Birchmount Inspiration.

The most exhilarating experience is when you glance at someone and realize their beauty.
This is my attempt in engraving her beauty in my forgetful mind.
I wont put any effort in explaining her physique, because words cannot flatter her beauty.
I want to engrave the feeling she has made my frozen heart feel.
Sitting across from her, while I was having a conversation with my friend, I secretly wanted to conversate with her instead.
Though my eyes glanced at him, I kept her in my vision.
Dropping hints on how she may reach me, I subtly tell her things about me.
My plans for the future, what I find passion through, everything and anything, except my name.
I even told her how to reach me through a million different ways.
Okay, not exactly a million but close enough.
I explained in full detail my photography website and my blogspot.
I even spelt both of them out for her, hoping she would remember.
But I knew it was a long shot, though my heart pleaded for a miracle.
I'm a big believer in fate, so I'll take the coward's way out.
If we're meant to be, it'll happen.
I knew if I tried to conversate, I would be turned down.
Her eyes stole my breath, a beauty on its own.
Never have I felt like this for a complete stranger.
I pictured what would happen if I tried to spark a conversation.
I would say hi, find a lame reason to talk to her.
Work hard to keep the flow of conversation in motion, hoping to exchange phone numbers in the end.
I was coming up with the plays but my legs were stubborn.
Refusing to move, is that my new self defense that I've taught myself subconscienly?
I gave it some thought.
What if she does reject me, right from the start?
Trying to give myself hope through putting aside these silly notions.
I couldn't help but give it a quick second thought.
Rejection would hurt me after I found the courage to try.
Rejection would shatter my nonexistant confidence turning me into a monster that never shows his face.
Rejection would hurt.
But for a chance like this, and a person like her, I knew I had to try.
But the awkwardness of rejection stopped me again.
I didn't know her desitination, which proved to be mind boggling.
I've caught a case of rejection phobia.
If she did reject me, and her bus stop was the last one, how awkward would it be for me to sit across from her?
She, knowing that rejection has shattered what's left of me, and I knowing that I am not worthy enough to get to know a beautiful person like her.
Then I thought of the perfect way to stimulate and conversate with her and her profound beauty.
I would get up, sit behind her, tap her shoulders.
Smile and look into her eyes, and say the following sentence.
You see, I'm the type of person that got sick of the relationship scene.
And I'll come clean, I've had my heart broken before, thinking to myself that what if I'm not boyfriend material?
You see, I've treated those who broke me apart with respect and unconditional love.
I'm the type of person who will go out of his way to make you smile.
I'm the kind of person who will, honestly, do anything and everything to make your world better.
I'm not saying that you need to make things better, I'm saying that I am that person that you awe to when you watch the Notebook, A Walk to Remember and other movies of that type.
I am that type of person, the ones that keep girls like you awake at night, wondering if such guys like the ones portrayed in romantic movies exists.
But I said before that I got tired of the relationship scene.
But seeing you, I think I gained the hope that I had lost.
See, maybe it's just me, but I feel like we've made a connection.
From the minute I saw you, my heart and my mind gave me signs that I NEED to get to know you.
Maybe I'm crazy, but then again, isn't that what love is?
I'm not saying I love you, hold on there.
I'm saying that I felt something surreal, unexplainable, and you are the cause of it.
And because of it, I'm saying things that I would never dare share with a complete stranger.
Then I'll pause.
Look into her eyes again, hoping to engrave that beauty.
Then I'll take a breath and proceed.
You see, I just want to conversate with a complete stranger, pick at her brain, figure out what makes her tick.
Maybe grow feelings for one another, but let's not get ahead ourselves.
I just want to get to know you, first hand, at this time, even if we don't exchange numbers.
I've been sitting across from you, wondering what the sound of your voice sounds like.
Hold on, that sounded creepy.
Let me rephrase that.
I want to hear your voice to see if it matches the profound beauty that I see in you.
Wait, that still sounds creepy.
Let me try again.
I'd like to hear the gentle sound of your voice for the sake of my curiosity.
Okay, that's better.
Now, I'll shut up right now, hoping that you'll talk back.
Before you say anything, let me finish.
I'm going to get up, sit back in my seat and listen to my music.
If I, by any chance, caught your attention, as you have clearly caught mine, pull the earphone out of my ears, and open up with a hi and your name.
Then I would smile at her, and hopefully she would have an amused look on her face, if not, an intrigued one.
I would get up and sit back in my seat.
That's how I would do it.
I've decided.
I had my mind set.
My mind was ready.
I'm going to act on impulse and figure out why exactly do I feel this unexplainable connection with her.
But then.
She presses the stop request button, signalling that she's reached her destination.
She gets up, and heads for the open door.
Right before she leaves, I realize that she's been listening to music this entire time.
My previous hints have failed.
I feel like I was rejected before I even got a chance to say hi.
But a sigh of relief passed my body, knowing that I'm never going to see her again.
Then, instantly, with that thought, I was enraged.
Foolish me!
How could I have not taken this opportunity.
Clearly she wanted me to start conversation.
We had looked each other eye to eye and it just felt like I had an open chance.
Secretly, I'm hoping that she knows my site, and is reading this at this moment, thinking of a clever way to comment so I would know that it's her and she feels the same way.
But I do not wish to give myself false hope.
But I figure, fate will bring us together once more, if the connection I feel is truly real.
I just hope that I did a good enough job engraving her beauty in my forgetful mind.