Ranting.

So after spending the last two hours reminscing on my life, I couldn't help but think back. I've been getting so much lectures from everyone around, and it's honestly pissing me off. From my parents, I understand. From my relatives, I can see their concern. And I hate it when people act like I'm a child, like I don't know what to do with my life. Well, I do. I know what I want and I will reach it. Asking me questions like "what're you going to do, you haven't gone to school in four months." Shit like that honestly piss me off, but THANK YOU. You fuel the motivation that I was lacking. I will die proving you people wrong. Just so you know, I have not been wasting my time. I have been productive, I have not been wasting my life away. Unlike you, I've been figuring out my future, planning ahead and yes, I do know what I want to be. Yes, I do know where I want to go. And yes, I don't give a fuck what you think. In all honesty, my real motivation to stay in school is because I made a promise to my grandparents, the ones I have now and the ones that have passed away, that I would finish my education and make my parents proud. So for you bastards who talk shit about me, keep it to yourself. No actually, tell it to my face. I want you to write it in blood so that when I do prove you wrong, you can't say shit like "I never doubted you." Because I do know for a fact that you doubt me. You're telling everyone that you doubt me. You're telling my own family that I should just find a full time job so I could be useful. I may have been in a rut, but you don't know what I've been through. You have no right to tell me that I am a failure. It just angers me how you think so lowly of me. But please, keep doing so. Not only do I have the motivation to fulfill my promise to my grandparents, my promise to my parents, the promise to my own little brother, I now have the motivation to prove you wrong. What I went through shows that hope is never gone, that with a little bit of faith, miracles can happen. I'll be honest, I felt hopeless after a lot of things seemed to be failing in my life. I'll be honest, I was deeply affected when I heard news about someone real close to me. I went through a stage of depression because I thought my situation was hopeless. I became miserable, and I began to hate a lot about my life. But look at me now, I found a passion that I wouldn't have discovered if I spent my days in school. I opened up new opportunities by missing four months of semestered education. I love my life and I actually look forward to the future ahead of me. I'll tell you right now, just because I was not in school did not mean I stopped learning. No, I studied photography books, techniques, read about colleges and universities to help me see where I want to be in a couple of years. I've never been closer in my faith, and I'm satisfied where I am with God right now. My time spent in solitary confinement have made me realize a lot of things. In short, I have become wiser and mature in these four months. So no, I did not waste my time. I see these past four months as a growing phase. I overcame my own worst nightmare, my biggest obstacle and got rid of it for good. I now see myself in a whole new light and I wouldn't have been able to do that without the countless hours I spent by myself. With nothing but my own thoughts, and music playing in the background. So fuck off. My life is not a waste, I am not a failure and God knows that my future is bright. I'll show you. I'll show the whole world.

Four months is nothing compared to the years that the average person spends figuring out his life, his passion, and trying to overcome his biggest obstacle.