Conversation with i

I write to give my creativity a voice,
I fight against what seemingly looks like better choice,
And despite all the negativity, I'm sticking with my choice.
Because I've surgically removed that inside noise.
That prideful voice that keeps me on the path to heaven.
It's like I'm playing Russian roulette and I'm number seven.
I can't lose, yet I know I don't want to win.
But I've already called the bet, and the other gambler called all in.
Called his bluff, that's another player out,
But I'm not done until my luck heads south.
Or I win it all, there's no going back now.
But my decisions aren't my own because karma around.
Karma's my bestfriend, she's got me on speed dial.
But I thought we lost contact, she hasn't called in a while.
I've changed, yet Karma wants me to stay the same.
But Guilt is alive and is still in the assassinating game.
It's plain to see that I'm trying to keep away
From Karma, and everything she has to say.
Stay away from temptation, retire my jersey.
I thought that retirement would be the key.
But Karma's testing me, proving I'm still the same.
And I know that if I give in, I'll be the one to blame.
But I know I'm stronger, I know I can last.
It's just that, if you look at my past,
My record is short of perfection like oompa loompas.
Girl hopping quickly like Mario hopping on goombas.
Breaking innocence like Usain Bolt breaking records.
Everyone wished me luck in my endeavor.
Left when I was severed, hoping to come back in one piece.
Mastering the way to find that inner peace, tamed that evil beast.
The monstrosity that has me considering temptation.
That has me walking towards my own obliteration.
What do I do now.
I can't do anything, because I'm already hell bound.