NTS

This shows how much I have no life, but I need to write it down or I might lose track of them.

TV Shows-
House
HowIMetYourMother
BigBangTheory
Bones
NCIS
Fringe
Dexter

Manga-
Fairy Tail - UTD
Mirai Nikki - UTD
FullMetalAlchemist - UTD
Naruto - UTD
One Piece - UTD
Zetsuen no Tempest - UTD
Monster Soul - CH XX
Yu Yu Hakusho - CH 10
Flame of Recca - CH XX
Law of Ueki - CH XX
Mahou Sensei Negima - CH XX
Ayashi no Ceres - CH XX
Bleach - CH XX
Darker Than Black - CH XX

I'll add more once I remember them.

* UTD = up to date

Christmas Wishlist !

Okay, normally, I'm not the materialistic type. It's quite rare that I want a bunch of things all at once. But I thought I'd indulge my greedy nature and show my readers what kind of things I desire. But some of them aren't that materialistic. So...here we go !


HIMYM Seasons 1-5

No Country For Old Men DVD

Nikon SB-400 Speedlight Flash

More enthusiastic and not busy models

Borderlands (PS3)

A great part time job

Better photography skills

More photoshoots

Better sleeping habits

Better educational habits

Better writing skills

Commitment, dedication and motivation to my stories

A new video card so I can dual screen

XBOX 360 ELITE (With HALO 3)

;)

Inspiration

That wish that I wish for every 11:11 to come true.

And, that's it, I suppose.

kristine, dianne says (11:18 PM):
kinda miss your voice
just a tad bit

^ :P

:(

I need better school habits.

The Axiom.

You're special.
And that's only scratching the surface of what I think about you.
There are millions of words in the English dictionary.
And I still can't find the right set of words to explain what goes through my mind when my smile reflects yours.
A million synonyms and antonyms.
And I still can't find the ideal word to describe how beautiful your eyes are, when I find myself lost in them.
A million different combinations of sentences can be formed.
And yet, I still can't find that sentence that would plunge despair, doubt, cynicism, hate and envy out of your vocabulary.
A million thoughts formed in a single second.
But the one thought that I need to perfectly portray the loveliness that I see in you, always alludes me.
It escapes me.
Like the millions of phrases that I wish I could come up with to properly display the attraction that your mind has captured me with.
Billions and millions and thousands of expressions are out there,
Not one of them can depict, in HD quality imagery, the way my heart beats faster when it hears the beat of your heart.
I can't come across a single axiom, or the truth when I try to explain the effects inflicted towards me when I hear the sound your soothing, calming, gentle voice.
It's impossible to explain how my soul smiles when it senses that you are near by.
You're special, and it's difficult to explain what you mean to me.
But some things are better left unexplained.

Past-time.

Dexter - S2E3
House - up to date
HIMYM - up to date
Bones - rewatching
The Mentalist - rewatching
Fringe - up to date
NCIS - up to date
Supernatural - rewatching
Naruto - up to date
Full Metal Alchemist - up to date
Nabari no ou - Ep 5

yeah, i think that's all.
can't help but think i'm missing something.

All I Got

Is myself.

Insecurity.

Am I special?
I'm an infant playing with toys.
A child learning to play the game.
Just a kid living in a virtual world.
A teen challenging the bounderies of his mind.
Just an eighteen year old holding a controller, exploring the realms of the real world.
See, I'm nothing special.
I'm walking through life, aimlessly.
Trying to decipher the maze inside the mind.
Breathless at the wonders of the free world.
I'm just curious, and I act on it.
So, I'm just an infant, playing with toys.
I'm nothing special.
I'm trying to learn to be the perfect person.
Though I'm failing to even come near that goal.
Because perfection does not exist.
But I still strive to be perfect at what I do.
I'm just a child learning to play the game.
I'm nothing close to special.
I pretend everything's a game.
So that when I get hurt, I just restart.
Except I don't start from the beginning.
I start from where I left off,
Pick up the pieces and move forward.
Playing an RPG and my charisma is my strongest attribute.
Use my smile 'cuz it's my strongest magic
And hope to charm an unsuspecting victim.
I'm just a kid living in a virtual world.
I'm nothing, especially not special.
I'm in love with the human mind.
Only using ten percent, I strive to unlock the other ninety.
Einstein discovered math, and they believed he used eleven percent.
Imagine, the possibilities when one's using all one hundred percent.
But I dabble in first hand experiences.
Experiments, figuring out how it works through experiments.
I'm just a teen challenging the bounderies of his mind.
I'm experimenting with your feelings, is that why you think I'm special?
I'm finally eighteen.
Technically legal.
But I'm still childish.
Immature.
Smiling and laughing like a little kid should.
Making jokes, making those around me smile.
An eighteen year old, with an infant's mind.
Eighteen years of age, with a child's attention span.
Eighteenth year since birth, still a kid at heart.
Eighteen years have passed
I've accomplished nothing
I've let a decade and eight years slip by me.
I'm not special!
That's how the world portrays me.
How jobs and careers and schools show me.
I'm nothing, except another face in the street.
Another body in the city.
Another figure in the shadow of the world.
I'm just somebody else.
I'm easily replaced.
So basically, the entire universe tells me I'm not special.
I'm just another human being.
So please, save your "You are special to me," speech for some other sucker.
Because I know the truth.
I'm just another character.
I'm not special...

Horrible.

My friend keeps telling me I'm horrible on an almost daily basis.
My friend calls me evil at times.
Some people say I'm a very deceitful person.
But I'm human.
I'm also sincere, brutally honest, passionate.
I think those three qualities should outshine my cynical side.
I must admit, I may not be conceited, and sometimes I lack confidence and self esteem, but I am cynical, up to a certain point.
I've gone through a lot, so my kind hearted nature that people keep telling me that I am, which I sometimes disbelieve due to my humble and cynical nature, is hard to reach.
It's buried underneath everything I've gone through.
Also, I've become impatient.
If you don't believe me, I won't waste my time telling you that I really am telling the truth.
I am who I am.
I've accepted myself for who I am.
I'm not going to change for anyone, ever again.
It's a warning, so that when you get close, and you, for some strange reason, fall for me, you'll know what to expect.
Even just befriending me, I don't hide my true colours.
I show them from the first day I'll meet you, to the very last words you'll ever say to me.
I've got trust issues, so you'll have to prove yourself.
I know, you're thinking, who the fuck am I to be saying such things.
If you're thinking that, then... you don't deserve my friendship.
Yes, I said deserve.
I lack self esteem, but I know damn well that I'm a good person.
And that I am worth more than a backstab opportunity waiting to happen.
But if you do manage to pull through, break down all the walls I've placed, walk past every landmine I've planted and look past everything I portray on the outside...
You'll see that inside, lies a soul, who's kind hearted, generous, sincere, honest, passionate, loving, caring, intelligent, interesting, and holds a heart too big for him to hold.
But I promise you, you'll go through hell and back before you ever take a glimpse of that soul, that side of me.
That's why I'm branded as horrible.

Yupp.

This year's been hard,
But at least I know what I am.
And I know where I stand.
I can't say that it's been easy.
But I wouldn't trade what I've been through
Because it's those hardships
That's taken me here.

Dreams

That's where I'm happy. Surprised? I wasn't.

Insight.

So Aaron Cruz is like my fictional character in my story. When I write, I feel like the stories I weave are real. Therefore, in my mind, Aaron Cruz exists. Am I crazy? Partially. I prefer to be categorized as different, unique, a new breed of writing. Anyways.

The more we go into this, the less we talk. I'm starting to feel like you were right all along and trying to prove you wrong would just end up in me falling flat on my face. So, I'll let the world decide our fate.

Hm, what else.

Go to sleep Kim Liban!

I'm awkward around girls!
LOL hella random.

I'm in need of some sociological insight into certain kinds of people, psychological and anthropological wise too.

Oh, btw, Waking Up is under construction in a sense of it WILL BECOME A SHORT FILM :)
Iris needs to be let out real soon.
and I'm hoping to get some of my creativity let out soon
And last but not least. Aaron Cruz, you're a slick character. Stop hiding from me, I must tell your story.
As an author, my characters come to life. But does that make me crazy, to refer to them as real people?
Okay, it's decided. If I don't get into photography, I'm getting into either Social Worker, Anthropologist, Psycologist, or Sociologist. Done deal !
The mind is the greatest work of art in the history of the universe.

Kay, goodnight.
Sweet dreams,
Kim Liban
Cuz I know you're reading this. LOL

Sigh.

I'm stressed. So I figure I'd let some of that out through this. Seeing as nothing else has remotely worked. Okay, let's start off with school. Nothing's the problem, everything's going good, for once. Trying to keep it like that but I'm not sure if it'll stay like that for long. I've been stressed, and I took a day off today to relax and take some time for myself. I'm starting to slowly walk back into that state where I was six months ago.

As you may or may not know, I just turned eighteen almost a month ago. As great as it is, finally being able to buy lottery and being considered legal, it really isn't that much different. I feel the stress more and I think I'm just suppose to bear with it and do what I can. No more complaining, asking for help, because I'm eighteen. I gotta hold my own, because the future only gets harder. I'm glad for those who are there for me, never going to take them for granted. And with that said, I couldn't have asked for better friends or family. These past eighteen years have been nothing but a great learning experience and I'm blessed to have such wonderful people surrounding me. Thanks.

I think I'm more self aware now. I think... I'm going through more than I realize. But it's good to know I have people to count on.

I think...he's catching feelings for her. If he does like her, and she likes him back, I don't think he's going to ask her out. I think he'd just want to keep their friendship where it is, and wouldn't want to ruin a great thing. I told him that's the smart thing to do, I hope he listens. You hear that? I know you're reading this. I HOPE YOUR LISTENING TO ME.

Uhm, comment on my pictures at alezada0920.mpchallenge.com It's a metro photography competition. I gave it my all, handed in my best work IMO. And all I can do now is hope that my work is noticed by the judges. If they don't notice it, no biggie. I know I'm talented, and I won't let a simple competition put me down. I'm just gonna work harder to get even better and take next year by storm.

Okay, that's enough blogging.

School, life, photo, writing, it's so hard to balance you all. But I'm trying.

Until next time !

._.

Maybe I do need a girlfriend who lives closer to me.

Me Too.

She said ; "she doesn't know what she wants..."

I replied ; "you want perfection, but you don't know what perfection is, therefore, you don't know what you want."

I feel the same way.

Tipseee

I'm kinda out of my mind.
Feeling tipsy,
so I'll just drop by
say hello, how are you
and then say have a great night, sweet dreams.

Hope y'all are doing well.
I'm a bit smashed, but I thought I might update.

Fiending some of that.
Sinematic.

christine !

I'm back!
Just updated my flickr page, go check it out.
After a ten day hiatus, I got my priorities straight, and my focus focused. Anyways, this is what made my night, I thought I'd share it with you guys.
I'm back, now, go check out my flickr page. I took ten days off this place just for you guys and those photos,
Okay, I lie, but hey, it's the thought that counts.
I've been hella busy, but here you go !

http://flickr.com/photos/sinematic

christine ! says (1:17 AM):
aww angelo you're so good
and so passionate
i'm happy for you
christine ! says (1:22 AM):
haha no but srsly i'm so happy for you that you've found somethingyou love. instead of wasting yoru life on the itnernet liek me. haha. it's good your'e making something of your talent and really expressing yourself through art
i admire that, srsly.
christine ! says (1:43 AM):
nah, angelo. you're lucky you're not having to deal with a disease or loss.
and you should take the depression you feel and turn it into positive energy that you use to move forward in your life.
christine ! says (1:44 AM):
as long as you're living there's always hope for change and improvement. no matter how screwed up things might get there will always be hope to change things as long as you're alive. the only thing that can ever stop you from achieving your dreams if death. other than that anything is possible. truly.
christine ! says (1:45 AM):
and you're young. you've got a long ways to go. i knwo you'll be able to clena up whatever mess there is and start over and be happy.
christine ! says (1:46 AM):
just keep at it and be strong and positive. there's no reason why things won't get better. as long as you strive to make it better.the strife you're going through right now will only make the victory sweeter. and things will be alright. you can trust in that because God's with you and God's already won it all
just keep on keeping on and be patient with your life. good things come to those who wait. you're happiness is coming, angelo. whatever's happening right now is just preparing you for it.
christine ! says (1:47 AM):
and don't forget to pray.

<3

I made her smile AND i got heart from her.
What an awesome start ot this day.

Artist Statement.

Q: Why do you consider yourself an artist?

A: I consider myself an artist. Artists use their talents to get their message across, they have an undeniable passion for their creative outlet, they never let anyone's words break their way of self expression and they never let anyone get in the way of their dreams. So yes, I am an artist.

Q: As an artist, what do you think of other people's work?

A: Self expression, you can't judge that. There's no such thing as a bad artwork or even a written. It's all self expression like I always say. But some art work are just so eye-gasmic, you can't help but say, damn, they're hella great.

Q: What's your biggest inspiration?

A: Everything. I see beauty everywhere. What's not beautiful about our world?

Q: Do you follow that stereotype that creative minds work best at night?

A: Sadly, yes. Sometimes I stay up till the birds start chirping finishing a poem.

Q: What's the your ideal working space?

A: As a photographer, a plain coloured wall, preferably white or beige but eye blinding colours like lime green or purple are just as good, a computer and the love of my life, Iris, my d60.

Q: Why'd you pick the arts?

A: Self expression. You can't speak your mind in math, at least not in the same way. I've got a lot on my mind all the time. Art and english helps me relieve those thoughts.

Q: Did you always want to go into the arts?

A: LOL, no. I planned to be a mathematical genuis or a science nerd. I still am. It's kind of hard not to be when both your parents work in banks in IT Programming with a computer science/engineering major. It also doesn't help that math, science and history were their favourite subjects.

Q: What do you want to be?

A: I want to be perfect. But I figure that's an impossibility. We're humans, so perfect is out of our reach. Oh, you mean life wise? I'd like to be a photographer. But to be honest, I'm still hoping for winning the 20 million jackpot and travelling the world with Iris.

Q: Aside from your professional work, what else do you use photography for?

A: Professional? LOL. Photoshoots with friends for fun, an excuse to chill and break out my d60. Need a new profile display picture? Find me. Haha.

Q: Describe yourself in one word.

A: Human.

Q: What are you wishing for?

A: That I find a couple model and a girlfriend who'll let me take countless pictures of her beauty. LMFAO.

Q: Anything else you want to tell your readers?

A: What readers? Uh, thanks for the support you've given me and look forward to my new pieces coming out soon. Sorry for being a lazy fatass that I am.

Apology.

I've been hella tired lately, so my mind isn't itself. Sorry, (: I'll try to get a lot of sleep over this summer and will get back on track with projects and whatnots. Until then, hope that I get better asap!

RYC.

First, I just want to acknowledge the event that I went to this weekend. It was an awesome experience. I am blessed to have experienced and witnessed the first regional youth conference!

"No matter what you do, it won't make me love you less." That's what love's all about.

And on that random note that half of you won't understand... I present to you something sentimental. I've been working on this for a week, and I just wanted to vent out something that's always on my mind. I won't get into details but as all of you already know, my work is more for me. Be happy that I'm sharing some of my most personal and deepest thoughts on this, for your entertainment. And without further ado, here it is.

For Her.

This one is for her.
Though I've yet to meet her, see her, be with her,
Please her, smile at her, make a fool out of me
I dedicate this poem for that soon to be special lady.
Maybe she'll read this and fall in love with me
But I don't know a thing about her.
Except she's perfect through my eyes
While I try to sieze her gaze through spontaneous hi's
I wish I knew her already, personally
So instead of this poetry, I'd be talking to her up to quarter past three
Make her smile with flattery that she's never heard of before
But I'm stuck with closed doors, with a lock and inscription that I've never seen before
Like love is another dialect, like a question where my answer is never correct
Just like I'd expect from something so unexplainable
Because this feeling that I want to feel is not visual
This is like an old school young mind love struck poetry written a bit too personally.
And if you take it literally, that's your choice.
But through these written, that helps my mind quicken, i give my creativity a voice.
But I've gone off topic
Back to the love of my life who'll unlock the soul insde me that's well defended and locked.
Back to the woman of my dreams, searching for someone like me to be placed on her team.
Will she like what she sees, or maybe she's someone I've already seen.
Or I already know her, but I've yet to realize.
They say real eyes realize real lies, but what logic does that live by?
Because if real eyes can realize a real lie, then where do I lie?
Because I do nothing but smile and say hi.
Without breaking down the walls that are stacked so high.
These are placed so that I
Can never feel hurt, and if you're asking a question regarding why
I only have one answer for you, and that's because I'm looking out for I.
I can only hope that she's patient and I am someone she sees worth waiting for.
Because I know she's worth waiting for.