Childish Moments

As I play another instrumental, I'm feeling sentimental
I'm feeling quite mental, don't be judgemental
I'm just a person who wears his heart on his wrist
Smiling faces is bliss, but I have quite a list
Of exes and ohs like it was tic tac toe
Ohs represent girls that should've been just a no
Although the experience is one of a kind
My heart didn't mind, being placed on the line
You got to take risks, or else you might miss
I'm just another being who doesn't know who he is
I'm thinking aloud, with a million of doubts
And I'm not thinking twice of what comes out my mouth
I use to be that nerd who never spoke a word
To the opposite gender, maybe that sounds absurd
I had crushes, I was certainly not queer
I was just me back then, and I had a fear
Of being broken into two, by you and you
So I did the right thing, took me from you
Never acted upon said feelings ever again
Keeping my thoughts written, hidden, and then
A beautiful girl named blabla for her privacy
Came into my life, how'd I fall for her so easily?
Did I close my eyes for a second, fell for lies?
The heart can be fooled, but I think I might
Try, take a risk, how could I miss
A chance like this? Oh this is bliss
But she lead me on, and I grew strong
Now I can handle breakups in groups or throngs!
Am I wrong? I heal, weeks later, to feel
More of these abnormalities, are they real?
I don't know, but starting at this moment
I will keep all those, forever dormant
Never to reveal what my heart really feels
So if you want my heart, you'll have to steal
The key, from me and to my beating heart
But just so you know, it's been torn apart
Pieces taken away by every ex girlfriend
Because they carry it around at every bend
And I don't want it back, it's contaminated
My heart's now sedated, my evil side inflated
I've gone to the dark side, like Lucifer
Now that I think back, it all just a blur