My story follows the life of Aaron. I'll portray Aaron fighting against his addictions and psychological occurdences that disturb his daily life. Suffering from an inability to grasp reality and the creation of his own mind merging with what he thinks is real, he begins to lose his grip on reality. Looking for professional aid, he encounters characters that push him to his limit. His hope is that he overcomes this psychological dilemna and can live his life normally.
So this is the background story into my ISU that I'm doing for english, hope you look forward to it ! :)
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Confused.
what i want is something so surreal
So unthinkable
I don't think it's even possible for me to find it in this lifetime.
What i yearn for is something possible,
And yet it feels like it's out of my reach.
What i want is perfection
But how do i find perfection when I myself am not perfect?
I am not satisfied with my best efforts
But I give up oh so easily.
What is one to do?
I'm so confused.
So unthinkable
I don't think it's even possible for me to find it in this lifetime.
What i yearn for is something possible,
And yet it feels like it's out of my reach.
What i want is perfection
But how do i find perfection when I myself am not perfect?
I am not satisfied with my best efforts
But I give up oh so easily.
What is one to do?
I'm so confused.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Human.
Our success lasts for a while
But failure scars you forever
--------------------------------
I have goals
I have dreams
I have hopes
I have faith
I feel pain
I feel jealousy
I feel envy
I feel hurt
I know love
I know hate
I know loneliness
I know passion
I am smart
I am passionate
I am honest
I am human
What hurts us, makes us stronger.
What breaks us, stirs our passion.
What pains us, gives us life.
Our flaws makes us unique.
Where we fail, defines our humanity.
Where we succeed, defines our weakness.
Because imperfection is being humane.
Humanity is about imperfection.
Being imperfect makes us perfect.
Just my two cents.
But failure scars you forever
--------------------------------
I have goals
I have dreams
I have hopes
I have faith
I feel pain
I feel jealousy
I feel envy
I feel hurt
I know love
I know hate
I know loneliness
I know passion
I am smart
I am passionate
I am honest
I am human
What hurts us, makes us stronger.
What breaks us, stirs our passion.
What pains us, gives us life.
Our flaws makes us unique.
Where we fail, defines our humanity.
Where we succeed, defines our weakness.
Because imperfection is being humane.
Humanity is about imperfection.
Being imperfect makes us perfect.
Just my two cents.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
You.
You're concieted as fuck, but you've got self-esteem issues.
You know you're not the best person, yet you act like you are.
You know she deserves better, so you act like there is no one better.
You know you're not the best person, yet you act like you are.
You know she deserves better, so you act like there is no one better.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Tim Gunn!
He's officially in the list of people I HAVE TO MEET. :)
And someone I idolize, not because he's a well reknowned fashionista, but also because he's so upfront and blunt and the way he is.
Tim Gunn, I wish I could photograph your work :(
And someone I idolize, not because he's a well reknowned fashionista, but also because he's so upfront and blunt and the way he is.
Tim Gunn, I wish I could photograph your work :(
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Story Starter
He wished the phone would stop ringing. It’s been a week since he broke up with Ally. It’s as if she refused to believe that he actually broke up with her. They’ve been together for almost two years, but Aaron felt like he was missing a lot in life. Whenever he’d go to parties, he would have a conscience that would prevent him from making out with a girl he had just met. Over the last seven months, he had found out things about Ally that would make any self respecting boyfriend to break up with his girlfriend. Many people often wondered why Aaron would give Ally so many undeserving chances.
“You have three unheard messages, check unheard messages; press one.” Only three? She’s called over fifteen times and she only left three? Hesitant, he pressed one. “First message, ‘Aaron, I know you didn’t mean those things you said. I know I’ve said some things and I’m not the best girlfriend, but I love you, I care for you. Please, call me back so we can talk about this. We can make this work,’” Aaron pressed the number seven key, “Message deleted. Second message, ‘Aaron, I’m really sorry for everything, I know now how much—‘message deleted.”
Aaron was about to hang up, she’s been calling nonstop for the past two days but he figured he might as well delete the last message. “Third message, ‘Is this Aaron?’” It was a different voice; he was startled because he was expecting his ex-girlfriends. “’This is Elsa, from Chemistry third period? Our professor gave me your phone number. I was wondering if you still needed a partner...” Aaron’s mind stopped paying attention to the recorded message. He was trying to figure out who she was. Her name sounded familiar, but he had never looked at anyone when he was with Ally, not that he needed to. Ally was every guy’s dream girl, physically of course. But that’s not why he started dating her. He went out with her because she was interesting, different, independent and unique. But ever since summer, she became clingy, paranoid and dependant. She would be mad at him for talking to other girls, make a scene when a girl would attract his attention at the mall, and would ignore him for weeks when he forgot to call. She had him on a strict leash, but he endured it, until, of course, the day of their breakup, “...so call me back when you can. Thanks.” Aaron called her back without giving it a second thought.
Time flew by and it’s been over a year since Aaron broke up with Ally. He hasn’t had a missed call from Ally in a while and he was getting closer to Elsa. He even suspected that Elsa might have been attracted to him, but he placed that silly notion behind him. You’re just being too confident now, he would remind himself.
“What’s wrong Aaron?” Elsa and Aaron would spend most of their time together, studying or just hanging out. Today, they’re just sitting at a park bench, enjoying the view. Aaron enjoyed his time with Elsa but there was something about Elsa that reminded him of Ally, the way she talked, the way she thinks about things, the way she reacts to certain conversations. Elsa seemed to be too similar to Ally. He would’ve asked Elsa out if it wasn’t for that.
“Oh nothing, did I tell you how you remind me of my ex-girlfriend?” He found himself shocked that those words came out of his mouth.
“Really? So that means I’m your type?” She was trying to hide her cheeks turning rosy red.
“Why are you blushing for?” Aaron took that blush to confirm she was attracted to him.
“I think it’s quite obvious, don’t you?” Now he knew he wasn’t just being confident. But how was he supposed to let her know that he’s still not ready? After what Ally placed him through, he didn’t think he can ever trust someone at that intimate level.
“I don’t want a relationship...with you.” Again, Aaron found himself bewildered at what he just said. It’s as if his mind didn’t even want to sugar coat what he’s about to say.
“What?” She moved away from him. She didn’t know how to react. No one’s ever said that to her. “Do you not find me attractive?”
“You’re beautiful, but I just don’t think we should be in a relationship together.”
“Why not!” She was starting to cause a scene, and even though it was at the park, there were a lot of people walking by.
“Because, I told you, you remind me of my ex-girlfriend!”
“What’s wrong with Ally? She may have cheated on you, but she’s miserable when you’re not around! She loves you...”
“Elsa... how did you know Ally cheated on me? I never told you how we broke up. In fact, I’ve never mentioned her name to you.” Elsa looked like she was searching her brain for an answer, but Aaron was freaked out. He has never talked about Ally to Elsa, let alone why they broke up. “Elsa, answer me! How do you know that?”
“You... you told me.” She was stuttering, her eyes were desperate to find a more solid answer. Aaron’s eyes widened like he just solved a cold case with finding the final clue right in front of him. He fell quiet and stared at the horizon. “Aaron?” He flashed a smile and chuckled.
“I never did get over you, Ally.”
*wrote this for my english homework. I had to start the story with the first sentence that the story started with.*
“You have three unheard messages, check unheard messages; press one.” Only three? She’s called over fifteen times and she only left three? Hesitant, he pressed one. “First message, ‘Aaron, I know you didn’t mean those things you said. I know I’ve said some things and I’m not the best girlfriend, but I love you, I care for you. Please, call me back so we can talk about this. We can make this work,’” Aaron pressed the number seven key, “Message deleted. Second message, ‘Aaron, I’m really sorry for everything, I know now how much—‘message deleted.”
Aaron was about to hang up, she’s been calling nonstop for the past two days but he figured he might as well delete the last message. “Third message, ‘Is this Aaron?’” It was a different voice; he was startled because he was expecting his ex-girlfriends. “’This is Elsa, from Chemistry third period? Our professor gave me your phone number. I was wondering if you still needed a partner...” Aaron’s mind stopped paying attention to the recorded message. He was trying to figure out who she was. Her name sounded familiar, but he had never looked at anyone when he was with Ally, not that he needed to. Ally was every guy’s dream girl, physically of course. But that’s not why he started dating her. He went out with her because she was interesting, different, independent and unique. But ever since summer, she became clingy, paranoid and dependant. She would be mad at him for talking to other girls, make a scene when a girl would attract his attention at the mall, and would ignore him for weeks when he forgot to call. She had him on a strict leash, but he endured it, until, of course, the day of their breakup, “...so call me back when you can. Thanks.” Aaron called her back without giving it a second thought.
Time flew by and it’s been over a year since Aaron broke up with Ally. He hasn’t had a missed call from Ally in a while and he was getting closer to Elsa. He even suspected that Elsa might have been attracted to him, but he placed that silly notion behind him. You’re just being too confident now, he would remind himself.
“What’s wrong Aaron?” Elsa and Aaron would spend most of their time together, studying or just hanging out. Today, they’re just sitting at a park bench, enjoying the view. Aaron enjoyed his time with Elsa but there was something about Elsa that reminded him of Ally, the way she talked, the way she thinks about things, the way she reacts to certain conversations. Elsa seemed to be too similar to Ally. He would’ve asked Elsa out if it wasn’t for that.
“Oh nothing, did I tell you how you remind me of my ex-girlfriend?” He found himself shocked that those words came out of his mouth.
“Really? So that means I’m your type?” She was trying to hide her cheeks turning rosy red.
“Why are you blushing for?” Aaron took that blush to confirm she was attracted to him.
“I think it’s quite obvious, don’t you?” Now he knew he wasn’t just being confident. But how was he supposed to let her know that he’s still not ready? After what Ally placed him through, he didn’t think he can ever trust someone at that intimate level.
“I don’t want a relationship...with you.” Again, Aaron found himself bewildered at what he just said. It’s as if his mind didn’t even want to sugar coat what he’s about to say.
“What?” She moved away from him. She didn’t know how to react. No one’s ever said that to her. “Do you not find me attractive?”
“You’re beautiful, but I just don’t think we should be in a relationship together.”
“Why not!” She was starting to cause a scene, and even though it was at the park, there were a lot of people walking by.
“Because, I told you, you remind me of my ex-girlfriend!”
“What’s wrong with Ally? She may have cheated on you, but she’s miserable when you’re not around! She loves you...”
“Elsa... how did you know Ally cheated on me? I never told you how we broke up. In fact, I’ve never mentioned her name to you.” Elsa looked like she was searching her brain for an answer, but Aaron was freaked out. He has never talked about Ally to Elsa, let alone why they broke up. “Elsa, answer me! How do you know that?”
“You... you told me.” She was stuttering, her eyes were desperate to find a more solid answer. Aaron’s eyes widened like he just solved a cold case with finding the final clue right in front of him. He fell quiet and stared at the horizon. “Aaron?” He flashed a smile and chuckled.
“I never did get over you, Ally.”
*wrote this for my english homework. I had to start the story with the first sentence that the story started with.*
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Words of Wisdom?
she said (12:21 AM):
help ya get the girl you want
and im saying this as a friend btw
you come off as to easy
dont let girls know
you want them
like little jokes like that
cause they know its not a joke\
next
she said (12:22 AM):
if you keep asking the girl if she misses you or likes you
then she might get turned off cause it gets irritating
she said (12:23 AM):
if she misses you\
she will tell you
and last but not least
girls like the chase
even though we say we hate it
secretly we love it
love how we can't get that guy
\
she said (12:24 AM):
nothinng against you
.lєzαdα,αngelo; hmwrk says (12:25 AM):
haha,
.lєzαdα,αngelo; hmwrk says (12:26 AM):
interesting.
she said (12:26 AM):
i know
trust
youll get so many girls
if you follow that
help ya get the girl you want
and im saying this as a friend btw
you come off as to easy
dont let girls know
you want them
like little jokes like that
cause they know its not a joke\
next
she said (12:22 AM):
if you keep asking the girl if she misses you or likes you
then she might get turned off cause it gets irritating
she said (12:23 AM):
if she misses you\
she will tell you
and last but not least
girls like the chase
even though we say we hate it
secretly we love it
love how we can't get that guy
\
she said (12:24 AM):
nothinng against you
.lєzαdα,αngelo; hmwrk says (12:25 AM):
haha,
.lєzαdα,αngelo; hmwrk says (12:26 AM):
interesting.
she said (12:26 AM):
i know
trust
youll get so many girls
if you follow that
Libraries are fun !
Find me in the library studying,
Or out in the streets hustling
Making a living, hella focused now.
I only have myself to blame if it all falls down
But it wont, I've lifted off, I ain't going back down.
Cuz I've touched the sky, and I don't see the ground
All I see is clouds, and that's how it's gonna stay.
I'm reaching my goals, I don't care what you have to say.
Got my eyes on the prize, I'm leaving you behind.
And your lies can't hide me from claiming what's mine.
Say what you want, it'll fuel my determination.
I don't care what you say, like a terrorist interrogation.
Or out in the streets hustling
Making a living, hella focused now.
I only have myself to blame if it all falls down
But it wont, I've lifted off, I ain't going back down.
Cuz I've touched the sky, and I don't see the ground
All I see is clouds, and that's how it's gonna stay.
I'm reaching my goals, I don't care what you have to say.
Got my eyes on the prize, I'm leaving you behind.
And your lies can't hide me from claiming what's mine.
Say what you want, it'll fuel my determination.
I don't care what you say, like a terrorist interrogation.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Schoool!
So I've been busy with school lately.
I actually didn't do much homework today.
I wasn't in the writing mood.
On the bright side, I have english this semester.
And most of the work involves creativity and imagination.
My forte, I suppose.
Anyways, for now, I'll post up my work that I've submitted (not homework, but poetry and whatnots when my class gets to that chapter)
BUT I did hand in Waking Up for my first short story. I got a 20/20 from it and my teacher thought it was a well written story. But I got deducted two marks for not following rules. So I ended up with an 18/20. I forgot to double space and my work was over the 2-4 pages limit. But I'll pay that two point deduction for a chance for people to read my work.
Anyways, Goodnight world.
I actually didn't do much homework today.
I wasn't in the writing mood.
On the bright side, I have english this semester.
And most of the work involves creativity and imagination.
My forte, I suppose.
Anyways, for now, I'll post up my work that I've submitted (not homework, but poetry and whatnots when my class gets to that chapter)
BUT I did hand in Waking Up for my first short story. I got a 20/20 from it and my teacher thought it was a well written story. But I got deducted two marks for not following rules. So I ended up with an 18/20. I forgot to double space and my work was over the 2-4 pages limit. But I'll pay that two point deduction for a chance for people to read my work.
Anyways, Goodnight world.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Time's Ticking.
I'm affectionate, but you're starting to get on my nerves.
Seriosuly, I'm getting sick of putting more effort than you.
Real talks, you're time's ticking.
Seriosuly, I'm getting sick of putting more effort than you.
Real talks, you're time's ticking.
Monday, September 7, 2009
FYI
If you're looking for a man to hold you down
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a guy to flatter you
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a person to be there for you all the time
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a human being who's nice and kind
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a person to talk to about life
I'm not that person
Because I'm not a person
I'm something else.
I'm me.
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a guy to flatter you
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a person to be there for you all the time
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a human being who's nice and kind
I'm not that person
If you're looking for a person to talk to about life
I'm not that person
Because I'm not a person
I'm something else.
I'm me.
Muskoka
Just got back from there, I gotta admit, it's pretty chill there. Might wanna go cottage-ing there with friends next year.
I just wanted to tell you guys, whoever still reads this, that yes, I'm still alive. I'm working (kinda) on three albums of photos, so look forward to that. But on a random note.
"It's hard dating a slut, just ask my girlfriend."
Kaythxbai.
I just wanted to tell you guys, whoever still reads this, that yes, I'm still alive. I'm working (kinda) on three albums of photos, so look forward to that. But on a random note.
"It's hard dating a slut, just ask my girlfriend."
Kaythxbai.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Two Years.
Two years of my life went by
And this right here, is a testimony that time does fly by.
Looking back through pictures, reminding myself
Those who were there and who stayed around to help
From my days at ward, to libermann, to fraiser and now
Wondering how did 730 days fly by without me hearing a sound
From the ground's perspective, nothing's changed.
If it wasn't for pictures, I wouldn't have noticed my physical features been rearranged.
From my hairstyle to my clothing wear, to the glasses I need
To the way I speak, the people I meet and what I believe.
To my hopes and dreams, goals and my future for when I'm grown
But at least now, I'm sure that I'll do good on my own.
From the crew I chill with, to the boys I kick with
From the way I think, to the way I spit.
I've changed, and it's laughable how
I always said I'll never be that, look at me now.
From a nice guy, to a flirt, to a falling for the wrong types
To a heart breaking motherfucker, to a I can get any girl hype
From a I'm not good enough to I'm too cute for that chick
From a I hope she'll chill with me, to a there's too many of them on my dick
From a ride or die kinda guy to a don't bring your fucking drama here
But I'll still ride or die for family, that's still the same from two years.
From a nerdy child, eager to learn and looking forward to his career
It was worthwhile, to learn to burn and handle a few beers.
I still know where I'm heading, I havent lost sight
But now, I can say that I'll actually put up a fight.
I'm a different man, not a kid anymore, all grown up.
An indifferent man, who don't kid anymore, life's been tough.
I'm not as caring as I use to be, I actually don't give a fuck.
And I'm not acting tough, sometimes, I just don't give a fuck.
I'm more passionate, believer in fate, and I do fuck around.
But I'm more caring, especially those who's still holding me down.
You know who you are, it's been a long motherfucking journey.
From the minute we met, who knew we'd end up chilling like family.
Egotistic Productions, all day, don't sleep on us now.
That's family right there, two years in the making, we're world bound.
Perfecting our skills like the blades ninjas assassinate with
We growing big, growing up, you better know who you're fucking with.
SINematic
07-09
Egotistic Productions
Two years in the making.
We're working on it.
And this right here, is a testimony that time does fly by.
Looking back through pictures, reminding myself
Those who were there and who stayed around to help
From my days at ward, to libermann, to fraiser and now
Wondering how did 730 days fly by without me hearing a sound
From the ground's perspective, nothing's changed.
If it wasn't for pictures, I wouldn't have noticed my physical features been rearranged.
From my hairstyle to my clothing wear, to the glasses I need
To the way I speak, the people I meet and what I believe.
To my hopes and dreams, goals and my future for when I'm grown
But at least now, I'm sure that I'll do good on my own.
From the crew I chill with, to the boys I kick with
From the way I think, to the way I spit.
I've changed, and it's laughable how
I always said I'll never be that, look at me now.
From a nice guy, to a flirt, to a falling for the wrong types
To a heart breaking motherfucker, to a I can get any girl hype
From a I'm not good enough to I'm too cute for that chick
From a I hope she'll chill with me, to a there's too many of them on my dick
From a ride or die kinda guy to a don't bring your fucking drama here
But I'll still ride or die for family, that's still the same from two years.
From a nerdy child, eager to learn and looking forward to his career
It was worthwhile, to learn to burn and handle a few beers.
I still know where I'm heading, I havent lost sight
But now, I can say that I'll actually put up a fight.
I'm a different man, not a kid anymore, all grown up.
An indifferent man, who don't kid anymore, life's been tough.
I'm not as caring as I use to be, I actually don't give a fuck.
And I'm not acting tough, sometimes, I just don't give a fuck.
I'm more passionate, believer in fate, and I do fuck around.
But I'm more caring, especially those who's still holding me down.
You know who you are, it's been a long motherfucking journey.
From the minute we met, who knew we'd end up chilling like family.
Egotistic Productions, all day, don't sleep on us now.
That's family right there, two years in the making, we're world bound.
Perfecting our skills like the blades ninjas assassinate with
We growing big, growing up, you better know who you're fucking with.
SINematic
07-09
Egotistic Productions
Two years in the making.
We're working on it.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
What's really good?
Summer is coming to an end, and I'll be spending the rest of my summer in a cottage. I'm kinda excited, I'm hoping to do all the things that I barely get to do, like fishing or canoe-ing.
But today, I went out to take pictures of Beautee's dance crew. I must admit, a lot of them ended up pretty dope. I think I'm going to have a hard time picking which ones not to upload.
I'm kinda sad that I havne't done any writing lately. I think I'm loafting on that creative outlet of mine. Don't worry, I'll be back on it real soon.
But on the bright side, I'm going to end up spending a whole week with Iris. <3
*eighteleven <3
But today, I went out to take pictures of Beautee's dance crew. I must admit, a lot of them ended up pretty dope. I think I'm going to have a hard time picking which ones not to upload.
I'm kinda sad that I havne't done any writing lately. I think I'm loafting on that creative outlet of mine. Don't worry, I'll be back on it real soon.
But on the bright side, I'm going to end up spending a whole week with Iris. <3
*eighteleven <3
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