365 Days Project

Two weeks down. Fifty more to go.

On Hold.

I'm so confused. I'm trying to make a tumblr but I suppose it'll take a few days for me to get use to it. But it's not like I'm abandoning my blogspot. Nope, this blogspot has helped me express what I'm thinking. Leaving it would be the inhumane thing to do, as ridiculous as that sounds. Feels like a new adventure. I suppose I should open a tumblr, not like I'm doing anything productive.

But I'll be working dilligently (I hope) on my stories. I'd like to finish them before the new year.

lateryears.tumblr.com

Sneak Preview/Reminder

Just a sneak peek for what's coming up with my writing.
I'm working on a written project, for myself of course.
And for those who care to read it.
I'm almost through.
I'll give you the titles of the stories that I'm working on at the moment.
And you may ask yourself, why so many.
A tribute to how much I love writing.
Plus a chance to try different things with each story.
And they are titled...

One Night

Waking Up (This one is already up on my blog, under Midnight Stories.)

Aaron's Story

Sleepless Nights

Seven Day Cruise

From The Start

And as a bonus, here's a little excerpt from "From The Start,"

Thirteen looked at her children's innocent eyes. Tears began rolling down, for she did not know how to explain the situation to her twin children. The shock of what she had just lost is still too fresh in her mind. She embraced the children, and the children hugged her in return. Although, she knew that her children questioned why she was eminating such sorrow and despair. The twins took a step back and her daughter wiped her tear away. Her son grabbed his sisters hand and Thirteen smiled.

"Don't cry," her daughter spoke so innocently, "everything will be okay." As if she really knew what her fragile mother recently witnessed.

"Always take care of your sister," she knew that her time wasn't up just yet, but she spoke as if her impending doom was nearing her heart. The young boy nodded his head. "No matter what, always look out for your twin sister, Aaron."

Monster

I've been listening to Rafael Casal's The Monster LP, it's by far one of my favourite mixtapes ever because it's about this monster inside us all. And it's really the concept I've wrapped my mind around on, the whole "mankind was born evil, we're only good because we have rules for our society." Anyways, it gave me an idea. I'm going to take a snippet of the song which really spoke to me and use that as my vantage point.


Uhm, that's it for now I suppose.
Can't believe it's december already.
Oh well. Check frequently, though I'm not sure why you would.
I'll be back with some artsy stuff or somethign later.

The Axiom.

You're special.
And that's only scratching the surface of what I think about you.
There are millions of words in the English dictionary.
And I still can't find the right set of words to explain what goes through my mind when my smile reflects yours.
A million synonyms and antonyms.
And I still can't find the ideal word to describe how beautiful your eyes are, when I find myself lost in them.
A million different combinations of sentences can be formed.
And yet, I still can't find that sentence that would plunge despair, doubt, cynicism, hate and envy out of your vocabulary.
A million thoughts formed in a single second.
But the one thought that I need to perfectly portray the loveliness that I see in you, always alludes me.
It escapes me.
Like the millions of phrases that I wish I could come up with to properly display the attraction that your mind has captured me with.
Billions and millions and thousands of expressions are out there,
Not one of them can depict, in HD quality imagery, the way my heart beats faster when it hears the beat of your heart.
I can't come across a single axiom, or the truth when I try to explain the effects inflicted towards me when I hear the sound your soothing, calming, gentle voice.
It's impossible to explain how my soul smiles when it senses that you are near by.
You're special, and it's difficult to explain what you mean to me.
But some things are better left unexplained.

I Don't Understand

NOTE: I wrote this about a month ago. I never got around to posting it here. Well, without further ado, enjoy!

I Don't Understand.

I don't understand.
I don't understand how people are always telling me that I'm nice, I'm a good guy, I've got an interesting personality, I've got a brilliant mind and I've got a great smile.
And sometimes, they say I'm hella cute.
And yet, with all those apparent qualities that people see in me,
Why do I end up with friends who become more than friends but in the end, they're nothing but a bunch of...
You might say I'm just bitter.
But because of them my entire life has scars and stitches and each one of them tell a story.
This one, on my right shoulder, was from the time I spent countless hours listening to her because I was a coward.
I took pride that she could cower and take cover on my shoulder and I didn't want to lose that bond with her.
She would always tell me, oh Angelo, why can't I find a guy like you, but you did find a guy like me
I wanted to tell her how I felt, but she just kept on telling me that she wished she could find a guy like me.
She eventually did find a guy like me...
This one, on my left cheek, is from this girl that seemed meek, but she would always flirt with me.
It meant the world to me, but it was worth more to me than it was to her.
Because the minute I felt like we were going steady, her boyfriend punched me across the face.
And when my face took impact with his fist, all I could think about was what did I do to deserve this.
So as I lied flat on my back, with her holding him back, I got up and swung my fist back.
I never spoke to her again.
This one on my right wrist was from the time I fell for lust.
She, grabbed me by the wrist, and we, found a place to ourselves, and I pulled her closer by the hips, and we... kissed.
But we met minutes ago.
I suggested we took things slow.
Start off with a hi, I'm Angelo.
And just, you know, go with the flow?
She got off me and left the room.
She hissed and said she just wanted a one night honeymoon.
Without the matrimony or love in full bloom.
I hope she caught AIDS.
There was the time where this girl left a scar on my back, right behind my spine.
I thought she was mine, and that the whole universe was finally aligned and that everything was finally fine.
But, she would always lie to me.
And I always believed her.
Because I cared for her.
I stood by her side, comforting her when she needs me, always by her side, I was there when she was sick, by her bedside.
She told me that I was the best boyfriend she ever had, and that she never wanted it to end.
But nine weeks in, I found out that she... she...she had... another boyfriend.
I felt betrayed, backstabbed, bamboozled, I was back to square one.
I hope he broke her heart.
I have a scar, in the middle, of my heart.
It hasn't healed yet.
Because she, made me, happy.
Happier than any form of drugs, alcohol or temporary high could bring.
She was my natural high.
Seeing her smile was the drug that I needed to get by, everyday.
We were both busy for one another, but the way we made time for each other was...amazing.
I would pick her up after her work just so I could spend half an hour on the bus with her.
I would wait for her to get off school just so I could walk her home.
We would take the long way getting home whenever we had the chance to go out.
She would leave me voicemail every morning just to remind me that she cares about me.
For Valentine's Day, I bought her a bouquet and went to her place.
Only to find out that she bought me a bouquet and went to my place.
She was really special to me.
So I gave her a gift that I never gave to anyone before.
I gave her something precious to me.
I gave her...
My heart.
Everything was going great, I knew we had something great, but she, broke up, with me.
I didn't know why, and I held in my tears, pride didn't let me cry.
But I was hurt, she broke my self-worth
I became cold, frigid, arctic weather towards any girl trying to get close to me.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't break past what I am.
I'll be forever known as
A nice guy, with a smile that seems to always be there.
I'll always be that guy
with the brilliant mind and a great personality... but maybe... maybe that's my liability.

Plans.

So, I went to the weathernetwork and this was the first thing I saw on their homepage.
Weather Warning
Frost warning for City of Toronto
And it's only October! Can you see the oddness in that weather warning? We've experienced the worst of weathers we can possibly imagine. Not as worse as my fellow Filipinos back home, please pray for them, but it's insane! We've had thunderstorms, tornados, hail, crazy wind, lightning, thunder, and now a frost warning?! All before November?!

Wow, total loaft on this blogpost. Draft autosaved at 1:45 AM, it's currently 2:48AM. Good job youtube. LOL

Okay, so aside from my weather rant, I think this year, what's left of `09, and `10 will be the year when I'll be pushing towards producing what I've wanted. `09 was sort of the thinking process, confirming this is what I really want, and setting up some connections for certain things, don't worry, none of them are illegal. As you know, photography is my passion and my fam from egotistic productions have helped me fuel that for the past year. Ever since Feb 01, I've been learning and hopefully improving in becoming one of the upcoming local photographers. I'm trying to make it big you guys. Become a famous photographer, a photographer at some of the high end fashion scenes, become an overseas journalist or one of my biggest hope is that I'll be taking pictures for National Geographic and things like that. With that said, I'm going to make `10 (it sounds so weird when you read ten, rather than oh nine) the biggest move from local photographer to a region photographer. Work my way out of high school, as I hope that this is going to be my last year in high school, and get into an art school for applied photography so I can work towards getting my bachelors/masters in art & photography. Even if I don't get accepted towards the program I wish to get into, I will not give up photography. It's my passion, I can't let what I love to do go. Even writing's still a part of my life, though not so much creative writing. But blogging still counts as a way to show my love for english. Excuse my spelling and bad grammar. I do have backup choices if fate doesn't hand over photography as soon as I wish it to. Sociology, Psychology, Anthropology, Philosophy are also areas that I'm looking into.

Again, total blankness on this post, five minutes only this time haha.

With all that said, I think I'm going to post on the Egotistic Productions site. Okay, continue the read at
http://egotisticproductions.blogspot.com/
Hope to see you there!

Insight.

So Aaron Cruz is like my fictional character in my story. When I write, I feel like the stories I weave are real. Therefore, in my mind, Aaron Cruz exists. Am I crazy? Partially. I prefer to be categorized as different, unique, a new breed of writing. Anyways.

The more we go into this, the less we talk. I'm starting to feel like you were right all along and trying to prove you wrong would just end up in me falling flat on my face. So, I'll let the world decide our fate.

Hm, what else.

Go to sleep Kim Liban!

I'm awkward around girls!
LOL hella random.

I'm in need of some sociological insight into certain kinds of people, psychological and anthropological wise too.

Oh, btw, Waking Up is under construction in a sense of it WILL BECOME A SHORT FILM :)
Iris needs to be let out real soon.
and I'm hoping to get some of my creativity let out soon
And last but not least. Aaron Cruz, you're a slick character. Stop hiding from me, I must tell your story.
As an author, my characters come to life. But does that make me crazy, to refer to them as real people?
Okay, it's decided. If I don't get into photography, I'm getting into either Social Worker, Anthropologist, Psycologist, or Sociologist. Done deal !
The mind is the greatest work of art in the history of the universe.

Kay, goodnight.
Sweet dreams,
Kim Liban
Cuz I know you're reading this. LOL

Life's Mysteries - Introduction

My story follows the life of Aaron. I'll portray Aaron fighting against his addictions and psychological occurdences that disturb his daily life. Suffering from an inability to grasp reality and the creation of his own mind merging with what he thinks is real, he begins to lose his grip on reality. Looking for professional aid, he encounters characters that push him to his limit. His hope is that he overcomes this psychological dilemna and can live his life normally.


So this is the background story into my ISU that I'm doing for english, hope you look forward to it ! :)

:')

:')
It was one view away from 500, but i don't think it's ever hit that high. Thanks guys ! :)

Two Years.

Two years of my life went by
And this right here, is a testimony that time does fly by.
Looking back through pictures, reminding myself
Those who were there and who stayed around to help
From my days at ward, to libermann, to fraiser and now
Wondering how did 730 days fly by without me hearing a sound
From the ground's perspective, nothing's changed.
If it wasn't for pictures, I wouldn't have noticed my physical features been rearranged.
From my hairstyle to my clothing wear, to the glasses I need
To the way I speak, the people I meet and what I believe.
To my hopes and dreams, goals and my future for when I'm grown
But at least now, I'm sure that I'll do good on my own.
From the crew I chill with, to the boys I kick with
From the way I think, to the way I spit.
I've changed, and it's laughable how
I always said I'll never be that, look at me now.
From a nice guy, to a flirt, to a falling for the wrong types
To a heart breaking motherfucker, to a I can get any girl hype
From a I'm not good enough to I'm too cute for that chick
From a I hope she'll chill with me, to a there's too many of them on my dick
From a ride or die kinda guy to a don't bring your fucking drama here
But I'll still ride or die for family, that's still the same from two years.
From a nerdy child, eager to learn and looking forward to his career
It was worthwhile, to learn to burn and handle a few beers.
I still know where I'm heading, I havent lost sight
But now, I can say that I'll actually put up a fight.
I'm a different man, not a kid anymore, all grown up.
An indifferent man, who don't kid anymore, life's been tough.
I'm not as caring as I use to be, I actually don't give a fuck.
And I'm not acting tough, sometimes, I just don't give a fuck.
I'm more passionate, believer in fate, and I do fuck around.
But I'm more caring, especially those who's still holding me down.
You know who you are, it's been a long motherfucking journey.
From the minute we met, who knew we'd end up chilling like family.
Egotistic Productions, all day, don't sleep on us now.
That's family right there, two years in the making, we're world bound.
Perfecting our skills like the blades ninjas assassinate with
We growing big, growing up, you better know who you're fucking with.

SINematic

07-09
Egotistic Productions
Two years in the making.
We're working on it.

christine !

I'm back!
Just updated my flickr page, go check it out.
After a ten day hiatus, I got my priorities straight, and my focus focused. Anyways, this is what made my night, I thought I'd share it with you guys.
I'm back, now, go check out my flickr page. I took ten days off this place just for you guys and those photos,
Okay, I lie, but hey, it's the thought that counts.
I've been hella busy, but here you go !

http://flickr.com/photos/sinematic

christine ! says (1:17 AM):
aww angelo you're so good
and so passionate
i'm happy for you
christine ! says (1:22 AM):
haha no but srsly i'm so happy for you that you've found somethingyou love. instead of wasting yoru life on the itnernet liek me. haha. it's good your'e making something of your talent and really expressing yourself through art
i admire that, srsly.
christine ! says (1:43 AM):
nah, angelo. you're lucky you're not having to deal with a disease or loss.
and you should take the depression you feel and turn it into positive energy that you use to move forward in your life.
christine ! says (1:44 AM):
as long as you're living there's always hope for change and improvement. no matter how screwed up things might get there will always be hope to change things as long as you're alive. the only thing that can ever stop you from achieving your dreams if death. other than that anything is possible. truly.
christine ! says (1:45 AM):
and you're young. you've got a long ways to go. i knwo you'll be able to clena up whatever mess there is and start over and be happy.
christine ! says (1:46 AM):
just keep at it and be strong and positive. there's no reason why things won't get better. as long as you strive to make it better.the strife you're going through right now will only make the victory sweeter. and things will be alright. you can trust in that because God's with you and God's already won it all
just keep on keeping on and be patient with your life. good things come to those who wait. you're happiness is coming, angelo. whatever's happening right now is just preparing you for it.
christine ! says (1:47 AM):
and don't forget to pray.

Find Me.

Because I got other things to focus on for now.

Barbie Debut!

So I just came home like two hours ago from my closest friend's debut. Uh, I've known her for four years. Ever since our grade nine days. Oh lord, those were the days. We use to be hella close, but since I moved schools, we're not as tight as we use to be. But we still talk. Especially when we (mainly I now cuz she's found a long term boyfriend), find a prospect to share our hearts too. Okay ew, that was way too mushy. But she still listens to me and I listen to her whenever she hollers. Okay enough talk, I just wanted to update my blog because I felt the need to. Plus the posts before this one were kinda not happy.

So I'll end this off with a to do list...
Write reflection piece on trip to chicago.
photoshoooooooooooooots galore! i got ideas, but i need help ;)
music video?
fix retarted sleeping habit. (sleeping at four, waking at 1)

arright, that's all for now.
excuse me for the lack of proper grammer and punctuation etc etc.

until next time !

Thirty Six!

So I just uploaded thirty six, yes thirty six, new pictures to my flickr page. Or for those faithful followers who, for some unknown reason, checks my flickr page every freaking day, it's eighteen. And for those who ask if I photoshop my picutres, I do. For the sole purpose of keeping the beauty that I wanted to capture in the first place. You see, our eyes are complicated, so what you see, isn't exactly what's out there. A camera does not have the brain to process pictures to the beauty that I see. Therefore, I use photoshop to create that same beauty that I saw in the first place. Believe it or not, I see beauty in all my pictures. (:

Plain&Simple

Keeping it plain and simple. Like my new banner. Stay posted for new pictures. And I just made myself totally stalk-able on facebook. That means, random people outside my network and outside my friends network can add me. So if you're reading this and would like to get to know me, though I'm sure that there aren't any strangers stalking my blog, you can now stalk me through facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/sinematic
http://flickr.com/photos/sinematic

(:

Patience.

That's all I need. Need to keep reminding myself that. It's only a matter of time.

Focused on goals.

o.o''

so, i'm almost finished "cleaning" my room.
let's recap the steps, shall we?

Steps to Cleaning my Room
1. Sort out clothes – from what to keep and what to give away
2. Get rid of junk, sort out CDs, throw out random garbage in my room.
3. Get rid of extra bed, place it in basement.
4. Rearrange room!
5. Finish with a smiley face!

As you can see, I changed some of it a bit.
And I'm half way there, because the fifth step is clearly so extra.

On another note,
I did update my flickr page.
Check it out if you've got the time.
But seeing as you're on my site, that means you've got lots of time
So CHECK IT OUT!

http://flickr.com/photos/sinematic

Until next time!

Artist Statement.

Q: Why do you consider yourself an artist?

A: I consider myself an artist. Artists use their talents to get their message across, they have an undeniable passion for their creative outlet, they never let anyone's words break their way of self expression and they never let anyone get in the way of their dreams. So yes, I am an artist.

Q: As an artist, what do you think of other people's work?

A: Self expression, you can't judge that. There's no such thing as a bad artwork or even a written. It's all self expression like I always say. But some art work are just so eye-gasmic, you can't help but say, damn, they're hella great.

Q: What's your biggest inspiration?

A: Everything. I see beauty everywhere. What's not beautiful about our world?

Q: Do you follow that stereotype that creative minds work best at night?

A: Sadly, yes. Sometimes I stay up till the birds start chirping finishing a poem.

Q: What's the your ideal working space?

A: As a photographer, a plain coloured wall, preferably white or beige but eye blinding colours like lime green or purple are just as good, a computer and the love of my life, Iris, my d60.

Q: Why'd you pick the arts?

A: Self expression. You can't speak your mind in math, at least not in the same way. I've got a lot on my mind all the time. Art and english helps me relieve those thoughts.

Q: Did you always want to go into the arts?

A: LOL, no. I planned to be a mathematical genuis or a science nerd. I still am. It's kind of hard not to be when both your parents work in banks in IT Programming with a computer science/engineering major. It also doesn't help that math, science and history were their favourite subjects.

Q: What do you want to be?

A: I want to be perfect. But I figure that's an impossibility. We're humans, so perfect is out of our reach. Oh, you mean life wise? I'd like to be a photographer. But to be honest, I'm still hoping for winning the 20 million jackpot and travelling the world with Iris.

Q: Aside from your professional work, what else do you use photography for?

A: Professional? LOL. Photoshoots with friends for fun, an excuse to chill and break out my d60. Need a new profile display picture? Find me. Haha.

Q: Describe yourself in one word.

A: Human.

Q: What are you wishing for?

A: That I find a couple model and a girlfriend who'll let me take countless pictures of her beauty. LMFAO.

Q: Anything else you want to tell your readers?

A: What readers? Uh, thanks for the support you've given me and look forward to my new pieces coming out soon. Sorry for being a lazy fatass that I am.

OTTAWA!

So like I said before in my previous posts, I'm going to Ottawa for the weekend. For the Tulip Festival plus a Family reunion thingy? Or was it a high school reunion for my parents? I don't know exactly. But I'm going to be out this weekend, so I'll try to keep you guys posted. I'm definitely going to take a million pictures. Hopefully my dad's laptop will provide enough space. Anyways, I ate at Pho and I'm freakin full. And I have a korean grill to get at later on with some friends. Shoot, I'm getting faaaaaaaaaaaat. Time to start excersising I suppose.

Okay, so enough randomness, let me remind all of you (I hope there is an "ALL OF YOU") that Egotistic Productions, with the help of AJ Maas from SmokinBarrelStudios and a bunch of people that I haven't asked for their support yet, are making a music video. Of what you may wonder? Of Egotron's (aka superEGOtron aka Marcus Lomboy aka MarcIs Marcus) song, How I Met Your Mother. Haven't heard the song yet? Click the link that will come up later on in the post and go listen to it. And if you're interested in partaking in this awesomeness collaboration between the most interesting of minds, contact me through facebook. Search up Havyou Met Angelo Lezada in the Toronto, ON network. Send me a message, add me, do everything humanely possible to get in contact with me if you are sincerely interested in partaking.

Okay, that's all for now. And I just want to add a shoutout to my newest fan, sorry for those who are already fans, I just thought I'd write this because she's "stalking" me now.

So, hello to you Miss Jovily Gabuten. And welcome to my blogspot. Feel free to read up on old posts and junk. I'm pretty boring, but I hope it helps you pass the time!

Okay, that's it.

Oh, and don't forget to watch Bliss, if you haven't seen it. It's a short film brought to you by SmokinBarrelStudios. It's awesome, you should watch it. I hope you all have a great long weekend, unless you're outside of Canada. But if you are outside of Canada and happen to read this, I just have to say, HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU GET TO MY SITE? Actually, that question applies to those outside of my social network too. LOL. Anyways, as always, feel free to uhm.. comment. Though no one really does :( LOL.

Okay, I think this is the first legit blog post I've done in a while.

Until next time!

PS
If you're going to be in Ottawa and would like to meet me, 416 579 0014 ;)
Apparently, it worked for Snucks, so, who knows. LOL

And here's Marcus' song!

http://superegotron.blogspot.com/2009/04/finite.html

Wash your hands and avoid the swine flu!