Colour Me Sorry

I have a tendency to place random titles for my blogs. So usually, the title has nothing to do with the blog. Well... the blog will be random so the title will never be relevant.

Remember how in the other blog, i said i might have commitment issues? Yeah... about that...

If anyone can clarify what this means, it would mean so much to me. My friend had thier relationship ended because their relationship wasn't going anywhere. And i was like "wtf?" I would understand if the chemistry, the spark was silenced. But what if they still had feeelings but the relation was terminated cuz it was idle? What the fadge? I did not realize that relationships had a destination. I was not aware that loving a girl that you are proud to call your girlfriend needed a finish line. I've been pondering about it and i have come to the conclusion that people shouldn't look too far into the future. Or you might lose sight of the now.

Now that i am done ranting. I figure i'd sleep. I don't think i have anymore to talk about. OH! Fate... yes. I just think that fate does have a role in our lives. Once is a coincidence. Twice is lucky. Three times is fate. That's my opinion anyways.

What else is bugging me today? Oh, i thought of starting my own vlog. cuz i think it'd be fun to just randomly rant off things on my mind. Maybe during the summer? yeah. sure why not.

Habits are bad. Bad habits are worse. Let's walk away shall we?

I love how you are prolly still reading. I ask you, why? Can you actually understand what i am talking about? Is there even an audience? Oh well. This is a way to organize my thoughts and release rant at my end of the day.

Grammar 101.

So here's an old poem of mine. One of my favourites that i have written. ENJOY

I Want to

I want to control the world
so I can give you anything
I want to relive the moments
when i was your everything

I want to go back to the day
when you said yes to me
I want to go back to when
all you needed was me

I want to be free
before I was locked in
I want to move away
from the problems I'm in

I want to invade your mind
like Professer Xavier
I want to control time,
so these moments i'd savour

I want to go back
to when I first met you
I want to go back
to when you said I love you

I want to learn to drive
so I can just run away
I want to change just for you
so maybe you'd stay

I want to provide you with everything
so a finger you wouldn't have to lift
I want a parachute
cuz I'm falling off this cliff

I want to be indifferent
so that i don't have to care
I want to be invisible
cuz the world just isnt fair

I want to get out of here
so i can start a new
I want to go back
to when I still loved you...

I want all
of these things
I want to be
remembered like kings

I want to vanish
disappear from the world
I want to write
so no one would hear my words

I want to stay
I want to run away
I want to breathe easy
I want to be free

I want to fall
I want to fly
I want to live
I want to die

I want to hate
I want to love
I want to stop
Ive had enough

I want nothing.

--------------------------------------

We just shrug our shoulders and think no more
We just ignore those who ask and shut the door
Spare change is all they want but we revolve around greed
We have ourselves to feed, but what about their needs?

It does no good for me to just complain and whine
But it beats all those who didn't make the time
To even expose the problems of the world to the world
And the world repays you by killing our world.

Moving Along. PT TWO

Previously, at part one.

So i decided to randomly write a note. Why? Cuz i don't wanna nerd on units anymore. Plus i lost my chain of thought on my essay. I was on a writing spree for like ten minutes then i blanked out. Sucks. I've been doing that a lot lately. Random bursts of daydream here and there. Half the time, my mind is just really blank. Maybe i have a mental problem lmao.

Again, my mind is filling up on random things that doesn't even matter anymore. Today's suppose to be a happy day too. But i guess staying up late has made me think too hard upon too many things. I should stop using facebook as a means of blogging. Maybe i should open a livejournal or a blog. Cuz the multiply website i use is dead. I don't even go on it. Maybe i'll go do that now.

Done and Done.

I will now use blogger.com in order to speak out the randomness that is my mind. If you care to read.

Here is my new page.http://www.illicitdesire.blogspot.com/
Thank you.
Come Again.

Now.. onto part two.

So like i said, i use blogs to randomly post up what is on my mind. No rant, no hate, just the thoughts that are wandering through my mind.

I hate it when i lost my chain of thought. My phone rang and i immediately lost my mind's thoughts. Ugh, whatever. I await what tomorrow will bring.

P.S.
I will try to update this page each day for those who read.
Try to keep you up with the latest notions of my mind.
Hopefully, it will present a good read to those who take their time to read this.
Anyways, I thank you in advance. Please do comment to share what's on your mind.

Sincerly Yours,
Zane.

P.P.S.
I remembered now. I think i hav problems when it comes to relationships. I love to be in one, but i don't wanna be held down by the restrictions of one girl. yes, it sounds bad, but i realized that is how i am. I cannot stay socializing to only ONE girl. I have had a relationship where she prevented me from talking to other girls. Needless to say, i broke it off. Too different on how we see things. Maybe i do have commitment issues. Why would you care if i keep hurting myself in the process? But hey, I'm in one right now and today is our one month. Congrats to me.

Anyways, here's a story for you guys.

I was on the bus today and this girl kept on looking my direction. At first, i thought she was just looking past me and through the window but then i found myself staring into her eyes and she was staring back. So, the bus ride was really long. Traffic all the way to my destination, even though it wasn't the usual rush hour moment. She got up and sat next to me (because she was sitting across me). She asked me if the bus went to this street. But clueless me, i said "I don't know." Now, i thought this would end the conversation at that. But she was persistant. She kept the conversation going with needless questions. Then, what made me laugh the most was when she said "Oh, my stop is coming up. I have to go now." Realize that she started the conversation when she asked if the bus stopped at her stop. She ended the conversation "come visit me sometime." Sadly, i do not know her name or her phone. So she is another stranger that i will, hopefully, converse with again, if fate will allow me.

I am now a big fan of Fate. I will expand more on that tomorrow. Cuz i'm tired. Laters Readers!