But still, she hit you hard, without even knowing that she did.
Honestly.
Honestly.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Mind Over Matter.
This post is actually inspired by that movie, Wanted. That one line made me think some things, so if you’re not a fan of my serious topics, then waste time elsewhere.
"If no one ever told you that a bullet went straight, what would you believe?"
It's not the exact words, but the concept is still there. Belief is powerful.
That made me think of that whole idea, if someone didn't tell you its primary function, what would you believe? A great example of this is religion. If you were born into a Hindu family, you'd believe in Hinduism, Christian, Christian, Atheist, etc. Now, put that concept in more materialistic things. If no one told you that cars stayed grounded, what would you think? If no one ever told you that clouds are particles from water that transformed into a gas through evaporation and condensation, what would you believe? If someone told you the water was poisonous and you could die from it, what would happen?
Get this; our minds are a powerful tool. It can make anything possible. Not literally, but mentally. And people exposed this fact. Harry Houdini used this technique in his metal abs that he boasts about. So does Chris Angel and a lot of other stunt artists and illusionist. So many people in the world believe this or have heard of this but they barely apply it to real life. I try to, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.
Let me get back to what if someone told you could die from water. Don't close your mind to the thought that only an idiot would believe that. We're smart because we learn things. Like a person will never know how to swim unless he learns it or is taught. Now, as I mentioned, our minds are powerful. So if you never knew what water is, and someone told you that you could die if you drink it, would your mind correspond to that thought? Would your mind be so convinced that it might actually start shutting down your system just so that it does not contradict your findings? Still don't believe me?
Okay, everything is mental. The whole world revolves around your mind. You hit a wall, you believe you feel pain, therefore you do. You might say that "you feel it, it sends signals through your nerve system and towards your brain, not the other way around." But a lot of ancient warriors trained themselves to "ignore" the pain. Or rather, erase its existence, through rigorous training. With hopes to change their way of thinking. Sure, it's not proving that it's all mental, but that was never my point. My point is that we can change ourselves by changing our thinking. Our whole existence revolves around your mental attitude. And I'll prove it to you. Why do you think parents tell their children, they can be anything? So that they will believe that and will think that anything is possible.
They say that a person becomes himself in his first eight years, everything else is just improvement. What I mean is that when a person is placed in this world, he's already got characteristics prepared, because of his environment. Up to his first eight years, he will take this to heart, because scientists believe that people remember the best in the first eight years of their lives. But as he grows, he adapts to the demands of his era.
I was born in the Philippines. I have a huge family there, so does everyone. This environment influenced my way of thinking, therefore, influenced who I am and how I think. When I was a child, I was surrounded with my cousins having short relationships, and my parents having a loving and committed marriage. Now, for those of you who know me, you can see just how that turned out. I lived with the biggest hospitality known to man, and here I am, so open and kind to strangers that I sometimes can’t believe myself that I am capable of that. Born with parents that always give it their all, no matter the situation, and here I am, placing 100% effort in anything I deem worthy. I could get into more details but I think it’s better if you get to know me the old fashioned way, and not reading through my blog.
But I’ll focus on the relationship portion. Because that’s why I started to write this whole statement. I was just giving you some background information. That line, “If you weren’t told that a bullet went straight, what would you believe?” made me think about my relationships. I was told at a young age that relationships are fun, loving, and special. But life has taught me otherwise. I’ve been through a lot, but somehow, that concept of fun, loving and special still persevere. This is the best proof that I can provide you with how powerful the mind is. I never partake in a relationship that is one sided. I always end up with people who know how to have fun and have a good time. And I try, to my best abilities, to count each relation special. But this is where the short relationships and committed marriage clash.
I get bored easily. And if the relationship ceases to amuse me, it falters. That remains the same, sadly. I use to always give too much and girls never liked that, so I adapted and I changed, quite drastically. Special isn’t a word anymore as I’ve had one too many, but I’m back on that “girlfriends are special” mindset. And there showcases another point. I always forget how special relationships are supposed to be. Events in my life are a testimony on how much I forgot that magic that is included in a legit relationship. But with recent events, I remembered that feeling, and it has changed my outlook on dating. Thanks to this adaptation, I’ve become quite picky when falling for another chick. I suppose that’s a good thing, but I’ve seemed to have created a wall that doesn’t look like it’ll be torn down anytime soon. What I’m saying is that, no one has really impressed me, and if that insults you, then fair warning. I’m not as nice as I use to be. I adapted.
My point? Life changes you, there’s never an easy choice. I don’t pick one or the other, I find a compromise, because life’s taught me to never let go of things worth fighting for easily. Even if the other option is just as equal. If you like another person but you’re still with a current boyfriend, don’t let go of one just for the other. Let your friendship grow with the other person, you never know, maybe it’s just infatuation, maybe not. Maybe that new friend is what you’ve been waiting for. Or maybe that person is the kind of competition your boyfriend needs to take you seriously again. Whatever it is, find a compromise. See how anti-slut that analogy was? But I bet, if I substituted the boyfriend for girlfriend, you would flip a switch. Find a middle path, find content, never feel dissatisfaction.
I believe that no one will ever match the full extent of what my love can offer. After all, what’s the point of doing something, unless you do it whole heartedly? If you think you can prove me wrong, then be my guest. I’ve been waiting for a while for someone to prove me wrong in regards to how relationships are.
Then again, maybe this feeling will last as long as my relationships do.
Regardless, this is who I am, and I have never changed who I am for anyone.
So with all that said, I believe that things happen for a reason and I think I’ve finally started believing that there is someone out there for me.
Because I was told that you’re not complete until you find your other half.
So, Ms Other Half, can you find me soon? I miss your companionship.
"If no one ever told you that a bullet went straight, what would you believe?"
It's not the exact words, but the concept is still there. Belief is powerful.
That made me think of that whole idea, if someone didn't tell you its primary function, what would you believe? A great example of this is religion. If you were born into a Hindu family, you'd believe in Hinduism, Christian, Christian, Atheist, etc. Now, put that concept in more materialistic things. If no one told you that cars stayed grounded, what would you think? If no one ever told you that clouds are particles from water that transformed into a gas through evaporation and condensation, what would you believe? If someone told you the water was poisonous and you could die from it, what would happen?
Get this; our minds are a powerful tool. It can make anything possible. Not literally, but mentally. And people exposed this fact. Harry Houdini used this technique in his metal abs that he boasts about. So does Chris Angel and a lot of other stunt artists and illusionist. So many people in the world believe this or have heard of this but they barely apply it to real life. I try to, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.
Let me get back to what if someone told you could die from water. Don't close your mind to the thought that only an idiot would believe that. We're smart because we learn things. Like a person will never know how to swim unless he learns it or is taught. Now, as I mentioned, our minds are powerful. So if you never knew what water is, and someone told you that you could die if you drink it, would your mind correspond to that thought? Would your mind be so convinced that it might actually start shutting down your system just so that it does not contradict your findings? Still don't believe me?
Okay, everything is mental. The whole world revolves around your mind. You hit a wall, you believe you feel pain, therefore you do. You might say that "you feel it, it sends signals through your nerve system and towards your brain, not the other way around." But a lot of ancient warriors trained themselves to "ignore" the pain. Or rather, erase its existence, through rigorous training. With hopes to change their way of thinking. Sure, it's not proving that it's all mental, but that was never my point. My point is that we can change ourselves by changing our thinking. Our whole existence revolves around your mental attitude. And I'll prove it to you. Why do you think parents tell their children, they can be anything? So that they will believe that and will think that anything is possible.
They say that a person becomes himself in his first eight years, everything else is just improvement. What I mean is that when a person is placed in this world, he's already got characteristics prepared, because of his environment. Up to his first eight years, he will take this to heart, because scientists believe that people remember the best in the first eight years of their lives. But as he grows, he adapts to the demands of his era.
I was born in the Philippines. I have a huge family there, so does everyone. This environment influenced my way of thinking, therefore, influenced who I am and how I think. When I was a child, I was surrounded with my cousins having short relationships, and my parents having a loving and committed marriage. Now, for those of you who know me, you can see just how that turned out. I lived with the biggest hospitality known to man, and here I am, so open and kind to strangers that I sometimes can’t believe myself that I am capable of that. Born with parents that always give it their all, no matter the situation, and here I am, placing 100% effort in anything I deem worthy. I could get into more details but I think it’s better if you get to know me the old fashioned way, and not reading through my blog.
But I’ll focus on the relationship portion. Because that’s why I started to write this whole statement. I was just giving you some background information. That line, “If you weren’t told that a bullet went straight, what would you believe?” made me think about my relationships. I was told at a young age that relationships are fun, loving, and special. But life has taught me otherwise. I’ve been through a lot, but somehow, that concept of fun, loving and special still persevere. This is the best proof that I can provide you with how powerful the mind is. I never partake in a relationship that is one sided. I always end up with people who know how to have fun and have a good time. And I try, to my best abilities, to count each relation special. But this is where the short relationships and committed marriage clash.
I get bored easily. And if the relationship ceases to amuse me, it falters. That remains the same, sadly. I use to always give too much and girls never liked that, so I adapted and I changed, quite drastically. Special isn’t a word anymore as I’ve had one too many, but I’m back on that “girlfriends are special” mindset. And there showcases another point. I always forget how special relationships are supposed to be. Events in my life are a testimony on how much I forgot that magic that is included in a legit relationship. But with recent events, I remembered that feeling, and it has changed my outlook on dating. Thanks to this adaptation, I’ve become quite picky when falling for another chick. I suppose that’s a good thing, but I’ve seemed to have created a wall that doesn’t look like it’ll be torn down anytime soon. What I’m saying is that, no one has really impressed me, and if that insults you, then fair warning. I’m not as nice as I use to be. I adapted.
My point? Life changes you, there’s never an easy choice. I don’t pick one or the other, I find a compromise, because life’s taught me to never let go of things worth fighting for easily. Even if the other option is just as equal. If you like another person but you’re still with a current boyfriend, don’t let go of one just for the other. Let your friendship grow with the other person, you never know, maybe it’s just infatuation, maybe not. Maybe that new friend is what you’ve been waiting for. Or maybe that person is the kind of competition your boyfriend needs to take you seriously again. Whatever it is, find a compromise. See how anti-slut that analogy was? But I bet, if I substituted the boyfriend for girlfriend, you would flip a switch. Find a middle path, find content, never feel dissatisfaction.
I believe that no one will ever match the full extent of what my love can offer. After all, what’s the point of doing something, unless you do it whole heartedly? If you think you can prove me wrong, then be my guest. I’ve been waiting for a while for someone to prove me wrong in regards to how relationships are.
Then again, maybe this feeling will last as long as my relationships do.
Regardless, this is who I am, and I have never changed who I am for anyone.
So with all that said, I believe that things happen for a reason and I think I’ve finally started believing that there is someone out there for me.
Because I was told that you’re not complete until you find your other half.
So, Ms Other Half, can you find me soon? I miss your companionship.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Strictly.
Okay, let's start off with today's amazing event. So I went bowling by myself because my dad got mad. I took a taxi down to the bowling alley, about five blocks down. Costed me five dollars flat to get there. Good thing the owners of the bowling alley recognizes me, so that I can pay when I finish how ever many games I choose to play. Without the pressure of "this is my last game" mindset. So as I started to play, I did horrible on my first, and decent on my second. Then this guy, who I always see at the bowling alley on thursdays and saturdays was in the lane next to me. He challenged me to three games. And we placed money on it. Five bucks per game. So, naturally, I tried to back out, because he normally averages 180 when I see him play. But he said how he's been there for a while now and his scores were about my level. So I accepted. So we played, I managed to score up a 157, 163 and an aweomse 189. His scores were 176, 164 and a 152. But he was surprised that my last game was the highest that he paid for my whole bowling trip. So he basically spent $50 on some guy that he faced. I was happy and it was a great experience, facing someone new. I think when I'm a bit older, I'm going to challenge random people in bowling alleys, just for the sake of the sport and the competition.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
3:15AM
My internet's still alive!
Just wanted to commemorate this.
Most of you guys know the significance of this amazing mishap. LOL
Kay, I'm tired.
Hope you guys are doing well.
Goodnight and safe travels.
Until next time!
Just wanted to commemorate this.
Most of you guys know the significance of this amazing mishap. LOL
Kay, I'm tired.
Hope you guys are doing well.
Goodnight and safe travels.
Until next time!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Sleepless Nights. [Preview]
(Since Marcus [http://superegotron.blogspot.com] and John [http://snucksforthewin.blogspot.com] have all released some sort of story, I figured I'd show you guys a preview of the story I am working on. It's something new, as I do tend to try to write new things as I evolve as writer. And here you go.)
My condition must be affecting my brain. Every time I open my eyes, it seems to take a while for my mind to recall my memories. I didn’t think it was possible for a human brain to lag. Regardless, I knew that I was going to die. It’s inevitable. I spend my time waiting for the Grim Reaper and pondering my entire life while lying on this hospital bed. I guess what my parents said were true, I was never the optimistic type. But how could one be optimistic when his own doctors have placed him on death row? My parents have accepted the fact that I was to pass away. It seems like the only people who are hoping for me to survive are my siblings. How innocent they are, to hold hopes up to the point of impossibility. But a year ago, no one knew that this was to be my fate.
I took care of myself, ate regularly and healthily, exercised daily and made sure I was in top shape. After all, my curriculum in high school depended on me being physically and mentally fit. But if I knew that this was to be my fate, I would’ve spent more time enjoying life than focused on the future that I’ll never live.
It happened almost nine months ago. I was diagnosed with a weak immune system. The doctors had told me that if I took the proper medication, it would be like my immune system was not crippled by a biological mishap. Sometimes I wish that I was not born with an immune system, but I do wish that now, more than ever. The medication failed to do their job when a new virus was introduced into our ecosystem. Most people were sick for a few days and shrugged it off like a common cold. But when I was struck with this unfortunate bacterium, it was more serious. It not only made my medicine useless, it weakened my system far greater than any other virus. In other words, this harmless disease to normal beings became the reason for my condition.
Of course I went through all the stages of grief. I went through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, with each stage having their own comical tale. But I’ve already reached acceptance along with most of those in my life. I spend my days lying on this bed, staring at the window and watching people smile in the courtyard of this facility. I grew a hatred for the outside world. I grew hatred for everything around me. After all, how could I not? I was unlucky enough to draw the short straw and I was destined to be doomed. I hated feeling helpless the most. I sighed as I heard a knock on my door.
“Can I come in?” the familiar voice always brought light to my life. Her head peeked through the door and I found myself reflecting her smile.
My condition must be affecting my brain. Every time I open my eyes, it seems to take a while for my mind to recall my memories. I didn’t think it was possible for a human brain to lag. Regardless, I knew that I was going to die. It’s inevitable. I spend my time waiting for the Grim Reaper and pondering my entire life while lying on this hospital bed. I guess what my parents said were true, I was never the optimistic type. But how could one be optimistic when his own doctors have placed him on death row? My parents have accepted the fact that I was to pass away. It seems like the only people who are hoping for me to survive are my siblings. How innocent they are, to hold hopes up to the point of impossibility. But a year ago, no one knew that this was to be my fate.
I took care of myself, ate regularly and healthily, exercised daily and made sure I was in top shape. After all, my curriculum in high school depended on me being physically and mentally fit. But if I knew that this was to be my fate, I would’ve spent more time enjoying life than focused on the future that I’ll never live.
It happened almost nine months ago. I was diagnosed with a weak immune system. The doctors had told me that if I took the proper medication, it would be like my immune system was not crippled by a biological mishap. Sometimes I wish that I was not born with an immune system, but I do wish that now, more than ever. The medication failed to do their job when a new virus was introduced into our ecosystem. Most people were sick for a few days and shrugged it off like a common cold. But when I was struck with this unfortunate bacterium, it was more serious. It not only made my medicine useless, it weakened my system far greater than any other virus. In other words, this harmless disease to normal beings became the reason for my condition.
Of course I went through all the stages of grief. I went through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, with each stage having their own comical tale. But I’ve already reached acceptance along with most of those in my life. I spend my days lying on this bed, staring at the window and watching people smile in the courtyard of this facility. I grew a hatred for the outside world. I grew hatred for everything around me. After all, how could I not? I was unlucky enough to draw the short straw and I was destined to be doomed. I hated feeling helpless the most. I sighed as I heard a knock on my door.
“Can I come in?” the familiar voice always brought light to my life. Her head peeked through the door and I found myself reflecting her smile.
Behind my work.
It's all about self expression.
You can say criticism on how to make it better, and I will keep that at heart.
You can say I'm the worst, and I'll shrug it off.
You can say I'm talented and I'll smile at you.
But at the end of the day, these help me get through my daily struggles.
Self-expression.
Soul searching.
Mainly for myself.
But thank you, for your thoughts.
PS.
I really wish I can type with my mind. My wrist always ends up hurting after a long time spent typing. And watch out for a new short story. I feel like in a telling mood.
You can say criticism on how to make it better, and I will keep that at heart.
You can say I'm the worst, and I'll shrug it off.
You can say I'm talented and I'll smile at you.
But at the end of the day, these help me get through my daily struggles.
Self-expression.
Soul searching.
Mainly for myself.
But thank you, for your thoughts.
PS.
I really wish I can type with my mind. My wrist always ends up hurting after a long time spent typing. And watch out for a new short story. I feel like in a telling mood.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Freeverse Poetry.
A Conversation With Myself.
And if the universe decides to put me in that situation, who am I to deny the will of the unknown?
No, I will accept it and make the best out of the situation that the universe has presented to me.
Because you see, I'm sick of relationship ships, always sinking like the Titanic ship.
From now on, I'll sit on the sidelines, making observations, while partaking in conversations giving out advices, to those in a crisis.
I can open up my own conservation for the broken heart.
Help those who's been torn apart, then left for dead with a missing part.
Recently, I've let my past hurt tell me what I'm worth.
Because long ago, I thought I knew what love was.
But that notion left me with battle scars reminders of what was.
It was almost a year back when I thought I had that word figured out.
Telling myself that, this is what life's all about.
But the cycle can't be denied, like how the truth can never hide.
In seven words or less, I hoped it ended for the best.
But right now, I feel like I'm being held down.
And that's kept me from opening up, so that I'll never fuck up and left fucked up.
But I'm done with that.
I'm back and I've placed the flashbacks and all that in the deepest corner of my mind.
Left it behind and moving forward to a new time.
New memories to replace the ones haunting me.
Wait.
Let me start over.
It's obvious that we're bothered with thoughts about the other.
So let's cut to the chase, unless you want to be chased.
I'd like to get to know you inside and out, so that without a doubt, i can confidently say that I know you inside out.
But there's no need to rush, this isn't lust.
Jumping right in fucked me too much, so taking our time, is a definite must.
Let's take it slow, like turtles walking across the sandy beach and into the setting sun.
Have you wanting more with each conversation, have your heart pacing like it was partaking in a triathalon run.
But for now, I'm done, I'm officially retiring, turning in the pink slip.
Because Cupid sends me arrows, but love just seems to give me the slip.
And if the universe decides to put me in that situation, who am I to deny the will of the unknown?
No, I will accept it and make the best out of the situation that the universe has presented to me.
Because you see, I'm sick of relationship ships, always sinking like the Titanic ship.
From now on, I'll sit on the sidelines, making observations, while partaking in conversations giving out advices, to those in a crisis.
I can open up my own conservation for the broken heart.
Help those who's been torn apart, then left for dead with a missing part.
Recently, I've let my past hurt tell me what I'm worth.
Because long ago, I thought I knew what love was.
But that notion left me with battle scars reminders of what was.
It was almost a year back when I thought I had that word figured out.
Telling myself that, this is what life's all about.
But the cycle can't be denied, like how the truth can never hide.
In seven words or less, I hoped it ended for the best.
But right now, I feel like I'm being held down.
And that's kept me from opening up, so that I'll never fuck up and left fucked up.
But I'm done with that.
I'm back and I've placed the flashbacks and all that in the deepest corner of my mind.
Left it behind and moving forward to a new time.
New memories to replace the ones haunting me.
Wait.
Let me start over.
It's obvious that we're bothered with thoughts about the other.
So let's cut to the chase, unless you want to be chased.
I'd like to get to know you inside and out, so that without a doubt, i can confidently say that I know you inside out.
But there's no need to rush, this isn't lust.
Jumping right in fucked me too much, so taking our time, is a definite must.
Let's take it slow, like turtles walking across the sandy beach and into the setting sun.
Have you wanting more with each conversation, have your heart pacing like it was partaking in a triathalon run.
But for now, I'm done, I'm officially retiring, turning in the pink slip.
Because Cupid sends me arrows, but love just seems to give me the slip.
EFF YOU ORLANDO!
Fifteen seconds left.
Dwight Howard fouled out.
Orlando up by one.
Inbound to Lebron,
Lebron drives in
Pass to Williams
Pass to West
West takes a three shot.
Missed.
Hassle for the ball,
Resulting in a jump ball between Lebron and Turkelov
Lebron tips it to Williams.
Williams throws the ball up.
Hits the rim, bounces high.
Buzzard goes, ball seems like it's going to drop in the net.
Hits the front of the rim.
Cavs lost.
MOTHERFUCK.
Good game still.
Howard's the only force to slow down Lebron.
Unpredictable still.
So much for Cavs sweeping.
Dwight Howard fouled out.
Orlando up by one.
Inbound to Lebron,
Lebron drives in
Pass to Williams
Pass to West
West takes a three shot.
Missed.
Hassle for the ball,
Resulting in a jump ball between Lebron and Turkelov
Lebron tips it to Williams.
Williams throws the ball up.
Hits the rim, bounces high.
Buzzard goes, ball seems like it's going to drop in the net.
Hits the front of the rim.
Cavs lost.
MOTHERFUCK.
Good game still.
Howard's the only force to slow down Lebron.
Unpredictable still.
So much for Cavs sweeping.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Dreams.
I think found my home inside my mind. Pretty odd, but I think I'd like to keep this thought to myself for a while.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
End of my night; start of my day.
So, it's currently 2:30AM and I got stood up by a person I've never met before.
I just hope that she gets home safely.
Time to catch some sleep.
Hope you get home safely madam.
Hopefully, we'll eventually meet.
From what miss Rafal has told me,
you're quite the intriguing character.
Safe travels.
Bonne nuit.
I just hope that she gets home safely.
Time to catch some sleep.
Hope you get home safely madam.
Hopefully, we'll eventually meet.
From what miss Rafal has told me,
you're quite the intriguing character.
Safe travels.
Bonne nuit.
Impatience.
Waiting sucks, I think I've learned how impatient I can be.
I suppose I can wait for another forty five minutes.
I guess that's what I get for being so anxious and nervous.
Oh well, no disappointment there.
Just a wish that I was hoping would come true for once.
But, the night is still young and the sun won't be rising for a while.
The day was pretty good, but the night was just weird.
Real odd.
I'll post up for John and Marcus' curiousity the how my night ended and how my day started.
Talk to you guys in a few hours.
I suppose I can wait for another forty five minutes.
I guess that's what I get for being so anxious and nervous.
Oh well, no disappointment there.
Just a wish that I was hoping would come true for once.
But, the night is still young and the sun won't be rising for a while.
The day was pretty good, but the night was just weird.
Real odd.
I'll post up for John and Marcus' curiousity the how my night ended and how my day started.
Talk to you guys in a few hours.
Ottawa Day Two
The tulip festival was pretty bomb.
I took a million pictures and I'm looking forward to editing them and posting them up real soon.
I'm getting ready to go to a family wedding party.
Anyways, that's all for now folks!
Until next time!
I took a million pictures and I'm looking forward to editing them and posting them up real soon.
I'm getting ready to go to a family wedding party.
Anyways, that's all for now folks!
Until next time!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
I'm hella hungry.
Flight.
Let me put it into the simplest of words...
I've been swept off my feet, picked up from my enclosed world.
Brought to a new place, without recognition of one's face.
Except yours.
Your radiant beauty is something that every little girl wishes to be.
Something that I want to bottle up and so that it'll be reserved for me.
It's like someone opened up my heart and placed back the missing part.
But I refuse.
I refuse to think like this, no, not anymore
I locked up everything, the places where feelings are stored.
And I refuse to be pulled back into another mishap waiting to explode.
But I know myself.
And I think that I might just jump over that cliff again.
Let's hope that this time, I actually take flight.
Let me put it into the simplest of words...
I've been swept off my feet, picked up from my enclosed world.
Brought to a new place, without recognition of one's face.
Except yours.
Your radiant beauty is something that every little girl wishes to be.
Something that I want to bottle up and so that it'll be reserved for me.
It's like someone opened up my heart and placed back the missing part.
But I refuse.
I refuse to think like this, no, not anymore
I locked up everything, the places where feelings are stored.
And I refuse to be pulled back into another mishap waiting to explode.
But I know myself.
And I think that I might just jump over that cliff again.
Let's hope that this time, I actually take flight.
Ottawa Day One
I left my poem at home, and I'm sad.
I won't be able to work on it until I come back on Monday.
Ottawa's pretty great.
The weather's kind of a bummer.
The place looks awesome but the cloudiness of the outside made it not so awesome.
I'm staying at the Marriott Residence Inn and it's an awesome hotel. And the best part is that there's a Tim Hortons right downstairs.
I think I'll never get sick of seeing new places.
I guess my sense of adventure applies to both people and places.
The curiousity in opening up a city or a person's mind to the point that you know everything there is to know, there is no better adventure.
And certainly, not one more fulfilling.
Hm, what else should I add on to this?
Oh yeah, thanks for staying up with me till 6AM.
We talked about the most randomest of things, but it was interesting.
Like you said, you like to think and I do too. :)
Warning or not, I'm stubborn, and I've said before, I'd like to see how things turn out in this situation.
I'd like to see why you thought you had to warn me ahead of time.
Even if this warning says "Beware: Cliff Ahead," I'd still ignore it just to see for myself if it's true or not.
Anyways, I'm sure you remember everything anyways, so there's no point of me restating it.
I guess I'm just restating it for myself if anything.
Hope you have a great weekend.
And yes, I did just make a post dedicated for someone else instead of my usual self benefit.
So, you better feel special :)
I don't know what to think, so I'll stick around and see how things turn out.
I won't be able to work on it until I come back on Monday.
Ottawa's pretty great.
The weather's kind of a bummer.
The place looks awesome but the cloudiness of the outside made it not so awesome.
I'm staying at the Marriott Residence Inn and it's an awesome hotel. And the best part is that there's a Tim Hortons right downstairs.
I think I'll never get sick of seeing new places.
I guess my sense of adventure applies to both people and places.
The curiousity in opening up a city or a person's mind to the point that you know everything there is to know, there is no better adventure.
And certainly, not one more fulfilling.
Hm, what else should I add on to this?
Oh yeah, thanks for staying up with me till 6AM.
We talked about the most randomest of things, but it was interesting.
Like you said, you like to think and I do too. :)
Warning or not, I'm stubborn, and I've said before, I'd like to see how things turn out in this situation.
I'd like to see why you thought you had to warn me ahead of time.
Even if this warning says "Beware: Cliff Ahead," I'd still ignore it just to see for myself if it's true or not.
Anyways, I'm sure you remember everything anyways, so there's no point of me restating it.
I guess I'm just restating it for myself if anything.
Hope you have a great weekend.
And yes, I did just make a post dedicated for someone else instead of my usual self benefit.
So, you better feel special :)
I don't know what to think, so I'll stick around and see how things turn out.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
OTTAWA!
So like I said before in my previous posts, I'm going to Ottawa for the weekend. For the Tulip Festival plus a Family reunion thingy? Or was it a high school reunion for my parents? I don't know exactly. But I'm going to be out this weekend, so I'll try to keep you guys posted. I'm definitely going to take a million pictures. Hopefully my dad's laptop will provide enough space. Anyways, I ate at Pho and I'm freakin full. And I have a korean grill to get at later on with some friends. Shoot, I'm getting faaaaaaaaaaaat. Time to start excersising I suppose.
Okay, so enough randomness, let me remind all of you (I hope there is an "ALL OF YOU") that Egotistic Productions, with the help of AJ Maas from SmokinBarrelStudios and a bunch of people that I haven't asked for their support yet, are making a music video. Of what you may wonder? Of Egotron's (aka superEGOtron aka Marcus Lomboy aka MarcIs Marcus) song, How I Met Your Mother. Haven't heard the song yet? Click the link that will come up later on in the post and go listen to it. And if you're interested in partaking in this awesomeness collaboration between the most interesting of minds, contact me through facebook. Search up Havyou Met Angelo Lezada in the Toronto, ON network. Send me a message, add me, do everything humanely possible to get in contact with me if you are sincerely interested in partaking.
Okay, that's all for now. And I just want to add a shoutout to my newest fan, sorry for those who are already fans, I just thought I'd write this because she's "stalking" me now.
So, hello to you Miss Jovily Gabuten. And welcome to my blogspot. Feel free to read up on old posts and junk. I'm pretty boring, but I hope it helps you pass the time!
Okay, that's it.
Oh, and don't forget to watch Bliss, if you haven't seen it. It's a short film brought to you by SmokinBarrelStudios. It's awesome, you should watch it. I hope you all have a great long weekend, unless you're outside of Canada. But if you are outside of Canada and happen to read this, I just have to say, HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU GET TO MY SITE? Actually, that question applies to those outside of my social network too. LOL. Anyways, as always, feel free to uhm.. comment. Though no one really does :( LOL.
Okay, I think this is the first legit blog post I've done in a while.
Until next time!
PS
If you're going to be in Ottawa and would like to meet me,416 579 0014 ;)
Apparently, it worked for Snucks, so, who knows. LOL
And here's Marcus' song!
http://superegotron.blogspot.com/2009/04/finite.html
Wash your hands and avoid the swine flu!
Okay, so enough randomness, let me remind all of you (I hope there is an "ALL OF YOU") that Egotistic Productions, with the help of AJ Maas from SmokinBarrelStudios and a bunch of people that I haven't asked for their support yet, are making a music video. Of what you may wonder? Of Egotron's (aka superEGOtron aka Marcus Lomboy aka MarcIs Marcus) song, How I Met Your Mother. Haven't heard the song yet? Click the link that will come up later on in the post and go listen to it. And if you're interested in partaking in this awesomeness collaboration between the most interesting of minds, contact me through facebook. Search up Havyou Met Angelo Lezada in the Toronto, ON network. Send me a message, add me, do everything humanely possible to get in contact with me if you are sincerely interested in partaking.
Okay, that's all for now. And I just want to add a shoutout to my newest fan, sorry for those who are already fans, I just thought I'd write this because she's "stalking" me now.
So, hello to you Miss Jovily Gabuten. And welcome to my blogspot. Feel free to read up on old posts and junk. I'm pretty boring, but I hope it helps you pass the time!
Okay, that's it.
Oh, and don't forget to watch Bliss, if you haven't seen it. It's a short film brought to you by SmokinBarrelStudios. It's awesome, you should watch it. I hope you all have a great long weekend, unless you're outside of Canada. But if you are outside of Canada and happen to read this, I just have to say, HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU GET TO MY SITE? Actually, that question applies to those outside of my social network too. LOL. Anyways, as always, feel free to uhm.. comment. Though no one really does :( LOL.
Okay, I think this is the first legit blog post I've done in a while.
Until next time!
PS
If you're going to be in Ottawa and would like to meet me,
Apparently, it worked for Snucks, so, who knows. LOL
And here's Marcus' song!
http://superegotron.blogspot.com/2009/04/finite.html
Wash your hands and avoid the swine flu!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Crash.
So, I'm suppose to be working on an ISU. But I'm procrastinating. Started my weekend off early, since I'm going to Ottawa tommorow. Going to start packing tommorow night.
And the sad news is that flickr.com will stop hosting their free pro account if you have a rogers account. That makes me real sad. So I will take advantage of the pro account before they make their change. So hopefully, they keep it unchanged until the end of summer, or they change their minds about making that transition.
And the sad news is that flickr.com will stop hosting their free pro account if you have a rogers account. That makes me real sad. So I will take advantage of the pro account before they make their change. So hopefully, they keep it unchanged until the end of summer, or they change their minds about making that transition.
Mercy.
Doing a little Youtube-ing and I stumbled upon this great song. I liked it, hopefully you will too.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Verdict:Bliss
Hello fans, imaginary or not. I'd like to share with you a short film done by my great friend AJ Maas and his group of friends. Who I also know, but I'm doing this for AJ because he wanted my opinion.
So here we go.
Bliss; defined as a state of extreme happiness. I found it real ironic that in the movie, there was barely any signs of extreme happiness, or bliss. So that's already a biased review.
Plot; The story of bliss is totally original. The whole scenario is totally exageratted, in a sense of it probably won't be happening any time soon. It's bordering in fairytale and realistic. A lot of symbolism that I saw, like Catherine, Noah's girlfriend, particular events where Noah decides to help Catherine and the other little characters. I loved the tie in with the cousin and the first victim. That was a total plus for me. The best part, and screw you readers if you'll hate me for ruining it, was the ending. When he ended up where he found Catherine, I thought that was awesome. This is my interpretation, though it's not what yours is, I'm sure you'll appreciate that I thought about it this way. Catherine is the city, corrupt and feeds off other corrupt and evil criminals. And by Noah feeding Catherine the various prostitutes, whores, etc, Noah too became submerged in that corrupt world. The whole thing with Gary's character (forgot his name) and how Gary first signified the evil and hate in the city, sort of pushing Noah to create a totally new persona was a great fire starter for the story. I love the thin ice relationships all the characters had with one another. The scenes where Noah would go hunting, per se, were acted greatly. When the story was beginning to sway in that direction, I was wondering if you had the right idea in how to pull off the criminal scenes. I could go on, but my mind's beginning to fade from a lack of the cousin of death. The only downpart was I felt like you compacted a big story into a short film. Something like what they did to Harry Potter & LOTR, but when you have deadlines, you have deadlines.
Film wise; The angles of the various shot were awesome. Cutting from one angle to another, film wise, kept me interested. Though I must admit, that the camera person was a bit shaky here and there, it's nothing to bring down the overall status of the movie. I'm still wondering how you could trust your camera to stand at that angle when Noah's girlfriend broke up with him. (Again, screw you readers, just watch the damn film already.) The various effects portrayed in the movie, was awesome. Particularly liked the blood in shooting Sean's character's cousin. And I do hope you didn't really cut yourself.
Overall verdict, it was a great watch, I'd definitely refer it to my imaginary audience, but apparently I do have an audience. The plot was great, though like I said, the compactness of the film did raise a bit of plot hole questions here and there. But it's a definite must watch.
So for my readers out there, check out this short film by AJ Maas and his crew at SmokinBarrelStudios. It's a definite must see short film, and I look forward in your aid for my music video project. Keep up the great work.
So here we go.
Bliss; defined as a state of extreme happiness. I found it real ironic that in the movie, there was barely any signs of extreme happiness, or bliss. So that's already a biased review.
Plot; The story of bliss is totally original. The whole scenario is totally exageratted, in a sense of it probably won't be happening any time soon. It's bordering in fairytale and realistic. A lot of symbolism that I saw, like Catherine, Noah's girlfriend, particular events where Noah decides to help Catherine and the other little characters. I loved the tie in with the cousin and the first victim. That was a total plus for me. The best part, and screw you readers if you'll hate me for ruining it, was the ending. When he ended up where he found Catherine, I thought that was awesome. This is my interpretation, though it's not what yours is, I'm sure you'll appreciate that I thought about it this way. Catherine is the city, corrupt and feeds off other corrupt and evil criminals. And by Noah feeding Catherine the various prostitutes, whores, etc, Noah too became submerged in that corrupt world. The whole thing with Gary's character (forgot his name) and how Gary first signified the evil and hate in the city, sort of pushing Noah to create a totally new persona was a great fire starter for the story. I love the thin ice relationships all the characters had with one another. The scenes where Noah would go hunting, per se, were acted greatly. When the story was beginning to sway in that direction, I was wondering if you had the right idea in how to pull off the criminal scenes. I could go on, but my mind's beginning to fade from a lack of the cousin of death. The only downpart was I felt like you compacted a big story into a short film. Something like what they did to Harry Potter & LOTR, but when you have deadlines, you have deadlines.
Film wise; The angles of the various shot were awesome. Cutting from one angle to another, film wise, kept me interested. Though I must admit, that the camera person was a bit shaky here and there, it's nothing to bring down the overall status of the movie. I'm still wondering how you could trust your camera to stand at that angle when Noah's girlfriend broke up with him. (Again, screw you readers, just watch the damn film already.) The various effects portrayed in the movie, was awesome. Particularly liked the blood in shooting Sean's character's cousin. And I do hope you didn't really cut yourself.
Overall verdict, it was a great watch, I'd definitely refer it to my imaginary audience, but apparently I do have an audience. The plot was great, though like I said, the compactness of the film did raise a bit of plot hole questions here and there. But it's a definite must watch.
So for my readers out there, check out this short film by AJ Maas and his crew at SmokinBarrelStudios. It's a definite must see short film, and I look forward in your aid for my music video project. Keep up the great work.
And if you guys have any questions, they'll be more than happy to answer them. Just email your questions at :
smokinbarrelstudios@gmail.com, hope you guys enjoy their movie as much as I did!
Until next time!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Project Things!
What: Music Video
Why: Cuz we're awesome!
Who: Egotistic Productions + AJ Maas + Randoms.
Where: Everywhere
How: Magic!
When: In a month's time!
Okay, we're looking for casts. So if you think you got what it takes, get at us. Kay, I'm too tired. Hope to hear from y'all soon.
Why: Cuz we're awesome!
Who: Egotistic Productions + AJ Maas + Randoms.
Where: Everywhere
How: Magic!
When: In a month's time!
Okay, we're looking for casts. So if you think you got what it takes, get at us. Kay, I'm too tired. Hope to hear from y'all soon.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Maturity.
So we all have grown, even if we don't realize it. From our wannabe gangster phases to the young adults we all grow up to be. I think there comes a point in our life that we realize that if we want people to take us seriously, we need to look presentable. We grow up, go through so many things that we lose count in the little things. But we do remember the most the painful and hurtful events of our lives. The ones that pushed us to the limit and made us rethink the whole world. The ones that made our lives that much better, yet in a matter of seconds, broke us down without a second glance. We have the right to hate those people with passion exceeding the passion that God has portrayed, but we don't hate them. At least not to that extent. We keep them around, but place them at a distance so far, that we barely message them on msn or even give them a call. They're like scars, a reminder of what was and how things got here now. We'll never forget those scars because there's always going to be a reminder. Even fifty years from now, I'm sure we'll remember the one who took us down and pushed our sanity to the edge. And maybe, one day, our old age will help us forget it all. I just want to forget so much, I want to forget so many hurtful memories. Most of all, I want to forget you. I want to forget a lot of people, I want to forget myself. So that I can get away from this cycle that I find myself entrapped in. This is ridiculous, I'm having a battle with myself, and I'm losing. The reality of it all is that as much as I don't miss you anymore, I can't help but feel that things could've gone another way. I think I'm stuck on this stupid what if, because I'm too stubborn to let it go. I said I want to stay single, but truth of the matter, I'm still recovering from the wounds you inflicted. I still feel like if I did something different that day, things would be different. But the past is past. As you said many times, I'm pretty stupid to keep lingering in the past and looking too much on the future. But where does that leave me? But enough about you. I hate writing so much about you, I'm sick of it. I just wish I would forget you, but at the same time I'm still holding on to you. To us. But that's my own doing, I'm reminiscing about you, beacuse, as sad as it is to say, they were the happiest months of my life.
There are so much people that I'd like to forget. But I can't. As much as I don't want it to be, they are a part of my life. So with that said, I think it'd be easier to forget myself, who I am, because that way, I can put all this behind me. Once and for all.
With that said, this week will be my most unproductive week. Because my dad has a week off and I'm going to take this time to practice my driving and hopefully hide my bad driving habits. That I've already picked up, without my g2 yet. Besides, I'm going to the Ottawa Tulip Festival this weekend. If you, reader, happen to be going there too, and would like to, maybe, meet me (I wouldn't know why though), message me, either here or facebook. Havyou Met Angelo, just search that, and that's me. LOL. I honestly don't mind. I love meeting new people and I'd like more feedbacks about my work. Okay, Ottawa, here I come, in... four days!
There are so much people that I'd like to forget. But I can't. As much as I don't want it to be, they are a part of my life. So with that said, I think it'd be easier to forget myself, who I am, because that way, I can put all this behind me. Once and for all.
With that said, this week will be my most unproductive week. Because my dad has a week off and I'm going to take this time to practice my driving and hopefully hide my bad driving habits. That I've already picked up, without my g2 yet. Besides, I'm going to the Ottawa Tulip Festival this weekend. If you, reader, happen to be going there too, and would like to, maybe, meet me (I wouldn't know why though), message me, either here or facebook. Havyou Met Angelo, just search that, and that's me. LOL. I honestly don't mind. I love meeting new people and I'd like more feedbacks about my work. Okay, Ottawa, here I come, in... four days!
Commercialized.
Shout out to Jonathan Fiorentino and Ben Toral for the awesomeness in that video. Respects. And I'm passing you the awesomeness.
Monday, May 11, 2009
End Result Mother's Day.
Let me tell you about my day.
Woke up real early, went to church with John.
Rushed to STC, bought the above gifts, rushed home, set it up on my mother's bed.
And waited for them to come home.
Glad to say that she was proud of it and real happy.
This was the first Mother's Day that I did something on my own.
And I think I'll keep this tradition alive.
Happy Mother's Day Mom!
Though you need more than one day of recognition,
Know that I'll always love you.
No matter how stupid the arguements we argue are.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day.
"Get in."
"That's what she said"
On another note.
Stupid Cupid, thought I told you to stay away. :)
Thought I found someone worth getting to know, but I think today just proved me otherwise. I'm not being shallow, she's real pretty. But because of my high standards, thickened walls and keeping my heart in a safe, I think I changed my mind, or maybe not. But my reason is that I'm never going to be a rebound again. I'm never going to settle for anything less than what I deserve. Because I realize that it's about cotdamn time that I get someone who I actually deserve. It's about cotdamn time that I find my happiness. Because I think, by now, I earned true bliss. But whatever, I'm sick of always thinking about this. And I'm not being biased. What I heard today, that just a sign for me to drop all of this and not even bother. Regardless of what snucks says about you, regardless of how the first thing he told me was that you're down for a commitment and will work to make a relationship work. It's not that I think you're not good enough, it's more of I refuse to be a rebound, ever. I think you're interesting, and I'd like to get to know you. But that's as far as I think it'll get. But why am I saying so much for a chick that I just met? Because I hate it when girls go back to their ex. I hate it so much. I find it so stupid. You broke up for a reason. And I'm not saying this because I like you. I'm not being biased. Because I know what that's like, going back to an ex. And I'm sure you have your reason but it barely works out. Just more hurt. I know what it's like having an ex run back to you, I know what it's like running back to an ex, and I certainly know what it's like being on the sideline, and watching that girl that you like run back to their ex. And I'm through, with this whole scene. Because bottom line, I'm better off making everyone else smile, than just one person. I think God's telling me that I can't keep my surprisingly big heart to just one person. Enough ranting, next topic.
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there.
And yes, if you've had an abortion, or a miscarriage, you count too.
Just cuz you're unborn child is dead doesn't take that title away from you.
Say no to abortion. They have a mind and they have a right to live.
Happy Mother's Day, mothers.
Hope your today's highlight.
"That's what she said"
On another note.
Thought I found someone worth getting to know, but I think today just proved me otherwise. I'm not being shallow, she's real pretty. But because of my high standards, thickened walls and keeping my heart in a safe, I think I changed my mind, or maybe not. But my reason is that I'm never going to be a rebound again. I'm never going to settle for anything less than what I deserve. Because I realize that it's about cotdamn time that I get someone who I actually deserve. It's about cotdamn time that I find my happiness. Because I think, by now, I earned true bliss. But whatever, I'm sick of always thinking about this. And I'm not being biased. What I heard today, that just a sign for me to drop all of this and not even bother. Regardless of what snucks says about you, regardless of how the first thing he told me was that you're down for a commitment and will work to make a relationship work. It's not that I think you're not good enough, it's more of I refuse to be a rebound, ever. I think you're interesting, and I'd like to get to know you. But that's as far as I think it'll get. But why am I saying so much for a chick that I just met? Because I hate it when girls go back to their ex. I hate it so much. I find it so stupid. You broke up for a reason. And I'm not saying this because I like you. I'm not being biased. Because I know what that's like, going back to an ex. And I'm sure you have your reason but it barely works out. Just more hurt. I know what it's like having an ex run back to you, I know what it's like running back to an ex, and I certainly know what it's like being on the sideline, and watching that girl that you like run back to their ex. And I'm through, with this whole scene. Because bottom line, I'm better off making everyone else smile, than just one person. I think God's telling me that I can't keep my surprisingly big heart to just one person. Enough ranting, next topic.
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there.
And yes, if you've had an abortion, or a miscarriage, you count too.
Just cuz you're unborn child is dead doesn't take that title away from you.
Say no to abortion. They have a mind and they have a right to live.
Happy Mother's Day, mothers.
Hope your today's highlight.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
The One That Got Away.
I thought this was a good read, thought I'd pass it along to you folks.
(http://www.tristancafe.com/forum/4715)
-
In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with .. and the one that got away.
Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.
I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little necessities of giddy romance.
How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.
Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will. So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter.
All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life. If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.
Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late?
Simple .. find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away." You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."
(http://www.tristancafe.com/forum/4715)
-
In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with .. and the one that got away.
Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.
I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little necessities of giddy romance.
How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.
Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will. So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter.
All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life. If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.
Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late?
Simple .. find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away." You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Simply.
Hella vexxed.
Thoughts + arguements + reminiscing + thinking about the future = a fucked up night.
I'm still lost.
Someone, lead the way.
What happened
after last summer
when we broke up
in September
I havent seen you
Feels like a long time
Sometimes it still hurts
But I always get by
I still got a piece of you under my skin
Its always there no matter where Ive been
So if I ever see you on the street
Ill pretend that I didnt see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways
Because if I look into your eyes
Then Ill have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start
I wont even start
I wish you luck
And I wish it true
Thats the best
I can do for you
Cuz youll probably find love
In someone new
I have to let go
Yeah its hard to do
So if I run into you with your arm by his side
Just know itll cut me like a knife
So if I ever see you on the street
Ill pretend that I didnt see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways
Because if I look into your eyes
Then Ill have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start
I wont even start
Ill be ok, Ill be ok
Or thats what Ill say
So if I ever see you on the street
Ill pretend that I didnt see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways
Cuz if I look into your eyes
Then Ill have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start
Oh I wont even start
No I wont even start
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Busy Times.
So, I've been real busy recently. I still have a lot of things to do. And I'm tired, so I only logged on blogger to inform you all that I'm real busy. Hope that doesn't stop you guys from checking out my site as I will do my best to keep you up with the latest events of my uninteresting story. Hope you guys are doing well and feel free to find other means of reaching me. But just so you guys won't say that I'm saying lies about being busy, let me explain what I have to do.
School; I'm trying to finish before the end of the quad, so I'll have an extra week to four months.
Photography; I have two albums of at least 130 pictures each to look through and edit.
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
Twenty four hours isn't enough to do everything.
Until next time!
School; I'm trying to finish before the end of the quad, so I'll have an extra week to four months.
Photography; I have two albums of at least 130 pictures each to look through and edit.
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
Twenty four hours isn't enough to do everything.
Until next time!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Randomly Writing.
I am sick of relationships.
I look back on my past experiences, and I can honestly say, I could've gone through life without it.
I am not looking for a perfect girl, or a perfect relationship.
I just want to experience something so surreal, that when I look back on it, I question whether it was real or just another hapless romantic daydream.
I just want to experience something so original, that William Shakespeare himself, hasn't written about it.
I just want to experience the word love, what it meant back in the time before we abused it like how we abused Mother Nature.
I just want to experience something brand new, instead of hearing the same old relationship problems.
I've honestly got every advice out there memorized for every occassion.
Your boyfriend cheated on you? I have advice for that.
Your girlfriend being too clingy? I have wise words to guide you.
Girl of your dreams not recognizing you? I have the advice that'll get her to notice you.
Guy of your dream might be just playing with your heart? I know exactly how you should act.
I am a therapist for all, because I've experienced all, from both ends.
I've been cheated, I cheated, I've been clingy, had girls cling on to me.
I've gone through everything the world could possibly send my way, relationship wise.
Therapy to a lot. I'm only useful for that, as of today.
Because I've given up on relationships.
Because there is nothing else for me to experience.
So Cupid, do me a favour.
And stay the fuck away from me.
I look back on my past experiences, and I can honestly say, I could've gone through life without it.
I am not looking for a perfect girl, or a perfect relationship.
I just want to experience something so surreal, that when I look back on it, I question whether it was real or just another hapless romantic daydream.
I just want to experience something so original, that William Shakespeare himself, hasn't written about it.
I just want to experience the word love, what it meant back in the time before we abused it like how we abused Mother Nature.
I just want to experience something brand new, instead of hearing the same old relationship problems.
I've honestly got every advice out there memorized for every occassion.
Your boyfriend cheated on you? I have advice for that.
Your girlfriend being too clingy? I have wise words to guide you.
Girl of your dreams not recognizing you? I have the advice that'll get her to notice you.
Guy of your dream might be just playing with your heart? I know exactly how you should act.
I am a therapist for all, because I've experienced all, from both ends.
I've been cheated, I cheated, I've been clingy, had girls cling on to me.
I've gone through everything the world could possibly send my way, relationship wise.
Therapy to a lot. I'm only useful for that, as of today.
Because I've given up on relationships.
Because there is nothing else for me to experience.
So Cupid, do me a favour.
And stay the fuck away from me.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Good Morning.
So I awoke to seeing the bright sun. But then I realized how late I was to get to the erally. Heck, I'm going to be, because I'm still on the computer. I'm trying to find someone to go with me, but I think everyone forgot about it. LOL. But I want to go because the day's great and I want to take some intense pictures of religious proportions. Okay, I'm going to leave soon, by myself, but I'm just making sure my iPod doesn't die on me on the way there. Okay, hour expedition by myself, here I come.
uhm, and you're gay Allyson Loo. I officially hate you. >:( and I should slap myself silly for wanting to come up to you and talk to you, but if I knew it was you, I would've still done the same thing. LOL. And you are mean beyond epic proportions.
uhm, and you're gay Allyson Loo. I officially hate you. >:( and I should slap myself silly for wanting to come up to you and talk to you, but if I knew it was you, I would've still done the same thing. LOL. And you are mean beyond epic proportions.
Text.
Feeling real indifferent right now.
Working on a panorama right now, trying to make it happen.
Contemplating whether I should go to the erally or to school tommorrow.
Need to buy an external drive because the pictures are honestly slowing down my saving speed.
Or maybe just get a laptop while I'm at it.
Note to self:
Read Marcus' story
Finish photo edits. (So glad that I have more)
New concept on self photo
Find font for tattoo
Anyways, I'm tired, so I'm going to read Marcus' story, then head to bed.
Goodnight folks!
Working on a panorama right now, trying to make it happen.
Contemplating whether I should go to the erally or to school tommorrow.
Need to buy an external drive because the pictures are honestly slowing down my saving speed.
Or maybe just get a laptop while I'm at it.
Note to self:
Read Marcus' story
Finish photo edits. (So glad that I have more)
New concept on self photo
Find font for tattoo
Anyways, I'm tired, so I'm going to read Marcus' story, then head to bed.
Goodnight folks!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
This Is.
Okay, I just need to vent off.
Tell me how things are great right now, yet I'm still not happy. Or maybe I'm just feeling unloved. And yes, I know Marcus, John and Imn are going to say I get lots of love, but that's homo love still! It's just not the same. Maybe I'm just lonely;
Or maybe that I'm doing something that I never put up with anymore, or try to avoid. Guess what that is? Drama, problems and other unessesary bullshit that people put in their life. To be honest, and you're probably reading this, you don't need him. You know that, we all know that. I don't know why you're like this, and I hate, HATE it when you're acting like this. I'm here for you and I'm not taking back what I said, about never leaving you, always being there for you, but how can you expect me to try and be there for you when you're letting it affect you so greatly? See, I like girls that are affectionate, a tad clingy, but most of all, independent. And yes, it is relevant. Because that's what I saw in you. This person, that I see in front of me, that I always talk to night after night, hoping she would open her eyes and see the better path, I am not liking her at all. I'm sorry, but I hate it when girls get stuck over a guy that they liked. Sure, he affected your life. And this goes out to you other girls who are still stuck on your ex. Yeah, you know who the fuck you are. Stop clinging to your motherfucking ex. Shit, you guys broke up, you guys are done and over with. Stop holding on to what isn't there. And sure, you'll all probably bitch at me about this, and I'll be back to the uncaring, laid back self that I usually am, but at least it'd be something different for you to bitch about. Motherfuck. Move on with your cotdamn life. You broke up with him, he broke up with you, he was your first lover, he was always there for you, shit. I'm sick of your fucking excuses. You honestly say you want to get over him? Are you even fucking trying? It's pissing me off that you keep bitching about how you want to get over him but you're still going back to him. Or letting him get to you. I've been in more than enough relationships to figure out how breaking up works. And trust me, it only works in these ways. There's no other way to interpret it, other than these ways.
One; A clean break, all ties are severed, it's done. My favourite way.
Two; You guys are mature enough to stay friends without it being awkward.
Three; You go back to him because he is "special" to you. Bullshit, but I won't expose.
Four; You want him back, but he took a clean break on you, so you're being emo about it.
Four ways, vaguely catergorizes all sorts situations for break ups. Now, which one do you fit in?
Okay, I went off topic because as I was writing it, I was reminded of all the other people this past three weeks that I've given some sort of advice about guy problems. I don't mind helping you guys out, but honestly, come to me with more important things that you honestly don't know the answer to. I mean, come on. If you come to me asking for advice on how to get over your ex when you're the one who keeps coming back to him for whataever, expect a harsh reality check. But be warned, I'm as brutally honest as they come, but you only hear the truth. If you want sugar coating, go to a damn candy store.
On another similar note, I've liked this chick for six months. That's a record for me. And I'm actually putting up with the problems she's going through and sincerely putting her first. I don't know why, but I think I actually like her. Well, I knew I liked her before but not to that extent. Most of you guys know that I hate girls with drama or problems because it clashes with my laid back personality. But I'm sticking through with it. Why? Because I just want her to smile again. I want her to be genuinely happy. And even though I know she won't ever like me back again, I'll be satisfied knowing that I'm helping her smile again.
Yes, I'm talking about you. So smile you fatass. Hope you're in a better mood than I am. I'm here for you, and I always will. Like I said, the only people that I'm not there for anymore are the ones that pushed me away. I just hope you don't take my offer for granted. Much love fatass. I'm looking out for you.
P.S.
Immanuel; I got you fam. I couldn't comment on your blog so I thought I'd place up a personal message for you. Much love, no homo.
Tell me how things are great right now, yet I'm still not happy. Or maybe I'm just feeling unloved. And yes, I know Marcus, John and Imn are going to say I get lots of love, but that's homo love still! It's just not the same. Maybe I'm just lonely;
Or maybe that I'm doing something that I never put up with anymore, or try to avoid. Guess what that is? Drama, problems and other unessesary bullshit that people put in their life. To be honest, and you're probably reading this, you don't need him. You know that, we all know that. I don't know why you're like this, and I hate, HATE it when you're acting like this. I'm here for you and I'm not taking back what I said, about never leaving you, always being there for you, but how can you expect me to try and be there for you when you're letting it affect you so greatly? See, I like girls that are affectionate, a tad clingy, but most of all, independent. And yes, it is relevant. Because that's what I saw in you. This person, that I see in front of me, that I always talk to night after night, hoping she would open her eyes and see the better path, I am not liking her at all. I'm sorry, but I hate it when girls get stuck over a guy that they liked. Sure, he affected your life. And this goes out to you other girls who are still stuck on your ex. Yeah, you know who the fuck you are. Stop clinging to your motherfucking ex. Shit, you guys broke up, you guys are done and over with. Stop holding on to what isn't there. And sure, you'll all probably bitch at me about this, and I'll be back to the uncaring, laid back self that I usually am, but at least it'd be something different for you to bitch about. Motherfuck. Move on with your cotdamn life. You broke up with him, he broke up with you, he was your first lover, he was always there for you, shit. I'm sick of your fucking excuses. You honestly say you want to get over him? Are you even fucking trying? It's pissing me off that you keep bitching about how you want to get over him but you're still going back to him. Or letting him get to you. I've been in more than enough relationships to figure out how breaking up works. And trust me, it only works in these ways. There's no other way to interpret it, other than these ways.
One; A clean break, all ties are severed, it's done. My favourite way.
Two; You guys are mature enough to stay friends without it being awkward.
Three; You go back to him because he is "special" to you. Bullshit, but I won't expose.
Four; You want him back, but he took a clean break on you, so you're being emo about it.
Four ways, vaguely catergorizes all sorts situations for break ups. Now, which one do you fit in?
Okay, I went off topic because as I was writing it, I was reminded of all the other people this past three weeks that I've given some sort of advice about guy problems. I don't mind helping you guys out, but honestly, come to me with more important things that you honestly don't know the answer to. I mean, come on. If you come to me asking for advice on how to get over your ex when you're the one who keeps coming back to him for whataever, expect a harsh reality check. But be warned, I'm as brutally honest as they come, but you only hear the truth. If you want sugar coating, go to a damn candy store.
On another similar note, I've liked this chick for six months. That's a record for me. And I'm actually putting up with the problems she's going through and sincerely putting her first. I don't know why, but I think I actually like her. Well, I knew I liked her before but not to that extent. Most of you guys know that I hate girls with drama or problems because it clashes with my laid back personality. But I'm sticking through with it. Why? Because I just want her to smile again. I want her to be genuinely happy. And even though I know she won't ever like me back again, I'll be satisfied knowing that I'm helping her smile again.
Yes, I'm talking about you. So smile you fatass. Hope you're in a better mood than I am. I'm here for you, and I always will. Like I said, the only people that I'm not there for anymore are the ones that pushed me away. I just hope you don't take my offer for granted. Much love fatass. I'm looking out for you.
P.S.
Immanuel; I got you fam. I couldn't comment on your blog so I thought I'd place up a personal message for you. Much love, no homo.
Friday, May 1, 2009
I am.
...through with waiting for the right one.
...through looking for the right one.
...through hoping I'll meet the right one eventually.
...through trying to impress girls that end up wasting my time.
...through playing God with the hearts of women.
...through breaking up relationships for the sake of it.
...through putting unnecessary stress and drama on myself.
...through hoping that I'll find someone that'll put the same effort as I do in a serious relationship.
...through putting faith in relationship.
I'll let things be. Because things have a habit of falling into place. And all the shit that I went through, all the shit that you went through, all the drama that we faced for these girls, these people, and all the shit that we're going through and will go through, only makes us a better person for our family, and for the future we'll live.
I am putting a toast, to us. To those who's had their hearts torn. To those who's placed others before them. To those who's put the smiles of others before their own. To those who's done so much for that one girl, only to have it blow up in their face, here's a toast. Because no one really says, thanks. So here, thank you. Without people like you, like us, the world wouldn't be the same.
Cheers.
...through looking for the right one.
...through hoping I'll meet the right one eventually.
...through trying to impress girls that end up wasting my time.
...through playing God with the hearts of women.
...through breaking up relationships for the sake of it.
...through putting unnecessary stress and drama on myself.
...through hoping that I'll find someone that'll put the same effort as I do in a serious relationship.
...through putting faith in relationship.
I'll let things be. Because things have a habit of falling into place. And all the shit that I went through, all the shit that you went through, all the drama that we faced for these girls, these people, and all the shit that we're going through and will go through, only makes us a better person for our family, and for the future we'll live.
I am putting a toast, to us. To those who's had their hearts torn. To those who's placed others before them. To those who's put the smiles of others before their own. To those who's done so much for that one girl, only to have it blow up in their face, here's a toast. Because no one really says, thanks. So here, thank you. Without people like you, like us, the world wouldn't be the same.
Cheers.
CHICAGO BULLS.
128-127.
3-3
Bulls all the way (:
On a serious note.
I've been thinking a lot again. And that's a bad thing, ninety percent of the time.
I just need a distraction.
I know! I'll read Marcus' story.
Kay, on to story land!
Until next time!
3-3
Bulls all the way (:
On a serious note.
I've been thinking a lot again. And that's a bad thing, ninety percent of the time.
I just need a distraction.
I know! I'll read Marcus' story.
Kay, on to story land!
Until next time!
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