacks.
I dreamt that I was the one pulling my own teeth.
What's wrong with me.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Canadian.
So, I just wanted to randomly write a short blog before I head to bed.
I was on the phone the other night and I recited five poems off the top of my head. Sad to say, all five were better than anything I've ever written. Or maybe it's because they were all improvised and made up on the spot. Hm, who knows.
I'm going to rewrite them or something...or start recording what my improvised poems.
Anyways, there's a snow storm happening at the moment. The wind is so strong that I can hear it inside the safety of my room.
Okay, on to dishes, then sleeeep.
I'll be back with some poetry.
I was on the phone the other night and I recited five poems off the top of my head. Sad to say, all five were better than anything I've ever written. Or maybe it's because they were all improvised and made up on the spot. Hm, who knows.
I'm going to rewrite them or something...or start recording what my improvised poems.
Anyways, there's a snow storm happening at the moment. The wind is so strong that I can hear it inside the safety of my room.
Okay, on to dishes, then sleeeep.
I'll be back with some poetry.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Interpretation.
Self expression's love.
Photography's life.
Writing's inspiration.
Honesty's lies.
Sloth's death.
Gluttony's fear.
Pride's self-esteem.
Lust's joy.
Greed's charity.
Wrath's kindness.
Envy's truth.
They say life is an adventure. But that's just one way to interpret it, is it not?
Photography's life.
Writing's inspiration.
Honesty's lies.
Sloth's death.
Gluttony's fear.
Pride's self-esteem.
Lust's joy.
Greed's charity.
Wrath's kindness.
Envy's truth.
They say life is an adventure. But that's just one way to interpret it, is it not?
Friday, December 4, 2009
Lost Inspiration
I was inspired to continue my previous stories. But youtube distracted me. Curse you Natalie/CommunityChannel. Curse you.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Writing Angrily.
I don't like you.
That's just stating it lightly.
You piss me off.
And if you're wondering why that might be.
Why don't you take a fucking minute.
Evaluate yourself before you reply.
Thinking you're so slick with your shit talk.
Please.
Keep your childish nonsense to your self.
I couldn't care less about what the fuck happened at some gay ass party you happened to creep into.
And I wasn't eavesdropping.
You're talking so fucking loud, it's hard to not hear you !
You're such a fucking drama queen.
And yes, I know you're a guy.
But you know, I hear shit too.
And from what I hear, you're a fucking queer.
Thinking you're the fucking best out of everyone out there.
Acting like you own the motherfucking place.
Criticizing everyone like you know how everything's suppose to be done.
I'm sick of you looking down on everyone.
Frankly, I'm pissed off about everything you are.
And at least, I won't go talking shit and saying your name out loud, making it everyone else's business.
You're nothing.
You're nothing but a gossiping, cocky son of a bitch who doesn't know when he's crossed the line.
If I had a temper, I would've punched the shit out of you by now.
But quite frankly, I don't give a shit about you.
And sure, go ahead, say that I do give a shit because I posted this post about you.
Well, I just want to straighten every fucking body.
Who thinks I give a shit about what you think about me.
I don't.
Go die.
[note; I was trying to write in another theme, instead of the morbid work of poetry that I am apparently known for. I must admit that I had a few people in mind when I started writing this, but I don't let others bother me, because they're not part of my life to begin wtih, so why care? Anyways, just trying something new for me.]
That's just stating it lightly.
You piss me off.
And if you're wondering why that might be.
Why don't you take a fucking minute.
Evaluate yourself before you reply.
Thinking you're so slick with your shit talk.
Please.
Keep your childish nonsense to your self.
I couldn't care less about what the fuck happened at some gay ass party you happened to creep into.
And I wasn't eavesdropping.
You're talking so fucking loud, it's hard to not hear you !
You're such a fucking drama queen.
And yes, I know you're a guy.
But you know, I hear shit too.
And from what I hear, you're a fucking queer.
Thinking you're the fucking best out of everyone out there.
Acting like you own the motherfucking place.
Criticizing everyone like you know how everything's suppose to be done.
I'm sick of you looking down on everyone.
Frankly, I'm pissed off about everything you are.
And at least, I won't go talking shit and saying your name out loud, making it everyone else's business.
You're nothing.
You're nothing but a gossiping, cocky son of a bitch who doesn't know when he's crossed the line.
If I had a temper, I would've punched the shit out of you by now.
But quite frankly, I don't give a shit about you.
And sure, go ahead, say that I do give a shit because I posted this post about you.
Well, I just want to straighten every fucking body.
Who thinks I give a shit about what you think about me.
I don't.
Go die.
[note; I was trying to write in another theme, instead of the morbid work of poetry that I am apparently known for. I must admit that I had a few people in mind when I started writing this, but I don't let others bother me, because they're not part of my life to begin wtih, so why care? Anyways, just trying something new for me.]
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monster
I've been listening to Rafael Casal's The Monster LP, it's by far one of my favourite mixtapes ever because it's about this monster inside us all. And it's really the concept I've wrapped my mind around on, the whole "mankind was born evil, we're only good because we have rules for our society." Anyways, it gave me an idea. I'm going to take a snippet of the song which really spoke to me and use that as my vantage point.
Uhm, that's it for now I suppose.
Can't believe it's december already.
Oh well. Check frequently, though I'm not sure why you would.
I'll be back with some artsy stuff or somethign later.
Uhm, that's it for now I suppose.
Can't believe it's december already.
Oh well. Check frequently, though I'm not sure why you would.
I'll be back with some artsy stuff or somethign later.
Layout !
A new layout, pretty awesome, IMO.
Thanks Karl Nik ! ;)
Uhm, what else.
I guess that's it for now.
Oh, Rafael Casal's mixtape - The Monster - is a pretty sick mixtape.
Almost as dope as Lupe's Enemy of the State mixtape.
Gotta add those to my iPod before the end of tonight.
Hm, that's it for now.
I'm getting hungry, gotta go eat.
Keep checking frequently.
I have an english assignment to write a poem with the same totalitarianism theme as 1984.
It's a challenge, I must say.
And, watch out for Aaron's Life Story.
I'm almost done the rough draft of the story itself.
Hopefully, it'll be as awesome as people highly anticipate it as !
Stay safe.
Thanks Karl Nik ! ;)
Uhm, what else.
I guess that's it for now.
Oh, Rafael Casal's mixtape - The Monster - is a pretty sick mixtape.
Almost as dope as Lupe's Enemy of the State mixtape.
Gotta add those to my iPod before the end of tonight.
Hm, that's it for now.
I'm getting hungry, gotta go eat.
Keep checking frequently.
I have an english assignment to write a poem with the same totalitarianism theme as 1984.
It's a challenge, I must say.
And, watch out for Aaron's Life Story.
I'm almost done the rough draft of the story itself.
Hopefully, it'll be as awesome as people highly anticipate it as !
Stay safe.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The Axiom.
You're special.
And that's only scratching the surface of what I think about you.
There are millions of words in the English dictionary.
And I still can't find the right set of words to explain what goes through my mind when my smile reflects yours.
A million synonyms and antonyms.
And I still can't find the ideal word to describe how beautiful your eyes are, when I find myself lost in them.
A million different combinations of sentences can be formed.
And yet, I still can't find that sentence that would plunge despair, doubt, cynicism, hate and envy out of your vocabulary.
A million thoughts formed in a single second.
But the one thought that I need to perfectly portray the loveliness that I see in you, always alludes me.
It escapes me.
Like the millions of phrases that I wish I could come up with to properly display the attraction that your mind has captured me with.
Billions and millions and thousands of expressions are out there,
Not one of them can depict, in HD quality imagery, the way my heart beats faster when it hears the beat of your heart.
I can't come across a single axiom, or the truth when I try to explain the effects inflicted towards me when I hear the sound your soothing, calming, gentle voice.
It's impossible to explain how my soul smiles when it senses that you are near by.
You're special, and it's difficult to explain what you mean to me.
But some things are better left unexplained.
And that's only scratching the surface of what I think about you.
There are millions of words in the English dictionary.
And I still can't find the right set of words to explain what goes through my mind when my smile reflects yours.
A million synonyms and antonyms.
And I still can't find the ideal word to describe how beautiful your eyes are, when I find myself lost in them.
A million different combinations of sentences can be formed.
And yet, I still can't find that sentence that would plunge despair, doubt, cynicism, hate and envy out of your vocabulary.
A million thoughts formed in a single second.
But the one thought that I need to perfectly portray the loveliness that I see in you, always alludes me.
It escapes me.
Like the millions of phrases that I wish I could come up with to properly display the attraction that your mind has captured me with.
Billions and millions and thousands of expressions are out there,
Not one of them can depict, in HD quality imagery, the way my heart beats faster when it hears the beat of your heart.
I can't come across a single axiom, or the truth when I try to explain the effects inflicted towards me when I hear the sound your soothing, calming, gentle voice.
It's impossible to explain how my soul smiles when it senses that you are near by.
You're special, and it's difficult to explain what you mean to me.
But some things are better left unexplained.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
I Don't Understand
NOTE: I wrote this about a month ago. I never got around to posting it here. Well, without further ado, enjoy!
I Don't Understand.
I don't understand.
I don't understand how people are always telling me that I'm nice, I'm a good guy, I've got an interesting personality, I've got a brilliant mind and I've got a great smile.
And sometimes, they say I'm hella cute.
And yet, with all those apparent qualities that people see in me,
Why do I end up with friends who become more than friends but in the end, they're nothing but a bunch of...
You might say I'm just bitter.
But because of them my entire life has scars and stitches and each one of them tell a story.
This one, on my right shoulder, was from the time I spent countless hours listening to her because I was a coward.
I took pride that she could cower and take cover on my shoulder and I didn't want to lose that bond with her.
She would always tell me, oh Angelo, why can't I find a guy like you, but you did find a guy like me
I wanted to tell her how I felt, but she just kept on telling me that she wished she could find a guy like me.
She eventually did find a guy like me...
This one, on my left cheek, is from this girl that seemed meek, but she would always flirt with me.
It meant the world to me, but it was worth more to me than it was to her.
Because the minute I felt like we were going steady, her boyfriend punched me across the face.
And when my face took impact with his fist, all I could think about was what did I do to deserve this.
So as I lied flat on my back, with her holding him back, I got up and swung my fist back.
I never spoke to her again.
This one on my right wrist was from the time I fell for lust.
She, grabbed me by the wrist, and we, found a place to ourselves, and I pulled her closer by the hips, and we... kissed.
But we met minutes ago.
I suggested we took things slow.
Start off with a hi, I'm Angelo.
And just, you know, go with the flow?
She got off me and left the room.
She hissed and said she just wanted a one night honeymoon.
Without the matrimony or love in full bloom.
I hope she caught AIDS.
There was the time where this girl left a scar on my back, right behind my spine.
I thought she was mine, and that the whole universe was finally aligned and that everything was finally fine.
But, she would always lie to me.
And I always believed her.
Because I cared for her.
I stood by her side, comforting her when she needs me, always by her side, I was there when she was sick, by her bedside.
She told me that I was the best boyfriend she ever had, and that she never wanted it to end.
But nine weeks in, I found out that she... she...she had... another boyfriend.
I felt betrayed, backstabbed, bamboozled, I was back to square one.
I hope he broke her heart.
I have a scar, in the middle, of my heart.
It hasn't healed yet.
Because she, made me, happy.
Happier than any form of drugs, alcohol or temporary high could bring.
She was my natural high.
Seeing her smile was the drug that I needed to get by, everyday.
We were both busy for one another, but the way we made time for each other was...amazing.
I would pick her up after her work just so I could spend half an hour on the bus with her.
I would wait for her to get off school just so I could walk her home.
We would take the long way getting home whenever we had the chance to go out.
She would leave me voicemail every morning just to remind me that she cares about me.
For Valentine's Day, I bought her a bouquet and went to her place.
Only to find out that she bought me a bouquet and went to my place.
She was really special to me.
So I gave her a gift that I never gave to anyone before.
I gave her something precious to me.
I gave her...
My heart.
Everything was going great, I knew we had something great, but she, broke up, with me.
I didn't know why, and I held in my tears, pride didn't let me cry.
But I was hurt, she broke my self-worth
I became cold, frigid, arctic weather towards any girl trying to get close to me.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't break past what I am.
I'll be forever known as
A nice guy, with a smile that seems to always be there.
I'll always be that guy
with the brilliant mind and a great personality... but maybe... maybe that's my liability.
I Don't Understand.
I don't understand.
I don't understand how people are always telling me that I'm nice, I'm a good guy, I've got an interesting personality, I've got a brilliant mind and I've got a great smile.
And sometimes, they say I'm hella cute.
And yet, with all those apparent qualities that people see in me,
Why do I end up with friends who become more than friends but in the end, they're nothing but a bunch of...
You might say I'm just bitter.
But because of them my entire life has scars and stitches and each one of them tell a story.
This one, on my right shoulder, was from the time I spent countless hours listening to her because I was a coward.
I took pride that she could cower and take cover on my shoulder and I didn't want to lose that bond with her.
She would always tell me, oh Angelo, why can't I find a guy like you, but you did find a guy like me
I wanted to tell her how I felt, but she just kept on telling me that she wished she could find a guy like me.
She eventually did find a guy like me...
This one, on my left cheek, is from this girl that seemed meek, but she would always flirt with me.
It meant the world to me, but it was worth more to me than it was to her.
Because the minute I felt like we were going steady, her boyfriend punched me across the face.
And when my face took impact with his fist, all I could think about was what did I do to deserve this.
So as I lied flat on my back, with her holding him back, I got up and swung my fist back.
I never spoke to her again.
This one on my right wrist was from the time I fell for lust.
She, grabbed me by the wrist, and we, found a place to ourselves, and I pulled her closer by the hips, and we... kissed.
But we met minutes ago.
I suggested we took things slow.
Start off with a hi, I'm Angelo.
And just, you know, go with the flow?
She got off me and left the room.
She hissed and said she just wanted a one night honeymoon.
Without the matrimony or love in full bloom.
I hope she caught AIDS.
There was the time where this girl left a scar on my back, right behind my spine.
I thought she was mine, and that the whole universe was finally aligned and that everything was finally fine.
But, she would always lie to me.
And I always believed her.
Because I cared for her.
I stood by her side, comforting her when she needs me, always by her side, I was there when she was sick, by her bedside.
She told me that I was the best boyfriend she ever had, and that she never wanted it to end.
But nine weeks in, I found out that she... she...she had... another boyfriend.
I felt betrayed, backstabbed, bamboozled, I was back to square one.
I hope he broke her heart.
I have a scar, in the middle, of my heart.
It hasn't healed yet.
Because she, made me, happy.
Happier than any form of drugs, alcohol or temporary high could bring.
She was my natural high.
Seeing her smile was the drug that I needed to get by, everyday.
We were both busy for one another, but the way we made time for each other was...amazing.
I would pick her up after her work just so I could spend half an hour on the bus with her.
I would wait for her to get off school just so I could walk her home.
We would take the long way getting home whenever we had the chance to go out.
She would leave me voicemail every morning just to remind me that she cares about me.
For Valentine's Day, I bought her a bouquet and went to her place.
Only to find out that she bought me a bouquet and went to my place.
She was really special to me.
So I gave her a gift that I never gave to anyone before.
I gave her something precious to me.
I gave her...
My heart.
Everything was going great, I knew we had something great, but she, broke up, with me.
I didn't know why, and I held in my tears, pride didn't let me cry.
But I was hurt, she broke my self-worth
I became cold, frigid, arctic weather towards any girl trying to get close to me.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't break past what I am.
I'll be forever known as
A nice guy, with a smile that seems to always be there.
I'll always be that guy
with the brilliant mind and a great personality... but maybe... maybe that's my liability.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Breaktime.
So, I have little faith in myself. I have twelve questions left about the rest of the 1984 novel where I'm only half way through Part One. Due in a matter of hours. Followed by a two short 250 word essays on feeling helpless, and the concept of memory and existence. Along with a poem with the same theme as 1984. These reflection papers are due this friday. Oh joy. Plus, I feel like my teacher's going to kill me tomorrow. Good thing I'm continuing my math where I left off and not from scratch. At least I'm okay with that. I think. NTS: Attend school more frequently. Four times a week, if not five. Fuck me and my school habits. Honestly.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Daydreamin'
I was up, at three in the morning.
Just sitting on my bed.
With George Orwell's 1984 novel sitting on my lap.
But my eyes weren't anywhere near the font of the book.
Instead, they were staring straight at my beige wall.
My attention focused on a night light shooting star sticker the previous owners had left.
I was up, at three in the morning.
Daydreaming.
Running away from the novel that was assigned to me.
Instead of imagery of Winston Smith, the world he struggles with, and the always watching Big Brother,
My attention focused on a world where there is here and here is there.
I was up, daydreaming.
Inside my own world that I drew and painted.
Where characters from my own ideas evovle into real people that interact with me.
And struggle with me.
Even in my own world, I have problems.
For if it was not for conflicts, our lives would be too quick.
The beige wall helped paint the scene where my mind has taken me.
Clouds colour the sky grey as the sun seeks refuge behind them.
An urban city road filled with busy, shady people.
All keeping to themselves, I sit and observe from a distance.
Some interact with who I presume are their friends and I observe from a distance.
I wish to reach out and interact with the blank faces of those walking by me
But instead, I keep my hands to myself and observe... from a distance.
This distance is killing me, I thought, as I too, yearned for social interaction.
But the distance I've lived with has kept me distant from people.
Unable to connect, to feel, to love, to interact, I keep to myself... and observe... from a distance.
Until this female character sits besides me, and observes the world... with me.
At first, I was confused by this notion as she sat a little too close to me.
She sat down and mimicked my posture as she too hugged her knees.
When she had completely copied how I was sitting, she turned to me, and smiled.
I stared at her, in confusion and curiousity.
She turned back to the crowd and observed.
Even though she was watching from a distance, she didn't have the same cold feeling resonating from her.
I turned back to the crowds, debating why she pulsed a different aura even though we are in a similar situation.
And we watched, from a distance... in silence.
But I wasn't paying attention to the people that interacted with one another.
They became uninteresting once she sat beside me.
I looked into the crowd, but she was the focus of my attention, through the corner of my eye.
She turned her head, back at me, and smiled once again.
We talked, as the people went on about thier day.
I started to feel something strange, in my heart, but I could not describe it.
"It's called love," she said, and described the conditions of this new disease.
She laughed at my reaction, and I blankly stared at her.
Love, I thought to myself.
I turned to the crowd and the blank faces turned to smiles and upside down smiles.
I began to feel what these people are feeling.
And I understood why she didn't have the cold aura resonating from her.
It's because she loves.
And she brought love to my life.
I told her I wished to stay in her presence.
Because I was able to connect, to feel, to love, to interact.
And it was with her help that I was able to do such things.
She smiled, and I realized the stupidity of my request.
It's just a daydream.
I was up, at three in the morning.
Just emerging from the story my mind has brought to life.
With a fresh smile from the feeling that person had given me.
It may have been just a daydream.
But the aura that resonated from her is still with me.
It may have been just a daydream, but that encounter with her, meant the world to me.
Just sitting on my bed.
With George Orwell's 1984 novel sitting on my lap.
But my eyes weren't anywhere near the font of the book.
Instead, they were staring straight at my beige wall.
My attention focused on a night light shooting star sticker the previous owners had left.
I was up, at three in the morning.
Daydreaming.
Running away from the novel that was assigned to me.
Instead of imagery of Winston Smith, the world he struggles with, and the always watching Big Brother,
My attention focused on a world where there is here and here is there.
I was up, daydreaming.
Inside my own world that I drew and painted.
Where characters from my own ideas evovle into real people that interact with me.
And struggle with me.
Even in my own world, I have problems.
For if it was not for conflicts, our lives would be too quick.
The beige wall helped paint the scene where my mind has taken me.
Clouds colour the sky grey as the sun seeks refuge behind them.
An urban city road filled with busy, shady people.
All keeping to themselves, I sit and observe from a distance.
Some interact with who I presume are their friends and I observe from a distance.
I wish to reach out and interact with the blank faces of those walking by me
But instead, I keep my hands to myself and observe... from a distance.
This distance is killing me, I thought, as I too, yearned for social interaction.
But the distance I've lived with has kept me distant from people.
Unable to connect, to feel, to love, to interact, I keep to myself... and observe... from a distance.
Until this female character sits besides me, and observes the world... with me.
At first, I was confused by this notion as she sat a little too close to me.
She sat down and mimicked my posture as she too hugged her knees.
When she had completely copied how I was sitting, she turned to me, and smiled.
I stared at her, in confusion and curiousity.
She turned back to the crowd and observed.
Even though she was watching from a distance, she didn't have the same cold feeling resonating from her.
I turned back to the crowds, debating why she pulsed a different aura even though we are in a similar situation.
And we watched, from a distance... in silence.
But I wasn't paying attention to the people that interacted with one another.
They became uninteresting once she sat beside me.
I looked into the crowd, but she was the focus of my attention, through the corner of my eye.
She turned her head, back at me, and smiled once again.
We talked, as the people went on about thier day.
I started to feel something strange, in my heart, but I could not describe it.
"It's called love," she said, and described the conditions of this new disease.
She laughed at my reaction, and I blankly stared at her.
Love, I thought to myself.
I turned to the crowd and the blank faces turned to smiles and upside down smiles.
I began to feel what these people are feeling.
And I understood why she didn't have the cold aura resonating from her.
It's because she loves.
And she brought love to my life.
I told her I wished to stay in her presence.
Because I was able to connect, to feel, to love, to interact.
And it was with her help that I was able to do such things.
She smiled, and I realized the stupidity of my request.
It's just a daydream.
I was up, at three in the morning.
Just emerging from the story my mind has brought to life.
With a fresh smile from the feeling that person had given me.
It may have been just a daydream.
But the aura that resonated from her is still with me.
It may have been just a daydream, but that encounter with her, meant the world to me.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Vulnerable.
What makes you so different?
Cuz you see, I've placed walls that are stacked so high, no one was suppose to see the very top of it.
Not even if you stand right under it and not even if you stood three hundred kilometers away from it.
It's stacked so high that if I made these imaginary walls into something that reality can see...
It would climb higher than the skies could reach, higher than any satellite orbiting the sky, higher than logically possible.
That it would not only disrupt the orbit of Mars, but get past the asteroid belt, hit Jupiter, break off Saturn's rings, fix the spin of Uranus, and hit the blue mass that we call Neptune.
And it wouldn't stop there.
It'd leave our solar system and fuck up the near by system's rotating orbit.
It's built so high that it would reach the end of the universe.
And that's said with the theory that the universe has no end.
But not only did it hit the wall of the universe, but it broke through and who knows what the fuck is outside the universe.
And if it found itself an entrance to a black hole... it would've found the exit.
I know it's not logical, fuck you science. It's called a metaphor.
You could try and dig under, but these walls are dug in deep.
Dug in so deep that I don't even recall when they were being constructed.
Or how deep the hole was when construction was happening.
These walls are so thick that no atomic bomb could be strong enough to decimate it.
So thick that if you used a drill to try and get through to me, you'd have better luck trying to break out from Alcatraz by digging your way out...with a toothpick.
The distance between the outside wall and where I am is so wide that it would be faster if you circled the earth...as a paraplegic... without your wheelchair... terminally ill with lung cancer.
It's the ultimate defense.
So what makes you so different?
You're different because... in my mind, where these walls exist, where I'm in a room where no one has ever stepped foot before... not my family, not my exes, not any of my friends have seen the inside of this room...
But in my mind... you're there... with me.
Telling me that I'm okay, pulling me away from these shackles that we call insecurity.
And I'm amazed that she did not find a monster inside the room, but a friend.
A friend who has been inside that isolation unit for so long, with his insecurity his only company... He's clung onto her, he's become attached.
But that doesn't erase what his past has put him through.
He's scared, he's... anxious. He's unsure.
Making another mistake is something that will definitely close that gap that she managed to find. Because my walls are unbreachable.
Somehow, you've given me the atmosphere that I use to be all too familiar with.
I let my guard down.
You slipped right past that wall.
And if my past came back to haunt me with this new and yet too familiar situation...
I'd blame myself.
For letting my guard down.
I hope you understand the risk I'm taking here...for you.
So what makes you different?
What makes you so different from the others that I've let my guard down in front of?
What differentiates you from the ones that slipped past my defence and stabbed the monster inside?
What makes it different is that I wanted to let my guard down.
Because I'm sick of putting up these walls, just to avoid the hurt, the pain, the emotional tail that follows friendships.
Because, to be honest, I thought you were cute but I didn't let my walls see through just because of that.
Nor does it revolve around that reason.
Because something inside me told me to let you into who I really am.
Because something about you has brought back who I use to be, with a hint of how I am now.
Because for the first time in years, I've let someone know who I am, on the inside.
Something about you made me feel...safe.
I let my guard down, and I'm slowly coming out of my shell.
I feel vulnerable around you.
I feel attached.
I hate it.
But my hate for feeling vulnerable is nothing compared to the smile that I hide from you when I'm around you.
And I hope that feeling never becomes different.
Cuz you see, I've placed walls that are stacked so high, no one was suppose to see the very top of it.
Not even if you stand right under it and not even if you stood three hundred kilometers away from it.
It's stacked so high that if I made these imaginary walls into something that reality can see...
It would climb higher than the skies could reach, higher than any satellite orbiting the sky, higher than logically possible.
That it would not only disrupt the orbit of Mars, but get past the asteroid belt, hit Jupiter, break off Saturn's rings, fix the spin of Uranus, and hit the blue mass that we call Neptune.
And it wouldn't stop there.
It'd leave our solar system and fuck up the near by system's rotating orbit.
It's built so high that it would reach the end of the universe.
And that's said with the theory that the universe has no end.
But not only did it hit the wall of the universe, but it broke through and who knows what the fuck is outside the universe.
And if it found itself an entrance to a black hole... it would've found the exit.
I know it's not logical, fuck you science. It's called a metaphor.
You could try and dig under, but these walls are dug in deep.
Dug in so deep that I don't even recall when they were being constructed.
Or how deep the hole was when construction was happening.
These walls are so thick that no atomic bomb could be strong enough to decimate it.
So thick that if you used a drill to try and get through to me, you'd have better luck trying to break out from Alcatraz by digging your way out...with a toothpick.
The distance between the outside wall and where I am is so wide that it would be faster if you circled the earth...as a paraplegic... without your wheelchair... terminally ill with lung cancer.
It's the ultimate defense.
So what makes you so different?
You're different because... in my mind, where these walls exist, where I'm in a room where no one has ever stepped foot before... not my family, not my exes, not any of my friends have seen the inside of this room...
But in my mind... you're there... with me.
Telling me that I'm okay, pulling me away from these shackles that we call insecurity.
And I'm amazed that she did not find a monster inside the room, but a friend.
A friend who has been inside that isolation unit for so long, with his insecurity his only company... He's clung onto her, he's become attached.
But that doesn't erase what his past has put him through.
He's scared, he's... anxious. He's unsure.
Making another mistake is something that will definitely close that gap that she managed to find. Because my walls are unbreachable.
Somehow, you've given me the atmosphere that I use to be all too familiar with.
I let my guard down.
You slipped right past that wall.
And if my past came back to haunt me with this new and yet too familiar situation...
I'd blame myself.
For letting my guard down.
I hope you understand the risk I'm taking here...for you.
So what makes you different?
What makes you so different from the others that I've let my guard down in front of?
What differentiates you from the ones that slipped past my defence and stabbed the monster inside?
What makes it different is that I wanted to let my guard down.
Because I'm sick of putting up these walls, just to avoid the hurt, the pain, the emotional tail that follows friendships.
Because, to be honest, I thought you were cute but I didn't let my walls see through just because of that.
Nor does it revolve around that reason.
Because something inside me told me to let you into who I really am.
Because something about you has brought back who I use to be, with a hint of how I am now.
Because for the first time in years, I've let someone know who I am, on the inside.
Something about you made me feel...safe.
I let my guard down, and I'm slowly coming out of my shell.
I feel vulnerable around you.
I feel attached.
I hate it.
But my hate for feeling vulnerable is nothing compared to the smile that I hide from you when I'm around you.
And I hope that feeling never becomes different.
Focus&Fly.
I need to keep focused.
And get this project lifted off the ground.
But I need food.
I'm starving.
Parents, where are you ! :(
And get this project lifted off the ground.
But I need food.
I'm starving.
Parents, where are you ! :(
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Routine.
Monday - school, night school, homework.
Tuesday - school, go out, bowling, homework.
Wednesday - school, night school, homework.
Thursday - school, go out, homework.
Friday - school, go out.
Saturday - bowling, go out, homework.
Sunday - go out, homework.
motivation, where are you?
determination, must i always rely on you?
perseverance, why do you have to be the one around?
let's keep focused.
ps.
Eric Blair's life is hella interesting. Makes me want to be a writer now. But I'm not letting go of being a photographer <3
Tuesday - school, go out, bowling, homework.
Wednesday - school, night school, homework.
Thursday - school, go out, homework.
Friday - school, go out.
Saturday - bowling, go out, homework.
Sunday - go out, homework.
motivation, where are you?
determination, must i always rely on you?
perseverance, why do you have to be the one around?
let's keep focused.
ps.
Eric Blair's life is hella interesting. Makes me want to be a writer now. But I'm not letting go of being a photographer <3
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Past-time.
Dexter - S2E3
House - up to date
HIMYM - up to date
Bones - rewatching
The Mentalist - rewatching
Fringe - up to date
NCIS - up to date
Supernatural - rewatching
Naruto - up to date
Full Metal Alchemist - up to date
Nabari no ou - Ep 5
yeah, i think that's all.
can't help but think i'm missing something.
House - up to date
HIMYM - up to date
Bones - rewatching
The Mentalist - rewatching
Fringe - up to date
NCIS - up to date
Supernatural - rewatching
Naruto - up to date
Full Metal Alchemist - up to date
Nabari no ou - Ep 5
yeah, i think that's all.
can't help but think i'm missing something.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
How to Break a Man - Vince "Tictac" Ticsay
take away his eyes
no, that'll only make him listen, make him feel past his environment,
make him overlook the horizon and discover what's beyond it,
his mind will intensify, his remaining senses inclining, and and he will see with no eyes.
put a brick wall in front of his blind sight he will work his way around it, over it, or under it,
and he will not break
take away his ears
no that'll make him see with no discrimination,
the world turning revolving and evolving in his position,
he will observe, absorb, and understand with a limitless mind.
he will hear no evil nor good, leaving his limits behind flying over the neutral grounds of wisdom,
and he will not break
take away his strength?
no no for his mind will just grow more powerful beyond its limits,
his intellect will just compensate and work its way through the laws physics,
arithmetic punches and verbal lashings that could destroy a person in pieces, and
he will think and create and destroy soley through his intellect reaching beyond the high infinities of gods
and he will not break
take away his mind
no, for he will only live the simple life of ignorant bliss,
his own stupidity nurturing him from the world's cruel abyss,
his soul maintained in the innocence of morality unaware of mortality his brain will just gain back it's loss of knowledge and
he will not break
so how do you break a man?
you break his heart
the heart that lets him see beyond sight, makes him listen beyond sound, keeps him strong beyond limit, makes him think beyond knowledge.
you take away his heart's passion, the greatest thing his mind, soul and body revolves in,
the definition of his humanity and crush it right between his watered eyes,
and he will not dare seek anything ever again.
and you break his fucking heart
leave him stranded alone in an ocean created by hope with nothing but the company of loneliness,
its soulless whisper of misery will be the only sound he will hear,
and he will wish he could rip his own ears out,
and you break his fucking heart
push him and leave him falling in the bottomless pits of hopeless love, craving for that one hand that could save him from his fate, and he will be weak and pathetic.
his strength will be no avail and its uselessness will only cause him to generate more hate.
and you break his fucking heart
cage him in the darkness alone with the monster called his mind,
and it will chew him alive with the jaws of self-hate and regret, his every second filled with the visions of the past with no love to keep him warm in the coldness of memory.
and you break his fucking heart
how do you break a man
... you break him while falling in love
falling...
falling...
broken..
no, that'll only make him listen, make him feel past his environment,
make him overlook the horizon and discover what's beyond it,
his mind will intensify, his remaining senses inclining, and and he will see with no eyes.
put a brick wall in front of his blind sight he will work his way around it, over it, or under it,
and he will not break
take away his ears
no that'll make him see with no discrimination,
the world turning revolving and evolving in his position,
he will observe, absorb, and understand with a limitless mind.
he will hear no evil nor good, leaving his limits behind flying over the neutral grounds of wisdom,
and he will not break
take away his strength?
no no for his mind will just grow more powerful beyond its limits,
his intellect will just compensate and work its way through the laws physics,
arithmetic punches and verbal lashings that could destroy a person in pieces, and
he will think and create and destroy soley through his intellect reaching beyond the high infinities of gods
and he will not break
take away his mind
no, for he will only live the simple life of ignorant bliss,
his own stupidity nurturing him from the world's cruel abyss,
his soul maintained in the innocence of morality unaware of mortality his brain will just gain back it's loss of knowledge and
he will not break
so how do you break a man?
you break his heart
the heart that lets him see beyond sight, makes him listen beyond sound, keeps him strong beyond limit, makes him think beyond knowledge.
you take away his heart's passion, the greatest thing his mind, soul and body revolves in,
the definition of his humanity and crush it right between his watered eyes,
and he will not dare seek anything ever again.
and you break his fucking heart
leave him stranded alone in an ocean created by hope with nothing but the company of loneliness,
its soulless whisper of misery will be the only sound he will hear,
and he will wish he could rip his own ears out,
and you break his fucking heart
push him and leave him falling in the bottomless pits of hopeless love, craving for that one hand that could save him from his fate, and he will be weak and pathetic.
his strength will be no avail and its uselessness will only cause him to generate more hate.
and you break his fucking heart
cage him in the darkness alone with the monster called his mind,
and it will chew him alive with the jaws of self-hate and regret, his every second filled with the visions of the past with no love to keep him warm in the coldness of memory.
and you break his fucking heart
how do you break a man
... you break him while falling in love
falling...
falling...
broken..
Monday, November 9, 2009
Insecurity.
Am I special?
I'm an infant playing with toys.
A child learning to play the game.
Just a kid living in a virtual world.
A teen challenging the bounderies of his mind.
Just an eighteen year old holding a controller, exploring the realms of the real world.
See, I'm nothing special.
I'm walking through life, aimlessly.
Trying to decipher the maze inside the mind.
Breathless at the wonders of the free world.
I'm just curious, and I act on it.
So, I'm just an infant, playing with toys.
I'm nothing special.
I'm trying to learn to be the perfect person.
Though I'm failing to even come near that goal.
Because perfection does not exist.
But I still strive to be perfect at what I do.
I'm just a child learning to play the game.
I'm nothing close to special.
I pretend everything's a game.
So that when I get hurt, I just restart.
Except I don't start from the beginning.
I start from where I left off,
Pick up the pieces and move forward.
Playing an RPG and my charisma is my strongest attribute.
Use my smile 'cuz it's my strongest magic
And hope to charm an unsuspecting victim.
I'm just a kid living in a virtual world.
I'm nothing, especially not special.
I'm in love with the human mind.
Only using ten percent, I strive to unlock the other ninety.
Einstein discovered math, and they believed he used eleven percent.
Imagine, the possibilities when one's using all one hundred percent.
But I dabble in first hand experiences.
Experiments, figuring out how it works through experiments.
I'm just a teen challenging the bounderies of his mind.
I'm experimenting with your feelings, is that why you think I'm special?
I'm finally eighteen.
Technically legal.
But I'm still childish.
Immature.
Smiling and laughing like a little kid should.
Making jokes, making those around me smile.
An eighteen year old, with an infant's mind.
Eighteen years of age, with a child's attention span.
Eighteenth year since birth, still a kid at heart.
Eighteen years have passed
I've accomplished nothing
I've let a decade and eight years slip by me.
I'm not special!
That's how the world portrays me.
How jobs and careers and schools show me.
I'm nothing, except another face in the street.
Another body in the city.
Another figure in the shadow of the world.
I'm just somebody else.
I'm easily replaced.
So basically, the entire universe tells me I'm not special.
I'm just another human being.
So please, save your "You are special to me," speech for some other sucker.
Because I know the truth.
I'm just another character.
I'm not special...
I'm an infant playing with toys.
A child learning to play the game.
Just a kid living in a virtual world.
A teen challenging the bounderies of his mind.
Just an eighteen year old holding a controller, exploring the realms of the real world.
See, I'm nothing special.
I'm walking through life, aimlessly.
Trying to decipher the maze inside the mind.
Breathless at the wonders of the free world.
I'm just curious, and I act on it.
So, I'm just an infant, playing with toys.
I'm nothing special.
I'm trying to learn to be the perfect person.
Though I'm failing to even come near that goal.
Because perfection does not exist.
But I still strive to be perfect at what I do.
I'm just a child learning to play the game.
I'm nothing close to special.
I pretend everything's a game.
So that when I get hurt, I just restart.
Except I don't start from the beginning.
I start from where I left off,
Pick up the pieces and move forward.
Playing an RPG and my charisma is my strongest attribute.
Use my smile 'cuz it's my strongest magic
And hope to charm an unsuspecting victim.
I'm just a kid living in a virtual world.
I'm nothing, especially not special.
I'm in love with the human mind.
Only using ten percent, I strive to unlock the other ninety.
Einstein discovered math, and they believed he used eleven percent.
Imagine, the possibilities when one's using all one hundred percent.
But I dabble in first hand experiences.
Experiments, figuring out how it works through experiments.
I'm just a teen challenging the bounderies of his mind.
I'm experimenting with your feelings, is that why you think I'm special?
I'm finally eighteen.
Technically legal.
But I'm still childish.
Immature.
Smiling and laughing like a little kid should.
Making jokes, making those around me smile.
An eighteen year old, with an infant's mind.
Eighteen years of age, with a child's attention span.
Eighteenth year since birth, still a kid at heart.
Eighteen years have passed
I've accomplished nothing
I've let a decade and eight years slip by me.
I'm not special!
That's how the world portrays me.
How jobs and careers and schools show me.
I'm nothing, except another face in the street.
Another body in the city.
Another figure in the shadow of the world.
I'm just somebody else.
I'm easily replaced.
So basically, the entire universe tells me I'm not special.
I'm just another human being.
So please, save your "You are special to me," speech for some other sucker.
Because I know the truth.
I'm just another character.
I'm not special...
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Dreams, dreams, dreams.
So I'll give you a quick run down of my dream.
Throughout the whole thing, cute girls would smile at me, and I'd run.
I blame Imn for this because of what he did earlier today. LOL
Anyways, after a while of that, I was on the subway.
Then I got off at University Station, which doesn't exist, I know.
And the platform was above ground so there was a staircase.
Only after a while, the staircase was broken and became a pile of rocks.
And the pile of rocks turned into a slidy-thing that I couldn't grip on.
So I had to slide the rest of the way.
Then, subway going back was about to go, so I ran for it.
Luckily, and for some strange reason, it wasn't the same height as the subway platform I just got off of.
But it was still higher than me, so I had to jump to get in.
I jumped right before the door closed and everyone in the train was smiling and amused at the fact that I did just jump for a subway.
That's pretty much it.
But there's this cute girl that I kept on seeing.
Sigh, I think it's the same one from today.
The one with the white mushroom cap.
Okay, I'm starting to lose all the details.
That's it, I suppose.
Later.
Throughout the whole thing, cute girls would smile at me, and I'd run.
I blame Imn for this because of what he did earlier today. LOL
Anyways, after a while of that, I was on the subway.
Then I got off at University Station, which doesn't exist, I know.
And the platform was above ground so there was a staircase.
Only after a while, the staircase was broken and became a pile of rocks.
And the pile of rocks turned into a slidy-thing that I couldn't grip on.
So I had to slide the rest of the way.
Then, subway going back was about to go, so I ran for it.
Luckily, and for some strange reason, it wasn't the same height as the subway platform I just got off of.
But it was still higher than me, so I had to jump to get in.
I jumped right before the door closed and everyone in the train was smiling and amused at the fact that I did just jump for a subway.
That's pretty much it.
But there's this cute girl that I kept on seeing.
Sigh, I think it's the same one from today.
The one with the white mushroom cap.
Okay, I'm starting to lose all the details.
That's it, I suppose.
Later.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Yellow Submarine.
While I try to finish my ISU,
I just wanted to leave this for you guys.
Beatles FTW.
If you don't know, you fail.
I just wanted to leave this for you guys.
Beatles FTW.
If you don't know, you fail.
Major News!
.lєzαdα,αngelo; nap says (5:15 PM):
i have heard rumours that there's some areas that are open
Alvarado: says (5:15 PM):
really
wow
that better not be true
haha cause thats unfair
.lєzαdα,αngelo; nap says (5:15 PM):
yeah
i'll take my g2
and then you'll take yours
and then we'll burn the motherfucker down!
Alvarado: says (5:15 PM):
hell yeah
haha
.lєzαdα,αngelo; nap says (5:16 PM):
and then some cute asians asks us why we did it, and then we're screwed
Alvarado: says (5:17 PM):
LOL
.lєzαdα,αngelo; nap says (5:18 PM):
Superman's real weakness was not Kryptonite, but in fact, asian girls.
that's why he's never been in Japan.
Alvarado: says (5:19 PM):
HAHA
no wonder no one fought Godzilla
.lєzαdα,αngelo; nap says (5:20 PM):
LMAO word !
With that said,
http://flickr.com/photos/sinematic
fifty new updates for all of you !
i have heard rumours that there's some areas that are open
Alvarado: says (5:15 PM):
really
wow
that better not be true
haha cause thats unfair
.lєzαdα,αngelo; nap says (5:15 PM):
yeah
i'll take my g2
and then you'll take yours
and then we'll burn the motherfucker down!
Alvarado: says (5:15 PM):
hell yeah
haha
.lєzαdα,αngelo; nap says (5:16 PM):
and then some cute asians asks us why we did it, and then we're screwed
Alvarado: says (5:17 PM):
LOL
.lєzαdα,αngelo; nap says (5:18 PM):
Superman's real weakness was not Kryptonite, but in fact, asian girls.
that's why he's never been in Japan.
Alvarado: says (5:19 PM):
HAHA
no wonder no one fought Godzilla
.lєzαdα,αngelo; nap says (5:20 PM):
LMAO word !
With that said,
http://flickr.com/photos/sinematic
fifty new updates for all of you !
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Finish Line.
Slowly but surely, I'll reach the end.
And when it all comes to an end, I'll be wondering how did time slip by me.
What I go through, you may not see it my way, you definitely don't know how I feel.
Put yourself in my shoes? You can't, you'll never see how I think, you'll never feel what I go through. Because I'm not you, I'm different.
So don't belittle my thoughts, I don't need your opinion.
I'm getting tired of you looking down on how I do things.
Just keep your thoughts to yourself, I didn't ask for your opinion.
Certainly not about MY life.
And when it all comes to an end, I'll be wondering how did time slip by me.
What I go through, you may not see it my way, you definitely don't know how I feel.
Put yourself in my shoes? You can't, you'll never see how I think, you'll never feel what I go through. Because I'm not you, I'm different.
So don't belittle my thoughts, I don't need your opinion.
I'm getting tired of you looking down on how I do things.
Just keep your thoughts to yourself, I didn't ask for your opinion.
Certainly not about MY life.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Let's Move On.
Everyone seems to be growing up, moving on.
I guess it's time for me to pack up and move.
There's not much holding me back.
Yeah, let's get out of here.
Next stop, wherever my imagination takes me.
I guess it's time for me to pack up and move.
There's not much holding me back.
Yeah, let's get out of here.
Next stop, wherever my imagination takes me.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Horrible.
My friend keeps telling me I'm horrible on an almost daily basis.
My friend calls me evil at times.
Some people say I'm a very deceitful person.
But I'm human.
I'm also sincere, brutally honest, passionate.
I think those three qualities should outshine my cynical side.
I must admit, I may not be conceited, and sometimes I lack confidence and self esteem, but I am cynical, up to a certain point.
I've gone through a lot, so my kind hearted nature that people keep telling me that I am, which I sometimes disbelieve due to my humble and cynical nature, is hard to reach.
It's buried underneath everything I've gone through.
Also, I've become impatient.
If you don't believe me, I won't waste my time telling you that I really am telling the truth.
I am who I am.
I've accepted myself for who I am.
I'm not going to change for anyone, ever again.
It's a warning, so that when you get close, and you, for some strange reason, fall for me, you'll know what to expect.
Even just befriending me, I don't hide my true colours.
I show them from the first day I'll meet you, to the very last words you'll ever say to me.
I've got trust issues, so you'll have to prove yourself.
I know, you're thinking, who the fuck am I to be saying such things.
If you're thinking that, then... you don't deserve my friendship.
Yes, I said deserve.
I lack self esteem, but I know damn well that I'm a good person.
And that I am worth more than a backstab opportunity waiting to happen.
But if you do manage to pull through, break down all the walls I've placed, walk past every landmine I've planted and look past everything I portray on the outside...
You'll see that inside, lies a soul, who's kind hearted, generous, sincere, honest, passionate, loving, caring, intelligent, interesting, and holds a heart too big for him to hold.
But I promise you, you'll go through hell and back before you ever take a glimpse of that soul, that side of me.
That's why I'm branded as horrible.
My friend calls me evil at times.
Some people say I'm a very deceitful person.
But I'm human.
I'm also sincere, brutally honest, passionate.
I think those three qualities should outshine my cynical side.
I must admit, I may not be conceited, and sometimes I lack confidence and self esteem, but I am cynical, up to a certain point.
I've gone through a lot, so my kind hearted nature that people keep telling me that I am, which I sometimes disbelieve due to my humble and cynical nature, is hard to reach.
It's buried underneath everything I've gone through.
Also, I've become impatient.
If you don't believe me, I won't waste my time telling you that I really am telling the truth.
I am who I am.
I've accepted myself for who I am.
I'm not going to change for anyone, ever again.
It's a warning, so that when you get close, and you, for some strange reason, fall for me, you'll know what to expect.
Even just befriending me, I don't hide my true colours.
I show them from the first day I'll meet you, to the very last words you'll ever say to me.
I've got trust issues, so you'll have to prove yourself.
I know, you're thinking, who the fuck am I to be saying such things.
If you're thinking that, then... you don't deserve my friendship.
Yes, I said deserve.
I lack self esteem, but I know damn well that I'm a good person.
And that I am worth more than a backstab opportunity waiting to happen.
But if you do manage to pull through, break down all the walls I've placed, walk past every landmine I've planted and look past everything I portray on the outside...
You'll see that inside, lies a soul, who's kind hearted, generous, sincere, honest, passionate, loving, caring, intelligent, interesting, and holds a heart too big for him to hold.
But I promise you, you'll go through hell and back before you ever take a glimpse of that soul, that side of me.
That's why I'm branded as horrible.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Flashbacks.
Just listening to some old songs.
Takes me back to a couple years back.
Funny how every song holds a certain memory with it.
I guess that helps, cuz I don't try remembering some things.
Really helps when you need to write something.
EDIT.
What she said really took me back to the days where I'd just write all day.
miss sto domingo says (3:20 AM):
Aww I miss your stories!
Takes me back to a couple years back.
Funny how every song holds a certain memory with it.
I guess that helps, cuz I don't try remembering some things.
Really helps when you need to write something.
EDIT.
What she said really took me back to the days where I'd just write all day.
miss sto domingo says (3:20 AM):
Aww I miss your stories!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Yupp.
This year's been hard,
But at least I know what I am.
And I know where I stand.
I can't say that it's been easy.
But I wouldn't trade what I've been through
Because it's those hardships
That's taken me here.
But at least I know what I am.
And I know where I stand.
I can't say that it's been easy.
But I wouldn't trade what I've been through
Because it's those hardships
That's taken me here.
Write, bitch, right?
The greatest work of art is the mind.
And like all great works of art, understading them is one of the hardest things to do.
Even trying to understand your own mind.
Trying to unravel the hidden passageways within your brain.
Trying to unlock your potential through opening your mind.
Putting myself through the toughest situations, just so that I can better understand the human mind.
My, oh my, what have I done?
I'm making improvements but it's in the wrong field.
I hope tommorow will brighten my mind.
God knows it's been gloomy inside there.
Well, time to use this thinking into better use.
Time to continue Aaron's life story.
Yessuh, I think it's been a while.
And like all great works of art, understading them is one of the hardest things to do.
Even trying to understand your own mind.
Trying to unravel the hidden passageways within your brain.
Trying to unlock your potential through opening your mind.
Putting myself through the toughest situations, just so that I can better understand the human mind.
My, oh my, what have I done?
I'm making improvements but it's in the wrong field.
I hope tommorow will brighten my mind.
God knows it's been gloomy inside there.
Well, time to use this thinking into better use.
Time to continue Aaron's life story.
Yessuh, I think it's been a while.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Hm.
I'm starting to not like what's going on.
Actually, I never did.
But it seems like I just can't get past it.
I'm trying,
I really am,
and I'm starting to hate myself everytime I fail.
It's really hard,
I'm trying to hold on.
I'm trying to pull myself back up.
I'm trying to put myself together again.
I thought I already overcame this entire situation.
I guess not, it was only a temporary fix.
I need to figure this out on my own, again.
I just need to change everything.
Everything has to change.
Everything.
Actually, I never did.
But it seems like I just can't get past it.
I'm trying,
I really am,
and I'm starting to hate myself everytime I fail.
It's really hard,
I'm trying to hold on.
I'm trying to pull myself back up.
I'm trying to put myself together again.
I thought I already overcame this entire situation.
I guess not, it was only a temporary fix.
I need to figure this out on my own, again.
I just need to change everything.
Everything has to change.
Everything.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
I Give Up.
Not even going to explain.
Cuz you won't understand.
You'll tell me shit that I already know.
You're gonna make me feel worse.
You're not helping.
So fuck off.
Fuck it.
I give up.
See you never.
Cuz you won't understand.
You'll tell me shit that I already know.
You're gonna make me feel worse.
You're not helping.
So fuck off.
Fuck it.
I give up.
See you never.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
What Motivates You?
Is it family? Friends? Proving someone wrong?
Whatever motivates you, doesn't motivate me. Because we're different people. So stop trying to use "prove me wrong," as a way to motivate me. I will not go out of my way to change how you think about me, in fact, I don't give a fuck what you think about me.
But I got my motivation, and sometimes, I just forget about them. So FUCK OFF, and give me time to remember.
With that said, I've got an essay to finish, Macbeth to finish reading and an ISU to continue.
Just leave me the fuck alone.
Whatever motivates you, doesn't motivate me. Because we're different people. So stop trying to use "prove me wrong," as a way to motivate me. I will not go out of my way to change how you think about me, in fact, I don't give a fuck what you think about me.
But I got my motivation, and sometimes, I just forget about them. So FUCK OFF, and give me time to remember.
With that said, I've got an essay to finish, Macbeth to finish reading and an ISU to continue.
Just leave me the fuck alone.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Plans.
So, I went to the weathernetwork and this was the first thing I saw on their homepage.
Weather Warning
Frost warning for City of Toronto
And it's only October! Can you see the oddness in that weather warning? We've experienced the worst of weathers we can possibly imagine. Not as worse as my fellow Filipinos back home, please pray for them, but it's insane! We've had thunderstorms, tornados, hail, crazy wind, lightning, thunder, and now a frost warning?! All before November?!
Wow, total loaft on this blogpost. Draft autosaved at 1:45 AM, it's currently 2:48AM. Good job youtube. LOL
Okay, so aside from my weather rant, I think this year, what's left of `09, and `10 will be the year when I'll be pushing towards producing what I've wanted. `09 was sort of the thinking process, confirming this is what I really want, and setting up some connections for certain things, don't worry, none of them are illegal. As you know, photography is my passion and my fam from egotistic productions have helped me fuel that for the past year. Ever since Feb 01, I've been learning and hopefully improving in becoming one of the upcoming local photographers. I'm trying to make it big you guys. Become a famous photographer, a photographer at some of the high end fashion scenes, become an overseas journalist or one of my biggest hope is that I'll be taking pictures for National Geographic and things like that. With that said, I'm going to make `10 (it sounds so weird when you read ten, rather than oh nine) the biggest move from local photographer to a region photographer. Work my way out of high school, as I hope that this is going to be my last year in high school, and get into an art school for applied photography so I can work towards getting my bachelors/masters in art & photography. Even if I don't get accepted towards the program I wish to get into, I will not give up photography. It's my passion, I can't let what I love to do go. Even writing's still a part of my life, though not so much creative writing. But blogging still counts as a way to show my love for english. Excuse my spelling and bad grammar. I do have backup choices if fate doesn't hand over photography as soon as I wish it to. Sociology, Psychology, Anthropology, Philosophy are also areas that I'm looking into.
Again, total blankness on this post, five minutes only this time haha.
With all that said, I think I'm going to post on the Egotistic Productions site. Okay, continue the read at
http://egotisticproductions.blogspot.com/
Hope to see you there!
Weather Warning
Frost warning for City of Toronto
And it's only October! Can you see the oddness in that weather warning? We've experienced the worst of weathers we can possibly imagine. Not as worse as my fellow Filipinos back home, please pray for them, but it's insane! We've had thunderstorms, tornados, hail, crazy wind, lightning, thunder, and now a frost warning?! All before November?!
Wow, total loaft on this blogpost. Draft autosaved at 1:45 AM, it's currently 2:48AM. Good job youtube. LOL
Okay, so aside from my weather rant, I think this year, what's left of `09, and `10 will be the year when I'll be pushing towards producing what I've wanted. `09 was sort of the thinking process, confirming this is what I really want, and setting up some connections for certain things, don't worry, none of them are illegal. As you know, photography is my passion and my fam from egotistic productions have helped me fuel that for the past year. Ever since Feb 01, I've been learning and hopefully improving in becoming one of the upcoming local photographers. I'm trying to make it big you guys. Become a famous photographer, a photographer at some of the high end fashion scenes, become an overseas journalist or one of my biggest hope is that I'll be taking pictures for National Geographic and things like that. With that said, I'm going to make `10 (it sounds so weird when you read ten, rather than oh nine) the biggest move from local photographer to a region photographer. Work my way out of high school, as I hope that this is going to be my last year in high school, and get into an art school for applied photography so I can work towards getting my bachelors/masters in art & photography. Even if I don't get accepted towards the program I wish to get into, I will not give up photography. It's my passion, I can't let what I love to do go. Even writing's still a part of my life, though not so much creative writing. But blogging still counts as a way to show my love for english. Excuse my spelling and bad grammar. I do have backup choices if fate doesn't hand over photography as soon as I wish it to. Sociology, Psychology, Anthropology, Philosophy are also areas that I'm looking into.
Again, total blankness on this post, five minutes only this time haha.
With all that said, I think I'm going to post on the Egotistic Productions site. Okay, continue the read at
http://egotisticproductions.blogspot.com/
Hope to see you there!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Insight.
So Aaron Cruz is like my fictional character in my story. When I write, I feel like the stories I weave are real. Therefore, in my mind, Aaron Cruz exists. Am I crazy? Partially. I prefer to be categorized as different, unique, a new breed of writing. Anyways.
The more we go into this, the less we talk. I'm starting to feel like you were right all along and trying to prove you wrong would just end up in me falling flat on my face. So, I'll let the world decide our fate.
Hm, what else.
Go to sleep Kim Liban!
I'm awkward around girls!
LOL hella random.
I'm in need of some sociological insight into certain kinds of people, psychological and anthropological wise too.
Oh, btw, Waking Up is under construction in a sense of it WILL BECOME A SHORT FILM :)
Iris needs to be let out real soon.
and I'm hoping to get some of my creativity let out soon
And last but not least. Aaron Cruz, you're a slick character. Stop hiding from me, I must tell your story.
As an author, my characters come to life. But does that make me crazy, to refer to them as real people?
Okay, it's decided. If I don't get into photography, I'm getting into either Social Worker, Anthropologist, Psycologist, or Sociologist. Done deal !
The mind is the greatest work of art in the history of the universe.
Kay, goodnight.
Sweet dreams,
Kim Liban
Cuz I know you're reading this. LOL
The more we go into this, the less we talk. I'm starting to feel like you were right all along and trying to prove you wrong would just end up in me falling flat on my face. So, I'll let the world decide our fate.
Hm, what else.
Go to sleep Kim Liban!
I'm awkward around girls!
LOL hella random.
I'm in need of some sociological insight into certain kinds of people, psychological and anthropological wise too.
Oh, btw, Waking Up is under construction in a sense of it WILL BECOME A SHORT FILM :)
Iris needs to be let out real soon.
and I'm hoping to get some of my creativity let out soon
And last but not least. Aaron Cruz, you're a slick character. Stop hiding from me, I must tell your story.
As an author, my characters come to life. But does that make me crazy, to refer to them as real people?
Okay, it's decided. If I don't get into photography, I'm getting into either Social Worker, Anthropologist, Psycologist, or Sociologist. Done deal !
The mind is the greatest work of art in the history of the universe.
Kay, goodnight.
Sweet dreams,
Kim Liban
Cuz I know you're reading this. LOL
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Sigh.
I'm stressed. So I figure I'd let some of that out through this. Seeing as nothing else has remotely worked. Okay, let's start off with school. Nothing's the problem, everything's going good, for once. Trying to keep it like that but I'm not sure if it'll stay like that for long. I've been stressed, and I took a day off today to relax and take some time for myself. I'm starting to slowly walk back into that state where I was six months ago.
As you may or may not know, I just turned eighteen almost a month ago. As great as it is, finally being able to buy lottery and being considered legal, it really isn't that much different. I feel the stress more and I think I'm just suppose to bear with it and do what I can. No more complaining, asking for help, because I'm eighteen. I gotta hold my own, because the future only gets harder. I'm glad for those who are there for me, never going to take them for granted. And with that said, I couldn't have asked for better friends or family. These past eighteen years have been nothing but a great learning experience and I'm blessed to have such wonderful people surrounding me. Thanks.
I think I'm more self aware now. I think... I'm going through more than I realize. But it's good to know I have people to count on.
I think...he's catching feelings for her. If he does like her, and she likes him back, I don't think he's going to ask her out. I think he'd just want to keep their friendship where it is, and wouldn't want to ruin a great thing. I told him that's the smart thing to do, I hope he listens. You hear that? I know you're reading this. I HOPE YOUR LISTENING TO ME.
Uhm, comment on my pictures at alezada0920.mpchallenge.com It's a metro photography competition. I gave it my all, handed in my best work IMO. And all I can do now is hope that my work is noticed by the judges. If they don't notice it, no biggie. I know I'm talented, and I won't let a simple competition put me down. I'm just gonna work harder to get even better and take next year by storm.
Okay, that's enough blogging.
School, life, photo, writing, it's so hard to balance you all. But I'm trying.
Until next time !
As you may or may not know, I just turned eighteen almost a month ago. As great as it is, finally being able to buy lottery and being considered legal, it really isn't that much different. I feel the stress more and I think I'm just suppose to bear with it and do what I can. No more complaining, asking for help, because I'm eighteen. I gotta hold my own, because the future only gets harder. I'm glad for those who are there for me, never going to take them for granted. And with that said, I couldn't have asked for better friends or family. These past eighteen years have been nothing but a great learning experience and I'm blessed to have such wonderful people surrounding me. Thanks.
I think I'm more self aware now. I think... I'm going through more than I realize. But it's good to know I have people to count on.
I think...he's catching feelings for her. If he does like her, and she likes him back, I don't think he's going to ask her out. I think he'd just want to keep their friendship where it is, and wouldn't want to ruin a great thing. I told him that's the smart thing to do, I hope he listens. You hear that? I know you're reading this. I HOPE YOUR LISTENING TO ME.
Uhm, comment on my pictures at alezada0920.mpchallenge.com It's a metro photography competition. I gave it my all, handed in my best work IMO. And all I can do now is hope that my work is noticed by the judges. If they don't notice it, no biggie. I know I'm talented, and I won't let a simple competition put me down. I'm just gonna work harder to get even better and take next year by storm.
Okay, that's enough blogging.
School, life, photo, writing, it's so hard to balance you all. But I'm trying.
Until next time !
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Life's Mysteries - Introduction
My story follows the life of Aaron. I'll portray Aaron fighting against his addictions and psychological occurdences that disturb his daily life. Suffering from an inability to grasp reality and the creation of his own mind merging with what he thinks is real, he begins to lose his grip on reality. Looking for professional aid, he encounters characters that push him to his limit. His hope is that he overcomes this psychological dilemna and can live his life normally.
So this is the background story into my ISU that I'm doing for english, hope you look forward to it ! :)
So this is the background story into my ISU that I'm doing for english, hope you look forward to it ! :)
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Confused.
what i want is something so surreal
So unthinkable
I don't think it's even possible for me to find it in this lifetime.
What i yearn for is something possible,
And yet it feels like it's out of my reach.
What i want is perfection
But how do i find perfection when I myself am not perfect?
I am not satisfied with my best efforts
But I give up oh so easily.
What is one to do?
I'm so confused.
So unthinkable
I don't think it's even possible for me to find it in this lifetime.
What i yearn for is something possible,
And yet it feels like it's out of my reach.
What i want is perfection
But how do i find perfection when I myself am not perfect?
I am not satisfied with my best efforts
But I give up oh so easily.
What is one to do?
I'm so confused.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Human.
Our success lasts for a while
But failure scars you forever
--------------------------------
I have goals
I have dreams
I have hopes
I have faith
I feel pain
I feel jealousy
I feel envy
I feel hurt
I know love
I know hate
I know loneliness
I know passion
I am smart
I am passionate
I am honest
I am human
What hurts us, makes us stronger.
What breaks us, stirs our passion.
What pains us, gives us life.
Our flaws makes us unique.
Where we fail, defines our humanity.
Where we succeed, defines our weakness.
Because imperfection is being humane.
Humanity is about imperfection.
Being imperfect makes us perfect.
Just my two cents.
But failure scars you forever
--------------------------------
I have goals
I have dreams
I have hopes
I have faith
I feel pain
I feel jealousy
I feel envy
I feel hurt
I know love
I know hate
I know loneliness
I know passion
I am smart
I am passionate
I am honest
I am human
What hurts us, makes us stronger.
What breaks us, stirs our passion.
What pains us, gives us life.
Our flaws makes us unique.
Where we fail, defines our humanity.
Where we succeed, defines our weakness.
Because imperfection is being humane.
Humanity is about imperfection.
Being imperfect makes us perfect.
Just my two cents.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
You.
You're concieted as fuck, but you've got self-esteem issues.
You know you're not the best person, yet you act like you are.
You know she deserves better, so you act like there is no one better.
You know you're not the best person, yet you act like you are.
You know she deserves better, so you act like there is no one better.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Tim Gunn!
He's officially in the list of people I HAVE TO MEET. :)
And someone I idolize, not because he's a well reknowned fashionista, but also because he's so upfront and blunt and the way he is.
Tim Gunn, I wish I could photograph your work :(
And someone I idolize, not because he's a well reknowned fashionista, but also because he's so upfront and blunt and the way he is.
Tim Gunn, I wish I could photograph your work :(
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Story Starter
He wished the phone would stop ringing. It’s been a week since he broke up with Ally. It’s as if she refused to believe that he actually broke up with her. They’ve been together for almost two years, but Aaron felt like he was missing a lot in life. Whenever he’d go to parties, he would have a conscience that would prevent him from making out with a girl he had just met. Over the last seven months, he had found out things about Ally that would make any self respecting boyfriend to break up with his girlfriend. Many people often wondered why Aaron would give Ally so many undeserving chances.
“You have three unheard messages, check unheard messages; press one.” Only three? She’s called over fifteen times and she only left three? Hesitant, he pressed one. “First message, ‘Aaron, I know you didn’t mean those things you said. I know I’ve said some things and I’m not the best girlfriend, but I love you, I care for you. Please, call me back so we can talk about this. We can make this work,’” Aaron pressed the number seven key, “Message deleted. Second message, ‘Aaron, I’m really sorry for everything, I know now how much—‘message deleted.”
Aaron was about to hang up, she’s been calling nonstop for the past two days but he figured he might as well delete the last message. “Third message, ‘Is this Aaron?’” It was a different voice; he was startled because he was expecting his ex-girlfriends. “’This is Elsa, from Chemistry third period? Our professor gave me your phone number. I was wondering if you still needed a partner...” Aaron’s mind stopped paying attention to the recorded message. He was trying to figure out who she was. Her name sounded familiar, but he had never looked at anyone when he was with Ally, not that he needed to. Ally was every guy’s dream girl, physically of course. But that’s not why he started dating her. He went out with her because she was interesting, different, independent and unique. But ever since summer, she became clingy, paranoid and dependant. She would be mad at him for talking to other girls, make a scene when a girl would attract his attention at the mall, and would ignore him for weeks when he forgot to call. She had him on a strict leash, but he endured it, until, of course, the day of their breakup, “...so call me back when you can. Thanks.” Aaron called her back without giving it a second thought.
Time flew by and it’s been over a year since Aaron broke up with Ally. He hasn’t had a missed call from Ally in a while and he was getting closer to Elsa. He even suspected that Elsa might have been attracted to him, but he placed that silly notion behind him. You’re just being too confident now, he would remind himself.
“What’s wrong Aaron?” Elsa and Aaron would spend most of their time together, studying or just hanging out. Today, they’re just sitting at a park bench, enjoying the view. Aaron enjoyed his time with Elsa but there was something about Elsa that reminded him of Ally, the way she talked, the way she thinks about things, the way she reacts to certain conversations. Elsa seemed to be too similar to Ally. He would’ve asked Elsa out if it wasn’t for that.
“Oh nothing, did I tell you how you remind me of my ex-girlfriend?” He found himself shocked that those words came out of his mouth.
“Really? So that means I’m your type?” She was trying to hide her cheeks turning rosy red.
“Why are you blushing for?” Aaron took that blush to confirm she was attracted to him.
“I think it’s quite obvious, don’t you?” Now he knew he wasn’t just being confident. But how was he supposed to let her know that he’s still not ready? After what Ally placed him through, he didn’t think he can ever trust someone at that intimate level.
“I don’t want a relationship...with you.” Again, Aaron found himself bewildered at what he just said. It’s as if his mind didn’t even want to sugar coat what he’s about to say.
“What?” She moved away from him. She didn’t know how to react. No one’s ever said that to her. “Do you not find me attractive?”
“You’re beautiful, but I just don’t think we should be in a relationship together.”
“Why not!” She was starting to cause a scene, and even though it was at the park, there were a lot of people walking by.
“Because, I told you, you remind me of my ex-girlfriend!”
“What’s wrong with Ally? She may have cheated on you, but she’s miserable when you’re not around! She loves you...”
“Elsa... how did you know Ally cheated on me? I never told you how we broke up. In fact, I’ve never mentioned her name to you.” Elsa looked like she was searching her brain for an answer, but Aaron was freaked out. He has never talked about Ally to Elsa, let alone why they broke up. “Elsa, answer me! How do you know that?”
“You... you told me.” She was stuttering, her eyes were desperate to find a more solid answer. Aaron’s eyes widened like he just solved a cold case with finding the final clue right in front of him. He fell quiet and stared at the horizon. “Aaron?” He flashed a smile and chuckled.
“I never did get over you, Ally.”
*wrote this for my english homework. I had to start the story with the first sentence that the story started with.*
“You have three unheard messages, check unheard messages; press one.” Only three? She’s called over fifteen times and she only left three? Hesitant, he pressed one. “First message, ‘Aaron, I know you didn’t mean those things you said. I know I’ve said some things and I’m not the best girlfriend, but I love you, I care for you. Please, call me back so we can talk about this. We can make this work,’” Aaron pressed the number seven key, “Message deleted. Second message, ‘Aaron, I’m really sorry for everything, I know now how much—‘message deleted.”
Aaron was about to hang up, she’s been calling nonstop for the past two days but he figured he might as well delete the last message. “Third message, ‘Is this Aaron?’” It was a different voice; he was startled because he was expecting his ex-girlfriends. “’This is Elsa, from Chemistry third period? Our professor gave me your phone number. I was wondering if you still needed a partner...” Aaron’s mind stopped paying attention to the recorded message. He was trying to figure out who she was. Her name sounded familiar, but he had never looked at anyone when he was with Ally, not that he needed to. Ally was every guy’s dream girl, physically of course. But that’s not why he started dating her. He went out with her because she was interesting, different, independent and unique. But ever since summer, she became clingy, paranoid and dependant. She would be mad at him for talking to other girls, make a scene when a girl would attract his attention at the mall, and would ignore him for weeks when he forgot to call. She had him on a strict leash, but he endured it, until, of course, the day of their breakup, “...so call me back when you can. Thanks.” Aaron called her back without giving it a second thought.
Time flew by and it’s been over a year since Aaron broke up with Ally. He hasn’t had a missed call from Ally in a while and he was getting closer to Elsa. He even suspected that Elsa might have been attracted to him, but he placed that silly notion behind him. You’re just being too confident now, he would remind himself.
“What’s wrong Aaron?” Elsa and Aaron would spend most of their time together, studying or just hanging out. Today, they’re just sitting at a park bench, enjoying the view. Aaron enjoyed his time with Elsa but there was something about Elsa that reminded him of Ally, the way she talked, the way she thinks about things, the way she reacts to certain conversations. Elsa seemed to be too similar to Ally. He would’ve asked Elsa out if it wasn’t for that.
“Oh nothing, did I tell you how you remind me of my ex-girlfriend?” He found himself shocked that those words came out of his mouth.
“Really? So that means I’m your type?” She was trying to hide her cheeks turning rosy red.
“Why are you blushing for?” Aaron took that blush to confirm she was attracted to him.
“I think it’s quite obvious, don’t you?” Now he knew he wasn’t just being confident. But how was he supposed to let her know that he’s still not ready? After what Ally placed him through, he didn’t think he can ever trust someone at that intimate level.
“I don’t want a relationship...with you.” Again, Aaron found himself bewildered at what he just said. It’s as if his mind didn’t even want to sugar coat what he’s about to say.
“What?” She moved away from him. She didn’t know how to react. No one’s ever said that to her. “Do you not find me attractive?”
“You’re beautiful, but I just don’t think we should be in a relationship together.”
“Why not!” She was starting to cause a scene, and even though it was at the park, there were a lot of people walking by.
“Because, I told you, you remind me of my ex-girlfriend!”
“What’s wrong with Ally? She may have cheated on you, but she’s miserable when you’re not around! She loves you...”
“Elsa... how did you know Ally cheated on me? I never told you how we broke up. In fact, I’ve never mentioned her name to you.” Elsa looked like she was searching her brain for an answer, but Aaron was freaked out. He has never talked about Ally to Elsa, let alone why they broke up. “Elsa, answer me! How do you know that?”
“You... you told me.” She was stuttering, her eyes were desperate to find a more solid answer. Aaron’s eyes widened like he just solved a cold case with finding the final clue right in front of him. He fell quiet and stared at the horizon. “Aaron?” He flashed a smile and chuckled.
“I never did get over you, Ally.”
*wrote this for my english homework. I had to start the story with the first sentence that the story started with.*
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Words of Wisdom?
she said (12:21 AM):
help ya get the girl you want
and im saying this as a friend btw
you come off as to easy
dont let girls know
you want them
like little jokes like that
cause they know its not a joke\
next
she said (12:22 AM):
if you keep asking the girl if she misses you or likes you
then she might get turned off cause it gets irritating
she said (12:23 AM):
if she misses you\
she will tell you
and last but not least
girls like the chase
even though we say we hate it
secretly we love it
love how we can't get that guy
\
she said (12:24 AM):
nothinng against you
.lєzαdα,αngelo; hmwrk says (12:25 AM):
haha,
.lєzαdα,αngelo; hmwrk says (12:26 AM):
interesting.
she said (12:26 AM):
i know
trust
youll get so many girls
if you follow that
help ya get the girl you want
and im saying this as a friend btw
you come off as to easy
dont let girls know
you want them
like little jokes like that
cause they know its not a joke\
next
she said (12:22 AM):
if you keep asking the girl if she misses you or likes you
then she might get turned off cause it gets irritating
she said (12:23 AM):
if she misses you\
she will tell you
and last but not least
girls like the chase
even though we say we hate it
secretly we love it
love how we can't get that guy
\
she said (12:24 AM):
nothinng against you
.lєzαdα,αngelo; hmwrk says (12:25 AM):
haha,
.lєzαdα,αngelo; hmwrk says (12:26 AM):
interesting.
she said (12:26 AM):
i know
trust
youll get so many girls
if you follow that
Libraries are fun !
Find me in the library studying,
Or out in the streets hustling
Making a living, hella focused now.
I only have myself to blame if it all falls down
But it wont, I've lifted off, I ain't going back down.
Cuz I've touched the sky, and I don't see the ground
All I see is clouds, and that's how it's gonna stay.
I'm reaching my goals, I don't care what you have to say.
Got my eyes on the prize, I'm leaving you behind.
And your lies can't hide me from claiming what's mine.
Say what you want, it'll fuel my determination.
I don't care what you say, like a terrorist interrogation.
Or out in the streets hustling
Making a living, hella focused now.
I only have myself to blame if it all falls down
But it wont, I've lifted off, I ain't going back down.
Cuz I've touched the sky, and I don't see the ground
All I see is clouds, and that's how it's gonna stay.
I'm reaching my goals, I don't care what you have to say.
Got my eyes on the prize, I'm leaving you behind.
And your lies can't hide me from claiming what's mine.
Say what you want, it'll fuel my determination.
I don't care what you say, like a terrorist interrogation.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Schoool!
So I've been busy with school lately.
I actually didn't do much homework today.
I wasn't in the writing mood.
On the bright side, I have english this semester.
And most of the work involves creativity and imagination.
My forte, I suppose.
Anyways, for now, I'll post up my work that I've submitted (not homework, but poetry and whatnots when my class gets to that chapter)
BUT I did hand in Waking Up for my first short story. I got a 20/20 from it and my teacher thought it was a well written story. But I got deducted two marks for not following rules. So I ended up with an 18/20. I forgot to double space and my work was over the 2-4 pages limit. But I'll pay that two point deduction for a chance for people to read my work.
Anyways, Goodnight world.
I actually didn't do much homework today.
I wasn't in the writing mood.
On the bright side, I have english this semester.
And most of the work involves creativity and imagination.
My forte, I suppose.
Anyways, for now, I'll post up my work that I've submitted (not homework, but poetry and whatnots when my class gets to that chapter)
BUT I did hand in Waking Up for my first short story. I got a 20/20 from it and my teacher thought it was a well written story. But I got deducted two marks for not following rules. So I ended up with an 18/20. I forgot to double space and my work was over the 2-4 pages limit. But I'll pay that two point deduction for a chance for people to read my work.
Anyways, Goodnight world.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Time's Ticking.
I'm affectionate, but you're starting to get on my nerves.
Seriosuly, I'm getting sick of putting more effort than you.
Real talks, you're time's ticking.
Seriosuly, I'm getting sick of putting more effort than you.
Real talks, you're time's ticking.
Monday, September 7, 2009
FYI
If you're looking for a man to hold you down
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a guy to flatter you
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a person to be there for you all the time
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a human being who's nice and kind
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a person to talk to about life
I'm not that person
Because I'm not a person
I'm something else.
I'm me.
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a guy to flatter you
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a person to be there for you all the time
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a human being who's nice and kind
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a person to talk to about life
I'm not that person
Because I'm not a person
I'm something else.
I'm me.
Muskoka
Just got back from there, I gotta admit, it's pretty chill there. Might wanna go cottage-ing there with friends next year.
I just wanted to tell you guys, whoever still reads this, that yes, I'm still alive. I'm working (kinda) on three albums of photos, so look forward to that. But on a random note.
"It's hard dating a slut, just ask my girlfriend."
Kaythxbai.
I just wanted to tell you guys, whoever still reads this, that yes, I'm still alive. I'm working (kinda) on three albums of photos, so look forward to that. But on a random note.
"It's hard dating a slut, just ask my girlfriend."
Kaythxbai.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Two Years.
Two years of my life went by
And this right here, is a testimony that time does fly by.
Looking back through pictures, reminding myself
Those who were there and who stayed around to help
From my days at ward, to libermann, to fraiser and now
Wondering how did 730 days fly by without me hearing a sound
From the ground's perspective, nothing's changed.
If it wasn't for pictures, I wouldn't have noticed my physical features been rearranged.
From my hairstyle to my clothing wear, to the glasses I need
To the way I speak, the people I meet and what I believe.
To my hopes and dreams, goals and my future for when I'm grown
But at least now, I'm sure that I'll do good on my own.
From the crew I chill with, to the boys I kick with
From the way I think, to the way I spit.
I've changed, and it's laughable how
I always said I'll never be that, look at me now.
From a nice guy, to a flirt, to a falling for the wrong types
To a heart breaking motherfucker, to a I can get any girl hype
From a I'm not good enough to I'm too cute for that chick
From a I hope she'll chill with me, to a there's too many of them on my dick
From a ride or die kinda guy to a don't bring your fucking drama here
But I'll still ride or die for family, that's still the same from two years.
From a nerdy child, eager to learn and looking forward to his career
It was worthwhile, to learn to burn and handle a few beers.
I still know where I'm heading, I havent lost sight
But now, I can say that I'll actually put up a fight.
I'm a different man, not a kid anymore, all grown up.
An indifferent man, who don't kid anymore, life's been tough.
I'm not as caring as I use to be, I actually don't give a fuck.
And I'm not acting tough, sometimes, I just don't give a fuck.
I'm more passionate, believer in fate, and I do fuck around.
But I'm more caring, especially those who's still holding me down.
You know who you are, it's been a long motherfucking journey.
From the minute we met, who knew we'd end up chilling like family.
Egotistic Productions, all day, don't sleep on us now.
That's family right there, two years in the making, we're world bound.
Perfecting our skills like the blades ninjas assassinate with
We growing big, growing up, you better know who you're fucking with.
SINematic
07-09
Egotistic Productions
Two years in the making.
We're working on it.
And this right here, is a testimony that time does fly by.
Looking back through pictures, reminding myself
Those who were there and who stayed around to help
From my days at ward, to libermann, to fraiser and now
Wondering how did 730 days fly by without me hearing a sound
From the ground's perspective, nothing's changed.
If it wasn't for pictures, I wouldn't have noticed my physical features been rearranged.
From my hairstyle to my clothing wear, to the glasses I need
To the way I speak, the people I meet and what I believe.
To my hopes and dreams, goals and my future for when I'm grown
But at least now, I'm sure that I'll do good on my own.
From the crew I chill with, to the boys I kick with
From the way I think, to the way I spit.
I've changed, and it's laughable how
I always said I'll never be that, look at me now.
From a nice guy, to a flirt, to a falling for the wrong types
To a heart breaking motherfucker, to a I can get any girl hype
From a I'm not good enough to I'm too cute for that chick
From a I hope she'll chill with me, to a there's too many of them on my dick
From a ride or die kinda guy to a don't bring your fucking drama here
But I'll still ride or die for family, that's still the same from two years.
From a nerdy child, eager to learn and looking forward to his career
It was worthwhile, to learn to burn and handle a few beers.
I still know where I'm heading, I havent lost sight
But now, I can say that I'll actually put up a fight.
I'm a different man, not a kid anymore, all grown up.
An indifferent man, who don't kid anymore, life's been tough.
I'm not as caring as I use to be, I actually don't give a fuck.
And I'm not acting tough, sometimes, I just don't give a fuck.
I'm more passionate, believer in fate, and I do fuck around.
But I'm more caring, especially those who's still holding me down.
You know who you are, it's been a long motherfucking journey.
From the minute we met, who knew we'd end up chilling like family.
Egotistic Productions, all day, don't sleep on us now.
That's family right there, two years in the making, we're world bound.
Perfecting our skills like the blades ninjas assassinate with
We growing big, growing up, you better know who you're fucking with.
SINematic
07-09
Egotistic Productions
Two years in the making.
We're working on it.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
What's really good?
Summer is coming to an end, and I'll be spending the rest of my summer in a cottage. I'm kinda excited, I'm hoping to do all the things that I barely get to do, like fishing or canoe-ing.
But today, I went out to take pictures of Beautee's dance crew. I must admit, a lot of them ended up pretty dope. I think I'm going to have a hard time picking which ones not to upload.
I'm kinda sad that I havne't done any writing lately. I think I'm loafting on that creative outlet of mine. Don't worry, I'll be back on it real soon.
But on the bright side, I'm going to end up spending a whole week with Iris. <3
*eighteleven <3
But today, I went out to take pictures of Beautee's dance crew. I must admit, a lot of them ended up pretty dope. I think I'm going to have a hard time picking which ones not to upload.
I'm kinda sad that I havne't done any writing lately. I think I'm loafting on that creative outlet of mine. Don't worry, I'll be back on it real soon.
But on the bright side, I'm going to end up spending a whole week with Iris. <3
*eighteleven <3
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Me Too.
She said ; "she doesn't know what she wants..."
I replied ; "you want perfection, but you don't know what perfection is, therefore, you don't know what you want."
I feel the same way.
I replied ; "you want perfection, but you don't know what perfection is, therefore, you don't know what you want."
I feel the same way.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Conversation with i
I write to give my creativity a voice,
I fight against what seemingly looks like better choice,
And despite all the negativity, I'm sticking with my choice.
Because I've surgically removed that inside noise.
That prideful voice that keeps me on the path to heaven.
It's like I'm playing Russian roulette and I'm number seven.
I can't lose, yet I know I don't want to win.
But I've already called the bet, and the other gambler called all in.
Called his bluff, that's another player out,
But I'm not done until my luck heads south.
Or I win it all, there's no going back now.
But my decisions aren't my own because karma around.
Karma's my bestfriend, she's got me on speed dial.
But I thought we lost contact, she hasn't called in a while.
I've changed, yet Karma wants me to stay the same.
But Guilt is alive and is still in the assassinating game.
It's plain to see that I'm trying to keep away
From Karma, and everything she has to say.
Stay away from temptation, retire my jersey.
I thought that retirement would be the key.
But Karma's testing me, proving I'm still the same.
And I know that if I give in, I'll be the one to blame.
But I know I'm stronger, I know I can last.
It's just that, if you look at my past,
My record is short of perfection like oompa loompas.
Girl hopping quickly like Mario hopping on goombas.
Breaking innocence like Usain Bolt breaking records.
Everyone wished me luck in my endeavor.
Left when I was severed, hoping to come back in one piece.
Mastering the way to find that inner peace, tamed that evil beast.
The monstrosity that has me considering temptation.
That has me walking towards my own obliteration.
What do I do now.
I can't do anything, because I'm already hell bound.
I fight against what seemingly looks like better choice,
And despite all the negativity, I'm sticking with my choice.
Because I've surgically removed that inside noise.
That prideful voice that keeps me on the path to heaven.
It's like I'm playing Russian roulette and I'm number seven.
I can't lose, yet I know I don't want to win.
But I've already called the bet, and the other gambler called all in.
Called his bluff, that's another player out,
But I'm not done until my luck heads south.
Or I win it all, there's no going back now.
But my decisions aren't my own because karma around.
Karma's my bestfriend, she's got me on speed dial.
But I thought we lost contact, she hasn't called in a while.
I've changed, yet Karma wants me to stay the same.
But Guilt is alive and is still in the assassinating game.
It's plain to see that I'm trying to keep away
From Karma, and everything she has to say.
Stay away from temptation, retire my jersey.
I thought that retirement would be the key.
But Karma's testing me, proving I'm still the same.
And I know that if I give in, I'll be the one to blame.
But I know I'm stronger, I know I can last.
It's just that, if you look at my past,
My record is short of perfection like oompa loompas.
Girl hopping quickly like Mario hopping on goombas.
Breaking innocence like Usain Bolt breaking records.
Everyone wished me luck in my endeavor.
Left when I was severed, hoping to come back in one piece.
Mastering the way to find that inner peace, tamed that evil beast.
The monstrosity that has me considering temptation.
That has me walking towards my own obliteration.
What do I do now.
I can't do anything, because I'm already hell bound.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Tipseee
I'm kinda out of my mind.
Feeling tipsy,
so I'll just drop by
say hello, how are you
and then say have a great night, sweet dreams.
Hope y'all are doing well.
I'm a bit smashed, but I thought I might update.
Fiending some of that.
Sinematic.
Feeling tipsy,
so I'll just drop by
say hello, how are you
and then say have a great night, sweet dreams.
Hope y'all are doing well.
I'm a bit smashed, but I thought I might update.
Fiending some of that.
Sinematic.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
christine !
I'm back!
Just updated my flickr page, go check it out.
After a ten day hiatus, I got my priorities straight, and my focus focused. Anyways, this is what made my night, I thought I'd share it with you guys.
I'm back, now, go check out my flickr page. I took ten days off this place just for you guys and those photos,
Okay, I lie, but hey, it's the thought that counts.
I've been hella busy, but here you go !
http://flickr.com/photos/sinematic
christine ! says (1:17 AM):
aww angelo you're so good
and so passionate
i'm happy for you
christine ! says (1:22 AM):
haha no but srsly i'm so happy for you that you've found somethingyou love. instead of wasting yoru life on the itnernet liek me. haha. it's good your'e making something of your talent and really expressing yourself through art
i admire that, srsly.
christine ! says (1:43 AM):
nah, angelo. you're lucky you're not having to deal with a disease or loss.
and you should take the depression you feel and turn it into positive energy that you use to move forward in your life.
christine ! says (1:44 AM):
as long as you're living there's always hope for change and improvement. no matter how screwed up things might get there will always be hope to change things as long as you're alive. the only thing that can ever stop you from achieving your dreams if death. other than that anything is possible. truly.
christine ! says (1:45 AM):
and you're young. you've got a long ways to go. i knwo you'll be able to clena up whatever mess there is and start over and be happy.
christine ! says (1:46 AM):
just keep at it and be strong and positive. there's no reason why things won't get better. as long as you strive to make it better.the strife you're going through right now will only make the victory sweeter. and things will be alright. you can trust in that because God's with you and God's already won it all
just keep on keeping on and be patient with your life. good things come to those who wait. you're happiness is coming, angelo. whatever's happening right now is just preparing you for it.
christine ! says (1:47 AM):
and don't forget to pray.
Just updated my flickr page, go check it out.
After a ten day hiatus, I got my priorities straight, and my focus focused. Anyways, this is what made my night, I thought I'd share it with you guys.
I'm back, now, go check out my flickr page. I took ten days off this place just for you guys and those photos,
Okay, I lie, but hey, it's the thought that counts.
I've been hella busy, but here you go !
http://flickr.com/photos/sinematic
christine ! says (1:17 AM):
aww angelo you're so good
and so passionate
i'm happy for you
christine ! says (1:22 AM):
haha no but srsly i'm so happy for you that you've found somethingyou love. instead of wasting yoru life on the itnernet liek me. haha. it's good your'e making something of your talent and really expressing yourself through art
i admire that, srsly.
christine ! says (1:43 AM):
nah, angelo. you're lucky you're not having to deal with a disease or loss.
and you should take the depression you feel and turn it into positive energy that you use to move forward in your life.
christine ! says (1:44 AM):
as long as you're living there's always hope for change and improvement. no matter how screwed up things might get there will always be hope to change things as long as you're alive. the only thing that can ever stop you from achieving your dreams if death. other than that anything is possible. truly.
christine ! says (1:45 AM):
and you're young. you've got a long ways to go. i knwo you'll be able to clena up whatever mess there is and start over and be happy.
christine ! says (1:46 AM):
just keep at it and be strong and positive. there's no reason why things won't get better. as long as you strive to make it better.the strife you're going through right now will only make the victory sweeter. and things will be alright. you can trust in that because God's with you and God's already won it all
just keep on keeping on and be patient with your life. good things come to those who wait. you're happiness is coming, angelo. whatever's happening right now is just preparing you for it.
christine ! says (1:47 AM):
and don't forget to pray.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Yellow Brick Road
Lemme tell you a story that happened to me.
When I was just seventeen, and I was beginning to see
The difference between wrong and right, strong and might
Weak and pathetic, meek and aesthetic, so it was like
One day, monday, midnight morning, thoughts concerning
What it would be like if I had traded this passion burning
Inside me, but my pride see, won't let me talk to the wizard of oz
But if I was walking down the yellow brick road, I'd ask for balls
To see what would happen if instead of fappin' it's a different chick
Every night on my dick, without a concern for anything except to stick
It in her, even if her mouth said no, I would've told her so
Ignored her answer and just let the vodka in her start to flow
Taken advantage of the fact that she's slow to react
So I'm not really asking for balls, but for a stack
Of conscious killing mechanisms that will cause a schism
In my mind so I won't feel guilt when I speak a lie
To a chick that might be willing to die
For a guy that I've described myself as who I am
And then wake up to an empty bed, thinking to themselves damn
How could they let themselves be taken advantage of
But I have a vantage point, a quick mind, slick lines, to take your clothes off.
And you won't know until it's too late, except I
Tried to keep you away from spending too much time
With someone like I, because that's how I am
This is my hidden secret between me and my fam
And they tease me consistantly for my consistancy
Of chicks on the side, and laughs when they see her with me
Because they know the truth under the blanket
And there's not one chick I've met that's not set
On avoiding getting close, because an overdose
Of my personality will cause anyone's innocence to be lost.
When I was just seventeen, and I was beginning to see
The difference between wrong and right, strong and might
Weak and pathetic, meek and aesthetic, so it was like
One day, monday, midnight morning, thoughts concerning
What it would be like if I had traded this passion burning
Inside me, but my pride see, won't let me talk to the wizard of oz
But if I was walking down the yellow brick road, I'd ask for balls
To see what would happen if instead of fappin' it's a different chick
Every night on my dick, without a concern for anything except to stick
It in her, even if her mouth said no, I would've told her so
Ignored her answer and just let the vodka in her start to flow
Taken advantage of the fact that she's slow to react
So I'm not really asking for balls, but for a stack
Of conscious killing mechanisms that will cause a schism
In my mind so I won't feel guilt when I speak a lie
To a chick that might be willing to die
For a guy that I've described myself as who I am
And then wake up to an empty bed, thinking to themselves damn
How could they let themselves be taken advantage of
But I have a vantage point, a quick mind, slick lines, to take your clothes off.
And you won't know until it's too late, except I
Tried to keep you away from spending too much time
With someone like I, because that's how I am
This is my hidden secret between me and my fam
And they tease me consistantly for my consistancy
Of chicks on the side, and laughs when they see her with me
Because they know the truth under the blanket
And there's not one chick I've met that's not set
On avoiding getting close, because an overdose
Of my personality will cause anyone's innocence to be lost.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
What's less than three ?
What is less than three?
It's two, one, zero.
It's you plus one fear of less than three.
And we battle this fear, with an imaginary spear.
Trying to steer our life towards a love so clear,
That the waters of the world will envy at the clarity of this.
But bliss is found in ignorance, and everything else is useless.
Because we depend on bliss or someting worth less than three
Or else our lives feel empty without ignorance or being with she
Or he, but why are we even considering the worth of less than three?
Less than three IS worth less than three
Because you cannot sell it, it does come for free
But holding onto that is the hardest thing in the known universe.
Except for having the worst situation and making it worse.
Or trying not to reimburse when someone says you're worth less than three.
True love is less than three, regardless if it came for free.
Less than three is so hard to explain, because it's different.
For me, for you, for her, for him, but don't be indifferent.
To the fact that every act of less than three is not like your own.
It's as unique as the atmosphere of your family's home.
And as I write on, I begin to realize that I've gone
To a place where less than three, really means less than three.
And I'll be a hypocrite if I didn't think less than three is worthless.
Because I think to myself often, nothing could be worth this.
Less than three is a complicated situation to explain.
We've felt its presence, through love and through pain.
Sometimes we feel like it isn't worth the injury.
Because in the end, it's still worth less than three.
It's two, one, zero.
It's you plus one fear of less than three.
And we battle this fear, with an imaginary spear.
Trying to steer our life towards a love so clear,
That the waters of the world will envy at the clarity of this.
But bliss is found in ignorance, and everything else is useless.
Because we depend on bliss or someting worth less than three
Or else our lives feel empty without ignorance or being with she
Or he, but why are we even considering the worth of less than three?
Less than three IS worth less than three
Because you cannot sell it, it does come for free
But holding onto that is the hardest thing in the known universe.
Except for having the worst situation and making it worse.
Or trying not to reimburse when someone says you're worth less than three.
True love is less than three, regardless if it came for free.
Less than three is so hard to explain, because it's different.
For me, for you, for her, for him, but don't be indifferent.
To the fact that every act of less than three is not like your own.
It's as unique as the atmosphere of your family's home.
And as I write on, I begin to realize that I've gone
To a place where less than three, really means less than three.
And I'll be a hypocrite if I didn't think less than three is worthless.
Because I think to myself often, nothing could be worth this.
Less than three is a complicated situation to explain.
We've felt its presence, through love and through pain.
Sometimes we feel like it isn't worth the injury.
Because in the end, it's still worth less than three.
Speechless!
m'dear says (12:29 AM):
we are! and I miss being close
and i know it is mostly my fault for that
i've been so busy, and that's not an excuse for putting our friendship aside
m'dear says (12:30 AM):
i really like being close to you, we were such good friends
and we became close really quickly too!
i do miss you, and i really do want to hang out with you
.lєzαdα,αngelo; zero says (12:31 AM):
awe!
i'm touched
that means a lot
i think i'm going to blog that!
if it's cool with you!
and i owe you so many stories! D:
and poems
etc
.lєzαdα,αngelo; zero says (12:32 AM):
i've been loafting on everything !
m'dear says (12:32 AM):
oh goodness, i don't think my writing is worth your blog
and goodness! you don't owe me anything
but, I really am serious about what I said
your friendship means the world to me, and i don't want to lose it
and it's all because of you
m'dear says (12:33 AM):
you always put the effort to just type those to letters "hi" to me whenever i get the chance to go on the computer
and it really does mean a lot
it's my turn to put effort into our friendship
thanks for always being there angelo lo lo lo!
you're amazing, i truly do mean that
.lєzαdα,αngelo; zero says (12:35 AM):
awe, i'm speechless! D:
m'dear says (12:35 AM):
lol. well that's a first
i'm kidding
i just wanted to tell you that
we are! and I miss being close
and i know it is mostly my fault for that
i've been so busy, and that's not an excuse for putting our friendship aside
m'dear says (12:30 AM):
i really like being close to you, we were such good friends
and we became close really quickly too!
i do miss you, and i really do want to hang out with you
.lєzαdα,αngelo; zero says (12:31 AM):
awe!
i'm touched
that means a lot
i think i'm going to blog that!
if it's cool with you!
and i owe you so many stories! D:
and poems
etc
.lєzαdα,αngelo; zero says (12:32 AM):
i've been loafting on everything !
m'dear says (12:32 AM):
oh goodness, i don't think my writing is worth your blog
and goodness! you don't owe me anything
but, I really am serious about what I said
your friendship means the world to me, and i don't want to lose it
and it's all because of you
m'dear says (12:33 AM):
you always put the effort to just type those to letters "hi" to me whenever i get the chance to go on the computer
and it really does mean a lot
it's my turn to put effort into our friendship
thanks for always being there angelo lo lo lo!
you're amazing, i truly do mean that
.lєzαdα,αngelo; zero says (12:35 AM):
awe, i'm speechless! D:
m'dear says (12:35 AM):
lol. well that's a first
i'm kidding
i just wanted to tell you that
Friday, July 31, 2009
luxe's a fag! ;)
SINematic: i hate you luxe
luxeFAG: HAHAHA
luxeFAG: oh no
SINematic: FLUKE
luxeFAG: you love me
SINematic: :)
luxeFAG: :]
luxeFAG: can you play any instruments?!
SINematic: LOL
SINematic: i could play with your heart, does that count
SINematic: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
luxeFAG: WHAT
luxeFAG: HAHAH HOW LAME
luxeFAG: HAHAHA
luxeFAG: oh no
SINematic: FLUKE
luxeFAG: you love me
SINematic: :)
luxeFAG: :]
luxeFAG: can you play any instruments?!
SINematic: LOL
SINematic: i could play with your heart, does that count
SINematic: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
luxeFAG: WHAT
luxeFAG: HAHAH HOW LAME
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Family.
I got you.
-
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
-
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."
-
-
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
-
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."
-
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
M.I.A.
I suppose I have been missing for a few weeks.
Okay, enough of disappearing.
Time to refocus once again.
To do list;
i think i have three albums worth of raw untouched pictures, so gotta get on that!
Channel surfing mixtape cover,
new short film script idea.
and a bunch of other things
gonna sleep
or else i might not wake up.
later!
Okay, enough of disappearing.
Time to refocus once again.
To do list;
i think i have three albums worth of raw untouched pictures, so gotta get on that!
Channel surfing mixtape cover,
new short film script idea.
and a bunch of other things
gonna sleep
or else i might not wake up.
later!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Forgetful Me.
I had an idea for another short story/short film but I'm forgetful.
I'm going to spend the rest of the day figuring out what I forgot.
I'm going to spend the rest of the day figuring out what I forgot.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Barbie Debut!
So I just came home like two hours ago from my closest friend's debut. Uh, I've known her for four years. Ever since our grade nine days. Oh lord, those were the days. We use to be hella close, but since I moved schools, we're not as tight as we use to be. But we still talk. Especially when we (mainly I now cuz she's found a long term boyfriend), find a prospect to share our hearts too. Okay ew, that was way too mushy. But she still listens to me and I listen to her whenever she hollers. Okay enough talk, I just wanted to update my blog because I felt the need to. Plus the posts before this one were kinda not happy.
So I'll end this off with a to do list...
Write reflection piece on trip to chicago.
photoshoooooooooooooots galore! i got ideas, but i need help ;)
music video?
fix retarted sleeping habit. (sleeping at four, waking at 1)
arright, that's all for now.
excuse me for the lack of proper grammer and punctuation etc etc.
until next time !
So I'll end this off with a to do list...
Write reflection piece on trip to chicago.
photoshoooooooooooooots galore! i got ideas, but i need help ;)
music video?
fix retarted sleeping habit. (sleeping at four, waking at 1)
arright, that's all for now.
excuse me for the lack of proper grammer and punctuation etc etc.
until next time !
Friday, July 24, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Homesick.
I can hear the raindrops hitting whatever's in its path and it reminds me of my home.
I can smell the midnight monsoon happening right now, and it reminds me of my home.
I can see the blanket of the night, shadowing the scenery, and it reminds me of my home.
I can feel the cold midnight rain breeze, embracing my body, and it reminds me of my home.
I can say that I'm officially homesick once again.
I can smell the midnight monsoon happening right now, and it reminds me of my home.
I can see the blanket of the night, shadowing the scenery, and it reminds me of my home.
I can feel the cold midnight rain breeze, embracing my body, and it reminds me of my home.
I can say that I'm officially homesick once again.
I...
Just doesn't know what to do, it's not an easy choice and each choice sounds like it has it's own voice proclaiming it's the better choice.
So now, i'm stuck, not knowing what to do because quite frankly, i think i've fallen a little bit in love with you.
From our late night conversation, to our inner thoughts invasion, and our secretive liaisons.
Who am i to you, as a person?
You say words that make my soul feel warm, but that's just your charm.
I have the same one, and I know how to use it to make a chick melt at my arms.
I just don't know.
We took it slow.
And what do I have to show?
A progress that might have been a bit faster than a snail.
Another nail in my life story tale.
I just don't know.
I'm only human.
So now, i'm stuck, not knowing what to do because quite frankly, i think i've fallen a little bit in love with you.
From our late night conversation, to our inner thoughts invasion, and our secretive liaisons.
Who am i to you, as a person?
You say words that make my soul feel warm, but that's just your charm.
I have the same one, and I know how to use it to make a chick melt at my arms.
I just don't know.
We took it slow.
And what do I have to show?
A progress that might have been a bit faster than a snail.
Another nail in my life story tale.
I just don't know.
I'm only human.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Move.
[02:58] this_cali_chick: sighhhhs
[02:58] this_cali_chick: okay maybe you do matter but i'll neverr admit that
i think the more i talk to her, the more i realize cali is where i want to be.
cali bound anyone?
[02:58] this_cali_chick: okay maybe you do matter but i'll neverr admit that
i think the more i talk to her, the more i realize cali is where i want to be.
cali bound anyone?
Thursday, July 16, 2009
My Way.
she makes me happy
but i hate that
because when she's not around
i'm not happy
i'm only content
i want to stay happy, forever.
Ugh, this is despicable.
It's not me.
Yet, I want to stick with it.
I want her,
I... wanna be with her.
=\
I've never felt so strong before.
Not for them other chicks
Not for my ex's...
Except her.
Maybe that's why I want her so much
Because she reminds me so much of what I lost.
And I don't want to lose her.
I've never missed anyone this much.
It's sickening.
Yet she says it's cute.
It's not me.
Missing a chick isn't me.
Wanting a chick so bad isn't me.
Craving to hear her voice isn't me...
But I want to stay like this forever.
Because I know she's down for me, the way I'm down for her.
630.
but i hate that
because when she's not around
i'm not happy
i'm only content
i want to stay happy, forever.
Ugh, this is despicable.
It's not me.
Yet, I want to stick with it.
I want her,
I... wanna be with her.
=\
I've never felt so strong before.
Not for them other chicks
Not for my ex's...
Except her.
Maybe that's why I want her so much
Because she reminds me so much of what I lost.
And I don't want to lose her.
I've never missed anyone this much.
It's sickening.
Yet she says it's cute.
It's not me.
Missing a chick isn't me.
Wanting a chick so bad isn't me.
Craving to hear her voice isn't me...
But I want to stay like this forever.
Because I know she's down for me, the way I'm down for her.
630.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
4AM.
Got me addicted like I have methamphetamine in my bloodline.
And I'm going through withdrawal, and there's only two ways this can go.
I stay addicted to you if you show up again anytime soon.
Or I become unaddicted.
Either way, I'm not gonna care anymore.
Because I hate feeling like that.
Feeling... whipped.
So I slept over it.
And it's amazing how much can happen when you time travel.
Eight hours later, and I realized... I shouldn't give a fuck.
It's not me.
I'm too chill to worry.
So, here's a shot.
Let's take a risk.
Waiting on you.
One last time.
Cuz I'm here.
For you.
But I'm not going to make a fool out of myself.
You got forty eight hours.
And I'm going through withdrawal, and there's only two ways this can go.
I stay addicted to you if you show up again anytime soon.
Or I become unaddicted.
Either way, I'm not gonna care anymore.
Because I hate feeling like that.
Feeling... whipped.
So I slept over it.
And it's amazing how much can happen when you time travel.
Eight hours later, and I realized... I shouldn't give a fuck.
It's not me.
I'm too chill to worry.
So, here's a shot.
Let's take a risk.
Waiting on you.
One last time.
Cuz I'm here.
For you.
But I'm not going to make a fool out of myself.
You got forty eight hours.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Thirty Six!
So I just uploaded thirty six, yes thirty six, new pictures to my flickr page. Or for those faithful followers who, for some unknown reason, checks my flickr page every freaking day, it's eighteen. And for those who ask if I photoshop my picutres, I do. For the sole purpose of keeping the beauty that I wanted to capture in the first place. You see, our eyes are complicated, so what you see, isn't exactly what's out there. A camera does not have the brain to process pictures to the beauty that I see. Therefore, I use photoshop to create that same beauty that I saw in the first place. Believe it or not, I see beauty in all my pictures. (:
Plain&Simple
Keeping it plain and simple. Like my new banner. Stay posted for new pictures. And I just made myself totally stalk-able on facebook. That means, random people outside my network and outside my friends network can add me. So if you're reading this and would like to get to know me, though I'm sure that there aren't any strangers stalking my blog, you can now stalk me through facebook.
http://www.facebook.com/sinematic
http://flickr.com/photos/sinematic
(:
http://www.facebook.com/sinematic
http://flickr.com/photos/sinematic
(:
Sunday, July 12, 2009
SNUCKS!
Just dropping by folks.
Have a safe summer!
I'll be back with more poetry etc later.
Stay safe!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Patience.
That's all I need. Need to keep reminding myself that. It's only a matter of time.
Focused on goals.
Focused on goals.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
o.o''
so, i'm almost finished "cleaning" my room.
let's recap the steps, shall we?
Steps to Cleaning my Room
1. Sort out clothes – from what to keep and what to give away
2. Get rid of junk, sort out CDs, throw out random garbage in my room.
3. Get rid of extra bed, place it in basement.
4. Rearrange room!
5. Finish with a smiley face!
As you can see, I changed some of it a bit.
And I'm half way there, because the fifth step is clearly so extra.
On another note,
I did update my flickr page.
Check it out if you've got the time.
But seeing as you're on my site, that means you've got lots of time
So CHECK IT OUT!
http://flickr.com/photos/sinematic
Until next time!
let's recap the steps, shall we?
Steps to Cleaning my Room
1. Sort out clothes – from what to keep and what to give away
2.
3.
4. Rearrange room!
5. Finish with a smiley face!
As you can see, I changed some of it a bit.
And I'm half way there, because the fifth step is clearly so extra.
On another note,
I did update my flickr page.
Check it out if you've got the time.
But seeing as you're on my site, that means you've got lots of time
So CHECK IT OUT!
http://flickr.com/photos/sinematic
Until next time!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Hella Busy.
So, for the weekend, i plan to finish cleaning my room.
I started at 1PM July Four.
But I did write steps to cleaning my room.
I figure I'd share them with you.
Steps to Cleaning my Room
1. Sort out clothes – from what to keep and what to give away
2. Get rid of junk, sort out CDs, throw out random garbage in my room.
3. Get rid of extra bed, place it in basement.
4. Move my bed to the location of the extra bed.
5. Move computer to previous location of my bed.
6. Move my cabinets to the previous location of my computer.
7. Finish with a smiley face! :)
Hopefully I'll get to step four at the least.
I'm just taking a quick break, but if you wanna help me, you know how to reach me!
This is going to be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG day.
I started at 1PM July Four.
But I did write steps to cleaning my room.
I figure I'd share them with you.
Steps to Cleaning my Room
1. Sort out clothes – from what to keep and what to give away
2. Get rid of junk, sort out CDs, throw out random garbage in my room.
3. Get rid of extra bed, place it in basement.
4. Move my bed to the location of the extra bed.
5. Move computer to previous location of my bed.
6. Move my cabinets to the previous location of my computer.
7. Finish with a smiley face! :)
Hopefully I'll get to step four at the least.
I'm just taking a quick break, but if you wanna help me, you know how to reach me!
This is going to be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG day.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Haters.
He's got bare chicks? Where do you hear this shit?
It's hella hilarious.
Haters get flamed.
Watch out, trust is limited. Don't take my friendship for granted.
Be cautious. Word spreads faster than wild fire.
And haters get thrown in that wild fire.
It's hella hilarious.
Haters get flamed.
Watch out, trust is limited. Don't take my friendship for granted.
Be cautious. Word spreads faster than wild fire.
And haters get thrown in that wild fire.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Promises
My words aren't promising,
But I can promise you that my words are filled with sincerity and honesty,
Because I never want to lose you,
So forget I made you think,
Forget I asked a stupid question,
I'll just sit back on the sidelines
Wondering what ifs
Thinking what about us
Proclaiming that I will never leave you.
But I understand it's hard to give your heart away
Especially when people have given up before
I've been through that too, more than you know
I understand why you're questioning my honesty
Because I'll admit, I'm not always an honest guy
Except when I'm talking to you
People say I'm a nice guy, when I'm really not
But people insist otherwise
But I guess I'll just sit on the sideline
Because that's all I really am, everytime.
I'm JUST a friend, and I guess I always will be.
Until you give me a chance.
So I could prove to you that I will never leave you.
But hey, even if I am just a friend,
I'll still be here for you no matter what.
But I can promise you that my words are filled with sincerity and honesty,
Because I never want to lose you,
So forget I made you think,
Forget I asked a stupid question,
I'll just sit back on the sidelines
Wondering what ifs
Thinking what about us
Proclaiming that I will never leave you.
But I understand it's hard to give your heart away
Especially when people have given up before
I've been through that too, more than you know
I understand why you're questioning my honesty
Because I'll admit, I'm not always an honest guy
Except when I'm talking to you
People say I'm a nice guy, when I'm really not
But people insist otherwise
But I guess I'll just sit on the sideline
Because that's all I really am, everytime.
I'm JUST a friend, and I guess I always will be.
Until you give me a chance.
So I could prove to you that I will never leave you.
But hey, even if I am just a friend,
I'll still be here for you no matter what.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Cop This!
Okay, so this is a TicTac Productions Mixtape. But the cover and photo edits is done by yours truly. As you can see, it's a seventeen track mixtape, all beats, sadly no lyrics. Maybe his next mixtape will include more of the mic along with his OWN produced beats. Anyways, it's a Egotistic Productions x Sinematic Photography x Tictac Productions collaboration. But the majority of the work credit goes to Mr. Vince Ticsay, (find him at http://tictactalksandthoughts.blogspot.com/) a.k.a. TicTac, owner of TicTac Productions, obviously. Okay, enough ranting. Go get it already!
Download here for an awesome mixtape!
I'm In Over My Head
I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your ...
And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves
And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
Everyone knows
She's on your mind
Everyone knows I'm in over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm over my...
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your ...
And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves
And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
Everyone knows
She's on your mind
Everyone knows I'm in over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm over my...
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Caught.
She's so fly, she's worldwide but everyone looks down on anyone who hits her more than one time and to anyone who even dares tell anyone "she's mine."
Corrupt minds took away the beauty buried beneath her, because everyone says, "Just get at her."
She's not girlfriend material, they say, just do her and leave that same day.
Anyway, she won't stick around, because a relationship with a prostitute is always bound to come crashing down.
She's been around, she's a gigantic flirt, leaving those foolish enough to catch feelings hurt.
And broken hearts are her specialties, because she knows that everyone thinks she's just a tease.
She seems easy, gets your heart feeling queasy, but tempts you to let your hands run freely.
And I'll be the first to admit, it's really hard trying to stop it, when the green light is lit.
Trying to resist what the community sees her as, and that's just a piece of fine chest, legs, boobs and ass.
She's got class, somewhere stashed, for anyone who will break past and break that "she's just a one timer" mask.
Because underneath that exterior of shit talk and gossip, is a beautiful, insecure lady who just wants to be loved as much as she'll love you.
Corrupt minds took away the beauty buried beneath her, because everyone says, "Just get at her."
She's not girlfriend material, they say, just do her and leave that same day.
Anyway, she won't stick around, because a relationship with a prostitute is always bound to come crashing down.
She's been around, she's a gigantic flirt, leaving those foolish enough to catch feelings hurt.
And broken hearts are her specialties, because she knows that everyone thinks she's just a tease.
She seems easy, gets your heart feeling queasy, but tempts you to let your hands run freely.
And I'll be the first to admit, it's really hard trying to stop it, when the green light is lit.
Trying to resist what the community sees her as, and that's just a piece of fine chest, legs, boobs and ass.
She's got class, somewhere stashed, for anyone who will break past and break that "she's just a one timer" mask.
Because underneath that exterior of shit talk and gossip, is a beautiful, insecure lady who just wants to be loved as much as she'll love you.
Friday, June 26, 2009
New Banner!
So, I spent a good while trying out some new stuff. I was trying to learn how to make a picture look vintage but the tutorial was for Photoshop CS3, and I'm still using CS2. I don't plan to change anytime soon. I suppose I'll leave you with a short summer to do list. Some are specific, some are hella vague, but it'll inform you on how busy I will be.
- Pool Party @ John's
- Gain a flat stomach
- Finish mixtape cover for Vince
- Watch movies!
- Maintain flickr site and blogspots.
- Love Sparks Photoshoot
- Suit Up! Photoshoot
- YCOMM Photoshoot
- YCOMM Art Exhibition
- Sushi with Ana & Anna
- Photoshoot collab with Gillian
- Photoshoot collab with Marlise
- Photoshoot with Michelle and Leila
- Photoshoot with Sandy, Erika & Charlaine (if they're still up for it)
- Photoshoot with Laura
- Photoshoot in Sauga
- Photoshoot in Malton
- Visit Cassandra Nanlal
- Play ball with John, Marcus, Karl, Immanuel, Voydie, Christian and Everest, four on four? :P
- Party with Laura & Zyrelle
- Party in general
- Get my G2
- Clean my room (gotta get on this asap)
- Hopefully find a job
- YFC Conference (hopefully)
- Staying single? LOL, y'all know what this is about. (inside joke)
- Etc, etc.
As you can see, my list is hella long. Summer, I've been looking forward to you since November, don't let me down!
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