Silence

In this deafening silence, I can hear your voice, ever so clearly.
It’s like you’re standing right beside me.
Whispering in my ears, telling me that you miss me.
And though I try to drive the thought out of my mind.
I can’t unhear it.
You’ve spoken the words that I’ve yearned to hear.
Because it proves that you made a mistake breaking my heart.
It proves that I was unjustly torn apart.
It proves that YOU were wrong and I was right.
Because when you TEXTED me that we were through,
A part of me could not believe that it was true.
Though a bigger part of me knew the truth.
That our happily ever after would never come true.
But your voice is just a whisper in the winds.
A creation of my own imagination.
I want to think that you do miss me, ever so dearly.
I tell myself, of course she misses me, why wouldn’t she?
But I know.
I know that I am lying between my teeth.
Why would she miss me.
I am undeserving of an intimacy of that caliber.
I had not done anything to prove myself worthy of such a relationship.
My insecurities conflict with what I tell myself, everyday.
I tell myself that I am okay.
That I am content.
That I am proud of who I am.
That I am over you.
But I know.
I know the truth underneath every sentence I speak.
Everytime I say I’m okay, I’m admitting defeat.
Everytime I say I am content, I’m admitting disatisfaction.
Everytime I say I am proud, I’m admitting disappointment.
And when I say I am over you, I’m admitting that you still haunt my mind.
I’m admitting that you still have ownership on my heart.
I’m admitting that I am still in love, though we are apart.
This is the longest time I have spent trying to get over someone.
A little over a year has passed since I last heard your voice.
How I yearn to speak with you once again.
But all I hear is silence.
And in this deafening silence, I can only hear my own voice.
I miss you.