Matthew's Journal

This is a story that I started on last night, I thought I might try a new way of writing and story telling, so enjoy. It's unfinished but I hope you'll want to read more.

December 25th 2008

It’s my first entry in this book. I haven’t written in a while, my writing seems to have gotten worse. Oh, where are my manners? My name is Matthew. Huh, sounds like I’m writing a story. I doubt anyone will be reading this. After all, it is a journal. Wouldn’t that be cool though? To think that my life could be portrayed as a story that people read in their past time. I doubt it. After all, I’m the author. I’m a horrible story teller. But in case anyone gets a hold of this, I suppose I should talk a bit about myself. Someone probably will. I always lose things. Like I wrote earlier, my name is Matthew. I am eighteen years old. My parents left me in an orphanage when I was three. According to Theo, my parents placed me for adoption because my parents didn’t want me. I remember my first day at the orphanage. My parents were talking to the receptionist while I was sitting quietly. I was observing my surroundings, as I normally did. I saw the children peering from the next room. I assumed that my parents were adopting, they were always talking about adoption. At the time, I was only able to understand a couple of words here and there, but I was able to speak simple sentences. I asked my parents one night why they were talking about adoption, for my lack of understanding prevented me from knowing the whole story. All they said was they were planning on visiting one. I had no idea of their real intentions. They gave in some sort of paperwork and walked towards me. My father just glanced at me and walked out the door. My mom had tears in her eyes. I had no idea why at the time. She kissed me on the forehead and said she’ll be back. I walked my mom out the door and said goodbye. I heard her sobbing. My innocence at the time prevented me from understanding why she had started to cry as I said goodbye to her. As I watched them walk to their car, turn on the engine and drive away, the caretaker was sweeping the porch. I saw him sigh and looked at me with pitying eyes. Only now do I know why he was showing signs of sympathy. It only took me until the end of the day to realize that my parents were not coming back. The receptionist mocked me, I hated her so much. She made my life a living hell. There were a lot of staffs that lived in the orphanage. An orphanage the size of a mansion was hard to maintain, especially if there are at least twenty other children in the house. I made no friends with the other children. I knew what the place was. I knew that one by one, we would be adopted, as if we were objects for sale. I despised the other kids, and they kept their distance from me. The only two human beings I ever interacted there was the caretaker and a person of another gender. Theo the caretaker, as the other children would call him. Everyone loved him, even the stuck up blonde receptionist. I would always be sitting by myself, just admiring the books that were in the library of the house. When I was six years old, I was looking for another book to read though I found it quite hard. My vocabulary at the time was not that strong and it was hard for me to understand some words., especially with the lack of a dictionary. He came up and said that I should read the Lemony Snicket Series. I asked him if it was interesting and he told me that it was about siblings who were orphaned and faced the world on their own. I grew interest and when I had questions about the story, whether it be trying to understand their motives or with big words that I did not know what they meant, I would go to him.

As the years progressed, I became somewhat more social. But I stuck to talking to Theo. Since the staff slept in the building, Theo would sometimes share stories while he would light a pipe. The receptionist, who seemed to be the one running the place, forbids Theo from smoking. So Theo would wait until everyone is asleep and have a light outside, by the garden. I was restless at night so he invited me to tag along, assuming that I don’t get caught and that I don’t tattle. At first, I thought it would be hard to sneak out, but my roommates were paranoid, scared of the dark. I used that to my advantage. I would always laugh in the morning as they talked tales of the noises I would make as I got up and walked out the door. I found Theo to be an interesting character. He told me that he was drafted in the war when he was just eighteen and he was one of the lucky ones to survive. From the books that I’ve read, it was a horrifying event, and Theo testified to that. I grew fond of Theo, thought of him as my father. Then one day, Theo came to me with the best news that I’ve ever heard. He had just bought his own place, in the suburbs of town and that he wanted me to be his adopted son. I was ecstatic. I had no ties to cut with the orphanage, except for a girl who seemed to have grown fond of me. I asked Theo could also adopt her, seeing as she was the only one who wasn’t slightly afraid of me. Theo agreed and from then on, I thought us three would be a happy family.